CHAPTER XXIII.

fromhimnotaword,noralook!Hehadpassedoutoftheroomwithoutalook! Shehadonlytime,however,tomoveclosertothetablewherehehadbeenwriting,whenfootstepswereheardreturningthedooropened,itwashimself.Hebeggedtheirpardon,buthehadforgottenhisgloves,andinstantlycrossingtheroomtothewritingtable,hedrewoutaletterfromunderthescatteredpaper,placeditbeforeAnnewitheyesofglowingentreatyfixedonherforatime,andhastilycollectinghisgloves,wasagainoutoftheroom,almostbeforeMrsMusgrovewasawareofhisbeinginit:theworkofaninstant! TherevolutionwhichoneinstanthadmadeinAnne,wasalmostbeyondexpression.Theletter,withadirectionhardlylegible,to“MissA.E.—,”wasevidentlytheonewhichhehadbeenfoldingsohastily.WhilesupposedtobewritingonlytoCaptainBenwick,hehadbeenalsoaddressingher!Onthecontentsofthatletterdependedallwhichthisworldcoulddoforher.Anythingwaspossible,anythingmightbedefiedratherthansuspense.MrsMusgrovehadlittlearrangementsofherownatherowntabletotheirprotectionshemusttrust,andsinkingintothechairwhichhehadoccupied,succeedingtotheveryspotwherehehadleanedandwritten,hereyesdevouredthefollowingwords: “Icanlistennolongerinsilence.Imustspeaktoyoubysuchmeansasarewithinmyreach.Youpiercemysoul.Iamhalfagony,halfhope.TellmenotthatIamtoolate,thatsuchpreciousfeelingsaregoneforever.Ioffermyselftoyouagainwithaheartevenmoreyourownthanwhenyoualmostbrokeit,eightyearsandahalfago.Darenotsaythatmanforgetssoonerthanwoman,thathislovehasanearlierdeath.Ihavelovednonebutyou.UnjustImayhavebeen,weakandresentfulIhavebeen,butneverinconstant.YoualonehavebroughtmetoBath.Foryoualone,Ithinkandplan.Haveyounotseenthis?Canyoufailtohaveunderstoodmywishes?Ihadnotwaitedeventhesetendays,couldIhavereadyourfeelings,asIthinkyoumusthavepenetratedmine.Icanhardlywrite.Iameveryinstanthearingsomethingwhichoverpowersme.Yousinkyourvoice,butIcandistinguishthetonesofthatvoicewhentheywouldbelostonothers.Toogood,tooexcellentcreature!Youdousjustice,indeed.Youdobelievethatthereistrueattachmentandconstancyamongmen.Believeittobemostfervent,mostundeviating,in F.W. “Imustgo,uncertainofmyfatebutIshallreturnhither,orfollowyourparty,assoonaspossible.Aword,alook,willbeenoughtodecidewhetherIenteryourfather’shousethiseveningornever.” Suchaletterwasnottobesoonrecoveredfrom.Halfanhour’ssolitudeandreflectionmighthavetranquillizedherbutthetenminutesonlywhichnowpassedbeforeshewasinterrupted,withalltherestraintsofhersituation,coulddonothingtowardstranquillity.Everymomentratherbroughtfreshagitation.Itwasoverpoweringhappiness.Andbeforeshewasbeyondthefirststageoffullsensation,Charles,Mary,andHenriettaallcamein. Theabsolutenecessityofseeminglikeherselfproducedthenanimmediatestrugglebutafterawhileshecoulddonomore.Shebegannottounderstandawordtheysaid,andwasobligedtopleadindispositionandexcuseherself.Theycouldthenseethatshelookedveryill,wereshockedandconcerned,andwouldnotstirwithoutherfortheworld.Thiswasdreadful.Wouldtheyonlyhavegoneaway,andleftherinthequietpossessionofthatroomitwouldhavebeenhercurebuttohavethemallstandingorwaitingaroundherwasdistracting,andindesperation,shesaidshewouldgohome. “Byallmeans,mydear,”criedMrsMusgrove,“gohomedirectly,andtakecareofyourself,thatyoumaybefitfortheevening.IwishSarahwasheretodoctoryou,butIamnodoctormyself.Charles,ringandorderachair.Shemustnotwalk.” Butthechairwouldneverdo.Worsethanall!TolosethepossibilityofspeakingtwowordstoCaptainWentworthinthecourseofherquiet,solitaryprogressupthetown(andshefeltalmostcertainofmeetinghim)couldnotbeborne.Thechairwasearnestlyprotestedagainst,andMrsMusgrove,whothoughtonlyofonesortofillness,havingassuredherselfwithsomeanxiety,thattherehadbeennofallinthecasethatAnnehadnotatanytimelatelyslippeddown,andgotablowonherheadthatshewasperfectlyconvincedofhavinghadnofallcouldpartwithhercheerfully,anddependonfindingherbetteratnight. Anxioustoomitnopossibleprecaution,Annestruggled,andsaid— “Iamafraid,ma’am,thatitisnotperfectlyunderstood.Praybesogoodastomentiontotheothergentlementhatwehopetoseeyourwholepartythisevening.IamafraidtherehadbeensomemistakeandIwishyouparticularlytoassureCaptainHarvilleandCaptainWentworth,thatwehopetoseethemboth.” “Oh!mydear,itisquiteunderstood,Igiveyoumyword.CaptainHarvillehasnothoughtbutofgoing.” “Doyouthinkso?ButIamafraidandIshouldbesoverysorry.Willyoupromisemetomentionit,whenyouseethemagain?Youwillseethemboththismorning,Idaresay.Dopromiseme.” “TobesureIwill,ifyouwishit.Charles,ifyouseeCaptainHarvilleanywhere,remembertogiveMissAnne’smessage.Butindeed,mydear,youneednotbeuneasy.CaptainHarvilleholdshimselfquiteengaged,I’llanswerforitandCaptainWentworththesame,Idaresay.” Annecoulddonomorebutherheartprophesiedsomemischancetodamptheperfectionofherfelicity.Itcouldnotbeverylasting,however.EvenifhedidnotcometoCamdenPlacehimself,itwouldbeinherpowertosendanintelligiblesentencebyCaptainHarville.Anothermomentaryvexationoccurred.Charles,inhisrealconcernandgoodnature,wouldgohomewithhertherewasnopreventinghim.Thiswasalmostcruel.Butshecouldnotbelongungratefulhewassacrificinganengagementatagunsmith’s,tobeofusetoherandshesetoffwithhim,withnofeelingbutgratitudeapparent. TheywereonUnionStreet,whenaquickerstepbehind,asomethingoffamiliarsound,gavehertwomoments’preparationforthesightofCaptainWentworth.Hejoinedthembut,asifirresolutewhethertojoinortopasson,saidnothing,onlylooked.Annecouldcommandherselfenoughtoreceivethatlook,andnotrepulsively.Thecheekswhichhadbeenpalenowglowed,andthemovementswhichhadhesitatedweredecided.Hewalkedbyherside.Presently,struckbyasuddenthought,Charlessaid— “CaptainWentworth,whichwayareyougoing?OnlytoGayStreet,orfartherupthetown?” “Ihardlyknow,”repliedCaptainWentworth,surprised. “AreyougoingashighasBelmont?AreyougoingnearCamdenPlace?Because,ifyouare,Ishallhavenoscrupleinaskingyoutotakemyplace,andgiveAnneyourarmtoherfather’sdoor.Sheisratherdoneforthismorning,andmustnotgosofarwithouthelp,andIoughttobeatthatfellow’sintheMarketPlace.Hepromisedmethesightofacapitalgunheisjustgoingtosendoffsaidhewouldkeepitunpackedtothelastpossiblemoment,thatImightseeitandifIdonotturnbacknow,