Chapter XXVII

oughtnothingpleasedyoumorethantohearhowmuchwealllikedyourhusband.” “Oh,mygooddoctor,youmustbeblindoranutterfool.IthoughteveryoneknewbynowthatIloathemyhusband.” “What?”shoutedDr.RamsaythenthinkingBerthawasunwell:“Come,come,Iseeyouwantalittlemedicine,mydear.You’reoutofsorts,andlikeallwomenyouthinktheworldisconsequentlycomingtoanend.” Berthasprangfromthesofa.“D’youthinkIshouldspeaklikethisifIhadn’tgoodcause?Don’tyouthinkI’dconcealmyhumiliationifIcould?Oh,I’vehiddenitlongenoughnowImustspeak.OhGod,IcanhardlyhelpscreamingwithpainwhenIthinkofallI’vesufferedandhidden.I’veneversaidawordtoanyonebutyou,andnowIcan’thelpit.ItellyouIloatheandabhormyhusbandandIutterlydespisehim.Ican’tlivewithhimanymore,andIwanttogoaway.” Dr.RamsayopenedhismouthandfellbackinhischairhelookedatBerthaasifheexpectedhertohaveafit.“You’renotserious?” Berthastampedherfootimpatiently.“OfcourseI’mserious.DoyouthinkI’mafooltoo?We’vebeenmiserableforyears,anditcan’tgoon.IfyouknewwhatI’vehadtosufferwheneveryonehascongratulatedme,andsaidhowpleasedtheyweretoseemesohappy.SometimesI’vehadtodigmynailsinmyhandstopreventmyselffromcryingoutthetruth.” Berthawalkedupanddowntheroom,lettingherselfgoatlast.Thetearswerestreamingdownhercheeks,butshetooknonoticeofthem.Shewasgivingfullventtoherpassionatehatred. “Oh,I’vetriedtolovehim.YouknowhowIlovedhimonce—howIadoredhim.Iwouldhavelaiddownmylifeforhimwithpleasure.IwouldhavedoneanythingheaskedmeIusedtosearchforthesmallestindicationofhiswishessothatImightcarrythemout.ItoverjoyedmetothinkthatIwashisabjectslave.Buthe’sdestroyedeveryvestigeofmylove,andnowIonlydespisehim,Iutterlydespisehim.Oh,I’vetriedtolovehim,buthe’stoogreatafool.” ThelastwordsBerthasaidwithsuchforcethatDr.Ramsaywasstartled. “MydearBertha!” “Oh,Iknowyouallthinkhimwonderful.I’vehadhispraisesthrownatmeforyears.Butyoudon’tknowwhatamanreallyistillyou’velivedwithhim,tillyou’veseenhimineverymoodandineverycircumstance.Iknowhimthroughandthrough,andhe’safool.Youcan’tconceivehowstupid,howutterlybrainlessheis....Heboresmetodeath!” “Comenow,youdon’tmeanwhatyousay.You’reexaggeratingasusual.Youmustexpecttohavelittlequarrelsnowandthenuponmyword,Ithinkittookmetwentyyearstogetusedtomywife.” “Oh,forGod’ssake,don’tbesententious,”Berthainterrupted,fiercely.“I’vehadenoughmoralisinginthesefiveyears.ImighthavelovedEdwardbetterifhehadn’tbeensomoral.He’sthrownhisvirtuesinmyfacetillI’msickofthem.He’smadeeverygoodnessuglytome,tillIsighforvicejustforachange.Oh,youcan’timaginehowfrightfullydullisareallygoodman.NowIwanttobefree,ItellyouIcan’tstanditanymore.” Berthaagainwalkedupanddowntheroomexcitedly. “Uponmyword,”criedDr.Ramsay,“Ican’tmakeheadortailofit.” “Ididn’texpectyouwould.Iknewyou’donlymoralise.” “Whatd’youwantmetodo?ShallIspeaktohim?” “No!No!I’vespokentohimendlessly.It’snogood.D’yousupposeyourspeakingtohimwillmakehimloveme?He’sincapableofitallhecangivemeisesteemandaf