Chapter XX

BUTthelovewhichhadtakensuchdespoticpossessionofBertha’snaturecouldnotbeoverthrownbyanysuddenmeans.Whensherecoveredherhealthandwasabletoresumeherhabits,itblazedoutagainlikeafire,momentarilysubdued,whichhasgainednewstrengthinitscoercion.ItdismayedhertothinkofherextremelonelinessEdwardwasnowheronlymainstayandheronlyhope.Shenolongersoughttodenythathislovewasunlikehersbuthiscoldnesswasnotalwaysapparentvehementlywishingtofindaresponsetoherardour,sheclosedhereyestoallthatdidnottooreadilyobtrudeitself.ShehadsuchaconsumingdesiretofindinEdwardtheloverofherdreams,thatforcertainperiodsshewasindeedabletoliveinafool’sparadise,whichwasnonethelessgratefulbecauseatthebottomofherheartshehadanachingsuspicionofitstruecharacter. ButitseemedthatthemorepassionatelyBerthayearnedforherhusband’slove,themorefrequentbecametheirdifferences.Astimewentonthecalmbetweenthestormswasshorter,andeveryquarrelleftitsmark,andmadeBerthamoresusceptibletoaffront.Realizing,finally,thatEdwardcouldnotanswerherdemonstrationsofaffection,shebecametentimesmoreexactingeventhelittletendernesseswhichatthebeginningofhermarriedlifewouldhaveoverjoyedher,nowtoomuchresembledalmsthrowntoanimportunatebeggar,tobereceivedwithanythingbutirritation.Theiraltercationsprovedconclusivelythatitdoesnotrequiretwopersonstomakeaquarrel.Edwardwasamodelofgood-temper,andhisequanimitywasimperturbable.HowevercrossBerthawas,Edwardneverlosthisserenity.Heimaginedthatshewastroublingoverthelossofherchild,andthatherhealthwasnotentirelyrestored:ithadbeenhisexperience,especiallywithcows,thatadifficultconfinementfrequentlygaverisetosometemporarychangeindisposition,sothatthemostdocileanimalintheworldwouldsuddenlydevelopanunexpectedviciousness.HenevertriedtounderstandBertha’svariedmoodsherpassionatedesireforlovewastohimasunreasonableasheroutburstsoftemperandthesucceedingcontrition.Now,Edwardwasalwaysthesame—contentedequallywiththeuniverseatlargeandwithhimselftherewasnoshadowofadoubtaboutthefactthattheworldhelivedin,theparticularspotandperiod,weretheverybestpossibleandthatnoexistencecouldbemoresatisfactorythanhappilytocultivateone’sgarden.Notbeinganalytic,heforboretothinkaboutthematterandifhehad,wouldnothaveborrowedthephrasesofM.deVoltaire,whomhehadneverheardof,andwouldhaveutterlyabhorredasaFrenchman,aphilosopher,andawit.ButthefactthatEdwardate,drank,slept,andateagain,asregularlyastheoxenonhisfarm,sufficientlyprovedthatheenjoyedahappinessequaltotheirs—andwhatmorecanadecentmanwant? Edwardhadmoreoverthatmagnificentfacultyofalwaysdoingrightandofknowingit,whichissaidtobethemostinestimablegiftofthetrueChristianbutifhisinfallibilitypleasedhimselfandedifiedhisneighbours,itdidnotfailtocausehiswifetheutmostannoyance.Shewouldclenchherhandsandfromh