Chapter 5. BOFFIN’S BOWER

ialexpounderofmysteries.Itdidnotmovehimtocommercialgreatness,butrathertolittleness,insomuchthatifithadbeenwithinthepossibilitiesofthingsforthewoodenmeasuretoholdfewernutsthanusual,itwouldhavedonesothatday.But,whennightcame,andwithherveiledeyesbeheldhimstumpingtowardsBoffin’sBower,hewaselatedtoo. TheBowerwasasdifficulttofind,asFairRosamond’swithouttheclue.MrWegg,havingreachedthequarterindicated,inquiredfortheBowerhalfadozentimeswithouttheleastsuccess,untilherememberedtoaskforHarmonyJail.Thisoccasionedaquickchangeinthespiritsofahoarsegentlemanandadonkey,whomhehadmuchperplexed. ‘Why,yermeanOldHarmon’s,doyer?’saidthehoarsegentleman,whowasdrivinghisdonkeyinatruck,withacarrotforawhip.‘Whydidn’tyerniversayso?Eddardandmeisagoin’byHim!Jumpin.’ MrWeggcomplied,andthehoarsegentlemaninvitedhisattentiontothethirdpersonincompany,thus ‘Now,youlookatEddard’sears.Whatwasitasyounamed,agin?Whisper.’ MrWeggwhispered,‘Boffin’sBower.’ ‘Eddard!(keepyerhionhisears)cutawaytoBoffin’sBower!’ Edward,withhisearslyingback,remainedimmoveable. ‘Eddard!(keepyerhionhisears)cutawaytoOldHarmon’s.’Edwardinstantlyprickeduphisearstotheirutmost,andrattledoffatsuchapacethatMrWegg’sconversationwasjoltedoutofhiminamostdislocatedstate. ‘Was-it-Ev-verajail?’askedMrWegg,holdingon. ‘Notaproperjail,wotyouandmewouldgetcommittedto,’returnedhisescort‘theygiv’itthename,onaccountsofOldHarmonlivingsolitarythere.’ ‘And-why-did-they-callitharm-Ony?’askedWegg. ‘Onaccountsofhisneveragreeingwithnobody.Likeaspeechesofchaff.Harmon’sJailHarmonyJail.Workingitroundlike.’ ‘Doyouknow-Mist-Erboff-in?’askedWegg. ‘Ishouldthinkso!Everybodydoabouthere.Eddardknowshim.(Keepyerhionhisears.)NoddyBoffin,Eddard!’ Theeffectofthenamewassoveryalarming,inrespectofcausingatemporarydisappearanceofEdward’shead,castinghishindhoofsintheair,greatlyacceleratingthepaceandincreasingthejolting,thatMrWeggwasfaintodevotehisattentionexclusivelytoholdingon,andtorelinquishhisdesireofascertainingwhetherthishomagetoBoffinwastobeconsideredcomplimentaryorthereverse. Presently,Edwardstoppedatagateway,andWeggdiscreetlylostnotimeinslippingoutatthebackofthetruck.Themomenthewaslanded,hislatedriverwithawaveofthecarrot,said‘Supper,Eddard!’andhe,thehindhoofs,thetruck,andEdward,allseemedtoflyintotheairtogether,inakindofapotheosis. Pushingthegate,whichstoodajar,Wegglookedintoanenclosedspacewherecertaintalldarkmoundsrosehighagainstthesky,andwherethepathwaytotheBowerwasindicated,asthemoonlightshowed,betweentwolinesofbrokencrockerysetinashes.Awhitefigureadvancingalongthispath,provedtobenothingmoreghostlythanMrBoffin,easilyattiredforthepursuitofknowledge,inanundressgarmentofshortwhitesmock-frock.Havingreceivedhisliteraryfriendwithgreatcordiality,heconductedhimtotheinterioroftheBowerandtherepresentedhimtoMrsBoffin:—astoutladyofarubicundandcheerfulaspect,dressed(toMrWegg’sconsternation)inalowevening-dressofsablesatin,andalargeblackvelvethatandfeathers. ‘MrsBoffin,Wegg,’saidBoffin,‘isahighflyeratFashion.Andhermakeissuch,thatshedoesitcredit.AstomyselfIain’tyetasFash’nableasImaycometobe.Henerietty,oldlady,thisisthegentlemanthat’sagoingtodeclineandfallofftheRooshanEmpire.’ ‘AndIamsureIhopeit’lldoyoubothgood,’saidMrsBoffin. Itwasthequeerestofrooms,fittedandfurnishedmorelikealuxuriousamateurtap-roomthananythingelsewithinthekenofSilasWegg.Thereweretwowoodensettlesbythefire,oneoneithersideofit,withacorrespondingtablebeforeeach.Ononeofthesetables,theeightvolumeswererangedflat,inarow,likeagalvanicbatteryontheother,certainsquatcase-bottlesofinvitingappearanceseemedtostandontiptoetoexchangeglanceswithMrWeggoverafrontrowoftumblersandabasinofwhitesugar.Onthehob,akettlesteamedonthehearth,acatreposed.Facingthefirebetweenthesettles,asofa,afootstool,andalittletable,formedacentrepiecedevotedtoMrsBoffin.Theyweregarishintasteandcolour,butwereexpensivearticlesofdrawing-roomfurniturethathadaveryoddlookbesidethesettlesandtheflaringgaslightpendentfromtheceiling.Therewasaflowerycarpetonthefloorbut,insteadofreachingtothefireside,itsglowingvegetationstoppedshortatMrsBoffin’sfootstool,andgaveplacetoaregionofsandandsawdust.MrWeggalsonoticed,withadmiringeyes,that,whiletheflowerylanddisplayedsuchhollowornamentationasstuffedbirdsandwaxenfruitsunderglass-shades,therewere,intheterritorywherevegetationceased,compensatoryshelvesonwhichthebestpartofalargepieandlikewiseofacoldjointwereplainlydiscernibleamongothersolids.Theroomitselfwaslarge,thoughlowandtheheavyframesofitsold-fashionedwindows,andtheheavybeamsinitscrookedceiling,seemedtoindicatethatithadoncebeenahouseofsomemarkstandingaloneinthecountry. ‘Doyoulikeit,Wegg?’askedMrBoffin,inhispouncingmanner. ‘Iadmireitgreatly,sir,’saidWegg.‘Peculiarcomfortatthisfireside,sir.’ ‘Doyouunderstandit,Wegg?’ ‘Why,inageneralway,sir,’MrWeggwasbeginningslowlyandknowingly,withhisheadstuckononeside,asevasivepeopledobegin,whentheothercuthimshort: ‘Youdon’tunderstandit,Wegg,andI’llexplainit.ThesearrangementsismadebymutualconsentbetweenMrsBoffinandme.MrsBoffin,asI’vementioned,isahighflyeratFashionatpresentI’mnot.Idon’tgohigherthancomfort,andcomfortofthesortthatI’mequaltotheenjoymentof.Wellthen.WherewouldbethegoodofMrsBoffinandmequarrellingoverit?Weneverdidquarrel,beforewecomeintoBoffin’sBowerasapropertywhyquarrelwhenwehavecomeintoBoffin’sBowerasaproperty?SoMrsBoffin,shekeepsupherpartoftheroom,inherwayIkeepupmypartoftheroominmine.Inconsequenceofwhichwehaveatonce,Sociability(IshouldgomelancholymadwithoutMrsBoffin),Fashion,andComfort.IfIgetbydegreestobeahigher-flyeratFashion,thenMrsBoffinwillbydegreescomefor’arder.IfMrsBoffinshouldeverbelessofadabatFashionthansheisatthepresenttime,thenMrsBoffin’scarpetwouldgoback’arder.Ifweshouldbothcontinnyasweare,whythenhereweare,andgiveusakiss,oldlady.’ MrsBoffinwho,perpetuallysmiling,hadapproachedanddrawnherplumparmthroughherlord’s,mostwillinglycomplied.Fashion,intheformofherblackvelvethatandfeathers,triedtopreventitbutgotdeservedlycrushedintheendeavour. ‘Sonow,Wegg,’saidMrBoffin,wipinghismouthwithanairofmuchrefreshment,‘youbegintoknowusasweare.Thisisacharmingspot,istheBower,butyoumustgettoapprechiateitbydegrees.It’saspottofindoutthemeritsoflittlebylittle,andanew’uneveryday.There’saserpentiningwa