CHAPTER XXIII.

s.Weliveathome,quiet,confined,andourfeelingspreyuponus.Youareforcedonexertion.Youhavealwaysaprofession,pursuits,businessofsomesortorother,totakeyoubackintotheworldimmediately,andcontinualoccupationandchangesoonweakenimpressions.” “Grantingyourassertionthattheworlddoesallthissosoonformen(which,however,IdonotthinkIshallgrant),itdoesnotapplytoBenwick.Hehasnotbeenforceduponanyexertion.Thepeaceturnedhimonshoreattheverymoment,andhehasbeenlivingwithus,inourlittlefamilycircle,eversince.” “True,”saidAnne,“verytrueIdidnotrecollectbutwhatshallwesaynow,CaptainHarville?Ifthechangebenotfromoutwardcircumstances,itmustbefromwithinitmustbenature,man’snature,whichhasdonethebusinessforCaptainBenwick.” “No,no,itisnotman’snature.Iwillnotallowittobemoreman’snaturethanwoman’stobeinconstantandforgetthosetheydolove,orhaveloved.Ibelievethereverse.Ibelieveinatrueanalogybetweenourbodilyframesandourmentalandthatasourbodiesarethestrongest,soareourfeelingscapableofbearingmostroughusage,andridingouttheheaviestweather.” “Yourfeelingsmaybethestrongest,”repliedAnne,“butthesamespiritofanalogywillauthorisemetoassertthatoursarethemosttender.Manismorerobustthanwoman,butheisnotlongerlivedwhichexactlyexplainsmyviewofthenatureoftheirattachments.Nay,itwouldbetooharduponyou,ifitwereotherwise.Youhavedifficulties,andprivations,anddangersenoughtostrugglewith.Youarealwayslabouringandtoiling,exposedtoeveryriskandhardship.Yourhome,country,friends,allquitted.Neithertime,norhealth,norlife,tobecalledyourown.Itwouldbehard,indeed”(withafalteringvoice),“ifwoman’sfeelingsweretobeaddedtoallthis.” “Weshallneveragreeuponthisquestion,”CaptainHarvillewasbeginningtosay,whenaslightnoisecalledtheirattentiontoCaptainWentworth’shithertoperfectlyquietdivisionoftheroom.ItwasnothingmorethanthathispenhadfallendownbutAnnewasstartledatfindinghimnearerthanshehadsupposed,andhalfinclinedtosuspectthatthepenhadonlyfallenbecausehehadbeenoccupiedbythem,strivingtocatchsounds,whichyetshedidnotthinkhecouldhavecaught. “Haveyoufinishedyourletter?”saidCaptainHarville. “Notquite,afewlinesmore.Ishallhavedoneinfiveminutes.” “Thereisnohurryonmyside.Iamonlyreadywheneveryouare.Iaminverygoodanchoragehere,”(smilingatAnne,)“wellsupplied,andwantfornothing.Nohurryforasignalatall.Well,MissElliot,”(loweringhisvoice,)“asIwassayingweshallneveragree,Isuppose,uponthispoint.Nomanandwoman,would,probably.Butletmeobservethatallhistoriesareagainstyou—allstories,proseandverse.IfIhadsuchamemoryasBenwick,Icouldbringyoufiftyquotationsinamomentonmysidetheargument,andIdonotthinkIeveropenedabookinmylifewhichhadnotsomethingtosayuponwoman’sinconstancy.Songsandproverbs,alltalkofwoman’sfickleness.Butperhapsyouwillsay,thesewereallwrittenbymen.” “PerhapsIshall.Yes,yes,ifyouplease,noreferencetoexamplesinbooks.Menhavehadeveryadvantageofusintellingtheirownstory.Educationhasbeentheirsinsomuchhigheradegreethepenhasbeenintheirhands.Iwillnotallowbookstoproveanything.” “Buthowshallweproveanything?” “Wenevershall.Wenevercanexpecttoproveanythinguponsuchapoint.Itisadifferenceofopinionwhichdoesnotadmitofproof.Weeachbegin,probably,withalittlebiastowardsourownsexanduponthatbiasbuildeverycircumstanceinfavourofitwhichhasoccurredwithinourowncirclemanyofwhichcircumstances(perhapsthoseverycaseswhichstrikeusthemost)maybepreciselysuchascannotbebroughtforwardwithoutbetrayingaconfidence,orinsomerespectsayingwhatshouldnotbesaid.” “Ah!”criedCaptainHarville,inatoneofstrongfeeling,“ifIcouldbutmakeyoucomprehendwhatamansufferswhenhetakesalastlookathiswifeandchildren,andwatchestheboatthathehassentthemoffin,aslongasitisinsight,andthenturnsawayandsays,‘Godknowswhetherweevermeetagain!’Andthen,ifIcouldconveytoyoutheglowofhissoulwhenhedoesseethemagainwhen,comingbackafteratwelvemonth’sabsence,perhaps,andobligedtoputintoanotherport,hecalculateshowsoonitbepossibletogetthemthere,pretendingtodeceivehimself,andsaying,‘Theycannotbeheretillsuchaday,’butallthewhilehopingforthemtwelvehourssooner,andseeingthemarriveatlast,asifHeavenhadgiventhemwings,bymanyhourssoonerstill!IfIcouldexplaintoyouallthis,andallthatamancanbearanddo,andgloriestodo,forthesakeofthesetreasuresofhisexistence!Ispeak,youknow,onlyofsuchmenashavehearts!”pressinghisownwithemotion. “Oh!”criedAnneeagerly,“IhopeIdojusticetoallthatisfeltbyyou,andbythosewhoresembleyou.GodforbidthatIshouldundervaluethewarmandfaithfulfeelingsofanyofmyfellow-creatures!IshoulddeserveuttercontemptifIdaredtosupposethattrueattachmentandconstancywereknownonlybywoman.No,Ibelieveyoucapableofeverythinggreatandgoodinyourmarriedlives.Ibelieveyouequaltoeveryimportantexertion,andtoeverydomesticforbearance,solongas—ifImaybeallowedtheexpression—solongasyouhaveanobject.Imeanwhilethewomanyoulovelives,andlivesforyou.AlltheprivilegeIclaimformyownsex(itisnotaveryenviableoneyouneednotcovetit),isthatoflovinglongest,whenexistenceorwhenhopeisgone.” Shecouldnotimmediatelyhaveutteredanothersentenceherheartwastoofull,herbreathtoomuchoppressed. “Youareagoodsoul,”criedCaptainHarville,puttinghishandonherarm,quiteaffectionately.“Thereisnoquarrellingwithyou.AndwhenIthinkofBenwick,mytongueistied.” Theirattentionwascalledtowardstheothers.MrsCroftwastakingleave. “Here,Frederick,youandIpartcompany,Ibelieve,”saidshe.“Iamgoinghome,andyouhaveanengagementwithyourfriend.To-nightwemayhavethepleasureofallmeetingagainatyourparty,”(turningtoAnne.)“Wehadyoursister’scardyesterday,andIunderstoodFrederickhadacardtoo,thoughIdidnotseeitandyouaredisengaged,Frederick,areyounot,aswellasourselves?” CaptainWentworthwasfoldingupaletteringreathaste,andeithercouldnotorwouldnotanswerfully. “Yes,”saidhe,“verytruehereweseparate,butHarvilleandIshallsoonbeafteryouthatis,Harville,ifyouareready,Iaminhalfaminute.Iknowyouwillnotbesorrytobeoff.Ishallbeatyourserviceinhalfaminute.” MrsCroftleftthem,andCaptainWentworth,havingsealedhisletterwithgreatrapidity,wasindeedready,andhadevenahurried,agitatedair,whichshewedimpatiencetobegone.Anneknewnothowtounderstandit.Shehadthekindest“Goodmorning,Godblessyou!”fromCaptainHarville,but