CHAPTER XLIV

etheygetonprettywelltogether.IdinedtwiceinWimpoleStreet,andmighthavebeenthereoftener,butitismortifyingtobewithRushworthasabrother.JuliaseemstoenjoyLondonexceedingly.Ihadlittleenjoymentthere,buthavelesshere.Wearenotalivelyparty.Youareverymuchwanted.ImissyoumorethanIcanexpress.Mymotherdesiresherbestlove,andhopestohearfromyousoon.Shetalksofyoualmosteveryhour,andIamsorrytofindhowmanyweeksmoresheislikelytobewithoutyou.Myfathermeanstofetchyouhimself,butitwillnotbetillafterEaster,whenhehasbusinessintown.YouarehappyatPortsmouth,Ihope,butthismustnotbeayearlyvisit.Iwantyouathome,thatImayhaveyouropinionaboutThorntonLacey.IhavelittleheartforextensiveimprovementstillIknowthatitwilleverhaveamistress.IthinkIshallcertainlywrite.ItisquitesettledthattheGrantsgotoBaththeyleaveMansfieldonMonday.Iamgladofit.IamnotcomfortableenoughtobefitforanybodybutyourauntseemstofeeloutofluckthatsuchanarticleofMansfieldnewsshouldfalltomypeninsteadofhers.—Yoursever,mydearestFanny.” “Ineverwill,no,Icertainlyneverwillwishforaletteragain,”wasFanny’ssecretdeclarationasshefinishedthis.“Whatdotheybringbutdisappointmentandsorrow?NottillafterEaster!HowshallIbearit?Andmypooraunttalkingofmeeveryhour!” Fannycheckedthetendencyofthesethoughtsaswellasshecould,butshewaswithinhalfaminuteofstartingtheideathatSirThomaswasquiteunkind,bothtoherauntandtoherself.Asforthemainsubjectoftheletter,therewasnothinginthattosootheirritation.ShewasalmostvexedintodispleasureandangeragainstEdmund.“Thereisnogoodinthisdelay,”saidshe.“Whyisnotitsettled?Heisblinded,andnothingwillopenhiseyesnothingcan,afterhavinghadtruthsbeforehimsolonginvain.Hewillmarryher,andbepoorandmiserable.Godgrantthatherinfluencedonotmakehimceasetoberespectable!”Shelookedovertheletteragain.“‘Soveryfondofme!’’tisnonsenseall.Shelovesnobodybutherselfandherbrother.Herfriendsleadingherastrayforyears!Sheisquiteaslikelytohaveledthemastray.Theyhaveall,perhaps,beencorruptingoneanotherbutiftheyaresomuchfonderofherthansheisofthem,sheisthelesslikelytohavebeenhurt,exceptbytheirflattery.‘Theonlywomanintheworldwhomhecouldeverthinkofasawife.’Ifirmlybelieveit.Itisanattachmenttogovernhiswholelife.Acceptedorrefused,hisheartisweddedtoherforever.‘ThelossofMaryImustconsiderascomprehendingthelossofCrawfordandFanny.’Edmund,youdonotknowme.Thefamilieswouldneverbeconnectedifyoudidnotconnectthem!Oh!write,write.Finishitatonce.Lettherebeanendofthissuspense.Fix,commit,condemnyourself.” Suchsensations,however,weretoonearakintoresentmenttobelongguidingFanny’ssoliloquies.Shewassoonmoresoftenedandsorrowful.Hiswarmregard,hiskindexpressions,hisconfidentialtreatment,touchedherstrongly.Hewasonlytoogoodtoeverybody.Itwasaletter,inshort,whichshewouldnotbuthavehadfortheworld,andwhichcouldneverbevaluedenough.Thiswastheendofit. Everybodyatalladdictedtoletter-writing,withouthavingmuchtosay,whichwillincludealargeproportionofthefemaleworldatleast,mustfeelwithLadyB