Chapter XIX

BUTtheapathywithwhichforweeksBerthahadlookeduponallterrestrialconcernswaspassingawaybeforeherincreasingstrength.Ithadbeendueonlytoanutterphysicalweakness,ofthesameorderasthatmercifulindifferencetoallearthlysympathieswhichgiveseasetothefinalpassageintotheUnknown.Theprospectofdeathwouldbeunendurableifonedidnotknowthattheenfeebledbodybroughtalikeenfeeblementofspirit,dissolvingthetiesofthisworld:whenthetravellermustleavethehostelwiththedoublegate,thewinehelovedhaslostitssavourandthebreadturnedbitterinhismouth.Likeuselessgauds,Berthahadletfalltheinterestsoflifehersoullaya-dying.Hersoulwasalightedcandleinalantern,flickeringinthewindsothatitsflamewashardlyseenandthelanternwasuselessbutpresentlythewindofdeathwasstilled,andthelightshoneoutandfilledthedarkness. Withincreasingstrengththeoldpassionreturnedlovecamebacklikeaconqueror,andBerthaknewthatshehadnotdonewithlife.InherlonelinesssheyearnedforEdward’saffectionfornowhewasallshehad,andshestretchedoutherarmstohimwithagreatdesire.Sheblamedherselfbitterlyforhercoldness,sheweptattheideaofwhathemusthavesuffered.Andshewasashamedthatthelovewhichshehadthoughteternal,shouldhavebeenforawhiledestroyed.Butachangehadcomeoverher.Shedidnotnowloveherhusbandwiththeoldblindpassion,butwithanewfeelingaddedtoitfortohimwastransferredthetendernesswhichshehadlavishedonherdeadchild,andallthemother’sspiritwhichmustnow,toherlife’send,gounsatisfied.Herheartwaslikeahousewithemptychambers,andthefiresofloveragedthroughthemtriumphantly. BerthathoughtalittlepainfullyofMissGlover,butdismissedherwithashrugoftheshoulders.ThegoodcreaturehadkeptherresolveneveragaintocomenearCourtLeys,andfordaysnothinghadbeenheardofher. “Whatdoesitmatter?”criedBertha.“SolongasEddielovesme,therestoftheworldisnothing.” Butherroomgainednowtheaspectofaprison,sothatshefeltitimpossiblemuchlongertoendureitsdreadfulmonotony.Herbedwasabedoftorture,andshefanciedthatsolongassheremainedstretcheduponit,healthwouldnotreturn.ShebeggedDr.Ramsaytoallowhertogetup,butwasalwaysmetwiththesamerefusal,backedupbyherhusband’scommonsense.Allsheobtainedwasthedismissalofthenursetowhomshehadtakenasuddenandviolentdislike.Fromnoreasonablecause,Berthafoundthemerepresenceofthepoorwomanunendurable,andherofficiousloquacityirritatedherbeyondmeasure.Ifshemustremaininbed,Berthapreferredabsolutesolitudetheturnofhermindwasbecomingalmostmisanthropic. Thehourspassedendlessly.FromherpillowBerthacouldseeonlythesky,nowametallicbluewithdazzlingcloudsswayingheavilyacross,nowgray,darkeningtheroom.Thefurnitureandthewall-paperforcedthemselvesdistastefullyonhermind.Everydetailwasimpressedonherconsciousnessasindeliblyasthepot