CHAPTER XVIII. MIRTH AND MOURNING

The1stofJunearrivedatlast:andRosalieMurraywastransmutedintoLadyAshby.Mostsplendidlybeautifulshelookedinherbridalcostume.Uponherreturnfromchurch,aftertheceremony,shecameflyingintotheschoolroom,flushedwithexcitement,andlaughing,halfinmirth,andhalfinrecklessdesperation,asitseemedtome. “Now,MissGrey,I’mLadyAshby!”sheexclaimed.“It’sdone,myfateissealed:there’snodrawingbacknow.I’mcometoreceiveyourcongratulationsandbidyougood-byandthenI’moffforParis,Rome,Naples,Switzerland,London—oh,dear!whatadealIshallseeandhearbeforeIcomebackagain.Butdon’tforgetme:Ishan’tforgetyou,thoughI’vebeenanaughtygirl.Come,whydon’tyoucongratulateme?” “Icannotcongratulateyou,”Ireplied,“tillIknowwhetherthischangeisreallyforthebetter:butIsincerelyhopeitisandIwishyoutruehappinessandthebestofblessings.” “Well,good-by,thecarriageiswaiting,andthey’recallingme.” Shegavemeahastykiss,andwashurryingawaybut,suddenlyreturning,embracedmewithmoreaffectionthanIthoughthercapableofevincing,anddepartedwithtearsinhereyes.Poorgirl!Ireallylovedherthenandforgaveherfrommyheartalltheinjuryshehaddoneme—andothersalso:shehadnothalfknownit,IwassureandIprayedGodtopardonhertoo. Duringtheremainderofthatdayoffestalsadness,Iwaslefttomyowndevices.Beingtoomuchunhingedforanysteadyoccupation,Iwanderedaboutwithabookinmyhandforseveralhours,morethinkingthanreading,forIhadmanythingstothinkabout.Intheevening,ImadeuseofmylibertytogoandseemyoldfriendNancyonceagaintoapologizeformylongabsence(whichmusthaveseemedsoneglectfulandunkind)bytellingherhowbusyIhadbeenandtotalk,orread,orworkforher,whichevermightbemostacceptable,andalso,ofcourse,totellherthenewsofthisimportantday:andperhapstoobtainalittleinformationfromherinreturn,respectingMr.Weston’sexpecteddeparture.Butofthissheseemedtoknownothing,andIhoped,asshedid,thatitwasallafalsereport.Shewasverygladtoseemebut,happily,hereyeswerenowsonearlywellthatshewasalmostindependentofmyservices.ShewasdeeplyinterestedintheweddingbutwhileIamusedherwiththedetailsofthefestiveday,thesplendoursofthebridalpartyandofthebrideherself,sheoftensighedandshookherhead,andwishedgoodmightcomeofitsheseemed,likeme,toregarditratherasathemeforsorrowthanrejoicing.Isatalongtimetalkingtoheraboutthatandotherthings—butnoonecame. ShallIconfessthatIsometimeslookedtowardsthedoorwithahalf-expectantwishtoseeitopenandgiveentrancetoMr.Weston,ashadhappenedoncebefore?andthat,returningthroughthelanesandfields,Ioftenpausedtolookroundme,andwalkedmoreslowlythanwasatallnecessary—for,thoughafineevening,itwasnotahotone—and,finally,feltasenseofemptinessanddisappointmentathavingreachedthehousewithoutmeetingorevencatchingadistantglimpseofanyone,exceptafewlabourersreturningfromtheirwork? Sunday,however,wasapproaching:Ishouldseehimthen:fornowthatMissMurraywasgone,Icouldhavemyoldcorneragain.Ishouldseehim,andbylook,speech,andmanner,Imightjudgewhetherthecircumstanceofhermarriagehadverymuchafflictedhim.HappilyIcouldperceivenoshadowofadifference:heworethesameaspectashehadworntwomonthsago—voice,look,manner,a