CHAPTER XXI. THE SCHOOL

wasmymotherlookingon,andwishfultoknowwhatnewsitcontainedsoIreaditanddeliveredittoher,andthenwentintotheschoolroomtoattendtothepupils:butamidstthecaresofcopiesandsums—intheintervalsofcorrectingerrorshere,andreprovingderelictionsofdutythere,Iwasinwardlytakingmyselftotaskwithfarsternerseverity.“Whatafoolyoumustbe,”saidmyheadtomyheart,ormysternertomysofterself—“howcouldyoueverdreamthathewouldwritetoyou?Whatgroundshaveyouforsuchahope—orthathewillseeyou,orgivehimselfanytroubleaboutyou—oreventhinkofyouagain?”“Whatgrounds?”—andthenHopesetbeforemethatlast,shortinterview,andrepeatedthewordsIhadsofaithfullytreasuredinmymemory.“Well,andwhatwasthereinthat?—Whoeverhunghishopesuponsofrailatwig?Whatwasthereinthosewordsthatanycommonacquaintancemightnotsaytoanother?Ofcourse,itwaspossibleyoumightmeetagain:hemighthavesaidsoifyouhadbeengoingtoNewZealandbutthatdidnotimplyanyintentionofseeingyou—andthen,astothequestionthatfollowed,anyonemightaskthat:andhowdidyouanswer?—Merelywithastupid,commonplacereply,suchasyouwouldhavegiventoMasterMurray,oranyoneelseyouhadbeenontolerablyciviltermswith.”“But,then,”persistedHope,“thetoneandmannerinwhichhespoke.”“Oh,thatisnonsense!healwaysspeaksimpressivelyandatthatmomentthereweretheGreensandMissMatildaMurrayjustbefore,andotherpeoplepassingby,andhewasobligedtostandclosebesideyou,andtospeakverylow,unlesshewishedeverybodytohearwhathesaid,which—thoughitwasnothingatallparticular—ofcourse,hewouldrathernot.”Butthen,aboveall,thatemphatic,yetgentlepressureofthehand,whichseemedtosay,“Trustme”andmanyotherthingsbesides—toodelightful,almosttooflattering,toberepeatedeventoone’sself.“Egregiousfolly—tooabsurdtorequirecontradiction—mereinventionsoftheimagination,whichyououghttobeashamedof.Ifyouwouldbutconsideryourownunattractiveexterior,yourunamiablereserve,yourfoolishdiffidence—whichmustmakeyouappearcold,dull,awkward,andperhapsill-temperedtoo—ifyouhadbutrightlyconsideredthesefromthebeginning,youwouldneverhaveharbouredsuchpresumptuousthoughts:a