CHAPTER X. OLD MAIDS.
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ythinghumblerorweakerthanhimselfbuthehadonceortwicehappenedtobeintheroomwhenMissMannhadmadeacallonhissister,andafterlisteningtoherconversationandviewingherfeaturesforatime,hehadgoneoutintothegardenwherehislittlecousinwastendingsomeofhisfavouriteflowers,andwhilestandingnearandwatchingherhehadamusedhimselfwithcomparingfairyouth,delicateandattractive,withshrivelledeld,lividandloveless,andinjestinglyrepeatingtoasmilinggirlthevinegardiscourseofacankeredoldmaid.OnceonsuchanoccasionCarolinehadsaidtohim,lookingupfromtheluxuriantcreepershewasbindingtoitsframe,"Ah!Robert,youdonotlikeoldmaids.I,too,shouldcomeunderthelashofyoursarcasmifIwereanoldmaid."
"Youanoldmaid!"hehadreplied."Apiquantnotionsuggestedbylipsofthattintandform.Icanfancyyou,though,atforty,quietlydressed,paleandsunk,butstillwiththatstraightnose,whiteforehead,andthosesofteyes.Isuppose,too,youwillkeepyourvoice,whichhasanother'timbre'thanthathard,deeporganofMissMann's.Courage,Cary!Evenatfiftyyouwillnotberepulsive."
"MissManndidnotmakeherself,ortunehervoice,Robert."
"NaturemadeherinthemoodinwhichshemakesherbriarsandthornswhereasforthecreationofsomewomenshereservestheMaymorninghours,whenwithlightanddewshewooestheprimrosefromtheturfandthelilyfromthewood-moss."
UsheredintoMissMann'slittleparlour,Carolinefoundher,asshealwaysfoundher,surroundedbyperfectneatness,cleanliness,andcomfort(afterall,isitnotavirtueinoldmaidsthatsolituderarelymakesthemnegligentordisorderly?)—nodustonherpolishedfurniture,noneonhercarpet,freshflowersinthevaseonhertable,abrightfireinthegrate.Sheherselfsatprimlyandsomewhatgrimly-tidyinacushionedrocking-chair,herhandsbusiedwithsomeknitting.Thiswasherfavouritework,asitrequiredtheleastexertion.ShescarcelyroseasCarolineentered.ToavoidexcitementwasoneofMissMann'saimsinlife.Shehadbeencomposingherselfeversinceshecamedowninthemorning,andhadjustattainedacertainlethargicstateoftranquillitywhenthevisitor'sknockatthedoorstartledher,andundidherday'swork.Shewasscarcelypleased,therefore,toseeMissHelstone.Shereceivedherwithreserve,badeherbeseatedwithausterity,andwhenshegotherplacedopposite,shefixedherwithhereye.
Thiswasnoordinarydoom—tobefixedwithMissMann'seye.RobertMoorehadundergoneitonce,andhadneverforgottenthecircumstance.
HeconsidereditquiteequaltoanythingMedusacoulddo.Heprofessedtodoubtwhether,sincethatinfliction,hisfleshhadbeenquitewhatitwasbefore—whethertherewasnotsomethingstonyinitstexture.Thegazehadhadsuchaneffectonhimastodrivehimpromptlyfromtheapartmentandhouseithadevensenthimstraightwayuptotherectory,wherehehadappearedinCaroline'spresencewithaveryqueerface,andamazedherbydemandingacousinlysaluteonthespot,torectifyadamagethathadbeendonehim.
CertainlyMissMannhadaformidableeyeforoneofthesoftersex.Itwasprominent,andshowedagreatdealofthewhite,andlookedassteadily,asunwinkingly,atyouasifitwereasteelballsolderedinherheadandwhen,whilelooking,shebegantotalkinanindescribablydry,monotonoustone—atonewithoutvibrationorinflection—youfeltasifagravenimageofsomebadspiritwereaddressingyou.Butitwasallafigmentoffancy,amatterofsurface.MissMann'sgoblingrimnessscarcelywentdeeperthantheangelsweetnessofhundredsofbeauties.Shewasaperfectlyhonest,conscientiouswoman,whohadperformeddutiesinherdayfromwhosesevereanguishmanyahumanPeri,gazelle-eyed,silken-tressed,andsilver-tongued,wouldhaveshrunkappalled.Shehadpassedalonethroughprotractedscenesofsuffering,exercisedrigidself-denial,madelargesacrificesoftime,money,healthforthosewhohadrepaidheronlybyingratitude,andnowhermain—almosthersole—faultwasthatshewascensorious.
Censoriousshecertainlywas.Carolinehadnotsatfiveminutesereherhostess,stillkeepingherunderthespellofthatdreadandGorgongaze,beganflayingalivecertainofthefamiliesintheneighbourhood.Shewenttoworkatthisbusinessinasingularlycool,deliberatemanner,likesomesurgeonpractisingwithhisscalpelonalifelesssubject.Shemadefewdistinctionssheallowedscarcelyanyonetobegoodshedissectedimpartiallyalmostallheracquaintance.Ifherauditressventurednowandthentoputinapalliativewordshesetitasidewithacertaindisdain.Still,thoughthuspitilessinmoralanatomy,shewasnoscandal-monger.Sheneverdisseminatedreallymalignantordangerousreports.Itwasnotherheartsomuchashertemperthatwaswrong.
Carolinemadethisdiscoveryforthefirsttimeto-day,andmovedtherebytoregretdiversunjustjudgmentsshehadmorethanoncepassedonthecrabbedoldmaid,shebegantotalktohersoftly,notinsympathizingwords,butwithasympathizingvoice.Thelonelinessofherconditionstruckhervisitorinanewlight,asdidalsothecharacterofherugliness—abloodlesspallorofcomplexion,anddeeplywornlinesoffeature.Thegirlpitiedthesolitaryandafflictedwomanherlookstoldwhatshefelt.Asweetcountenanceisneversosweetaswhenthemovedheartanimatesitwithcompassionatetenderness.MissMann,seeingsuchacountenanceraisedtoher,wastouchedinherturn.Sheacknowledgedhersenseoftheinterestthusunexpectedlyshowninher,whousuallymetwithonlycoldnessandridicule,byreplyingtohercandidly.Communicativeonherownaffairssheusuallywasnot,becausenoonecaredtolistentoherbutto-dayshebecameso,andherconfidanteshedtearsassheheardherspeak,forshetoldofcruel,slow-wasting,obstinatesufferings.Wellmightshebecorpse-likewellmightshelookgrim,andneversmilewellmightshewishtoavoidexcitement,togainandretaincomposure!Caroline,whensheknewall,acknowledgedthatMissMannwasrathertobeadmiredforfortitudethanblamedformoroseness.Reader!whenyoubeholdanaspectforwhoseconstantgloomandfrownyoucannotaccount,whoseunvaryingcloudexasperatesyoubyitsapparentcauselessness,besurethatthereisacankersomewhere,andacankernotthelessdeeplycorrodingbecauseconcealed.
MissMannfeltthatshewasunderstoodpartly,andwishedtobeunderstoodfurtherfor,howeverold,plain,humble,desolate,afflictedwemaybe,solongasourheartspreservethefeeblestsparkoflife,theypreservealso,shiveringnearthatpaleember,astarved,ghostlylongingforappreciationandaffection.Tothisextenuatedspectre,perhaps,acrumbisnotthrownonceayear,butwhenahungeredandathirsttofamine—whenallhumanityhasforgottenthedyingtenantofadecayinghouse—Divinemercyremembersthemourner,andashowerofmannafallsforlipsthatearthlynutrimentistopassnomore.Biblicalpromises,heardfirstinhealth,butthenunheeded,comewhisperingtothecouchofsicknessitisfeltthatapityingGodwatcheswhatallmankindhaveforsaken.ThetendercompassionofJesusisrecalledandreliedonthefadedeye,gazingbeyondtime,seesahome,afriend,arefugeineternity.
MissMann,drawnonbythestillattentionofherlistener,proceededtoalludetocircumstancesinherpastlife.Shespokelikeonewhotellsthetruth—simply,andwithacertainreserveshedidnotboast,nordidsheexaggerate.Carolinefoundthattheoldmaidhadbeenamostdevoteddaughterandsister,anunweariedwatcherbylin