Chapter XX

ereyesshootarrowsoffire,whenhestoodinfrontofher,smilinglyconsciousofthejusticeofhisownstandpointandtheunreasonofhers.AndtheworstofitwasthatinhersanermomentsBerthahadtoconfessthatEdward’sviewwasinvariablyrightandshecompletelyinthewrong.Herinjusticeappalledher,andshetookuponherownshoulderstheblameofalltheirunhappiness.Always,afteraquarrelfromwhichEdwardhadcomewithhisusualtriumph,Bertha’sragewouldbesucceededbyapassionofremorseandshecouldnotfindsufficientreproacheswithwhichtocastigateherself.Sheaskedfranticallyhowherhusbandcouldbeexpectedtoloveherandinatransportofagonyandfearwouldtakethefirstopportunityofthrowingherarmsaroundhisneckandmakingthemostabjectapology.Then,havingeatenthedustbeforehim,havingweptandhumiliatedherself,shewouldbeforaweekabsurdlyhappy,undertheimpressionthathenceforwardnothingshortofanearthquakecoulddisturbtheirblissfulequilibrium.Edwardwasagainthegoldenidol,clothedinthediaphanousgarmentsoftruelove,hiswordwaslawandhisdeedswereperfectBerthawasanhumbleworshipper,offeringincenseanddevoutlygratefultothedeitythatforboretocrushher.Itrequiredverylittleforhertoforgettheslightsandthecoldnessofherhusband’saffection:herlovewaslikethetidecoveringabarrenrocktheseabreaksintowavesandisdispersedinfoam,whiletherockremainseverunchanged.Thissimile,bytheway,wouldnothavedispleasedEdwardwhenhethoughtatall,helikedtothinkhowfirmandsteadfasthewas. Atnight,beforegoingtosleep,itwasBertha’sgreatestpleasuretokissherhusbandonthelips,anditmortifiedhertoseehowmechanicallyherepliedtothisembrace.Itwasalwaysshewhohadtomaketheadvance,andwhen,totryhim,sheomittedtodoso,hepromptlywentofftosleepwithoutevenbiddinghergood-night.Thenshetoldherselfthathemustutterlydespiseher. “Oh,itdrivesmemadtothinkofthedevotionIwasteonyou,”shecried.“I’mafool!Youareallintheworldtome,andI,toyou,amasortofaccident:youmighthavemarriedanyonebutme.IfIhadn’tcomeacrossyourpathyouwouldinfalliblyhavemarriedsomebodyelse.” “Well,sowouldyou,”heanswered,laughing. “I?Never!IfIhadnotmetyouIshouldhavemarriednoone.Myloveisn’tabaublethatIamwillingtogivetowhomeverchancethrowsinmyway.Myheartisoneandindivisibleitwouldbeimpossibleformetoloveanyonebutyou....WhenIthinkthattoyouI’mnothingmorethananyotherwomanmightbe,I’mashamed.” “Youdotalkthemostawfulrotsometimes.” “Ah,thatsummarisesyourwholeopinion.ToyouI’mmerelyafoolofawoman.I’madomesticanimal,alittlemorecompanionablethanadog,butonthewhole,notsousefulasacow.” “Idon’tknowwhatyouwantmetodomorethanIactuallydo.Youcan’texpectmetobekissingandcuddlingallthetime.Thehoneymoonismeantforthat,andamanwhogoesonhoneymooningallhislife,isanass.” “Ahyes,withyouloveiskeptoutofsightallday,whileyouareoccupiedwiththeseriousaffairsoflife,suchasshearingsheeporhuntingfoxesandafterdinneri