CHAPTER I. THE PARSONAGE

ccordingtohismeans:or,assomemightthink,beyondthem. Atlength,however,akindfriendsuggestedtohimameansofdoublinghisprivatepropertyatonestrokeandfurtherincreasingit,hereafter,toanuntoldamount.Thisfriendwasamerchant,amanofenterprisingspiritandundoubtedtalent,whowassomewhatstraitenedinhismercantilepursuitsforwantofcapitalbutgenerouslyproposedtogivemyfatherafairshareofhisprofits,ifhewouldonlyentrusthimwithwhathecouldspareandhethoughthemightsafelypromisethatwhateversumthelatterchosetoputintohishands,itshouldbringhimincent.percent.Thesmallpatrimonywasspeedilysold,andthewholeofitspricewasdepositedinthehandsofthefriendlymerchantwhoaspromptlyproceededtoshiphiscargo,andprepareforhisvoyage. Myfatherwasdelighted,sowereweall,withourbrighteningprospects.Forthepresent,itistrue,wewerereducedtothenarrowincomeofthecuracybutmyfatherseemedtothinktherewasnonecessityforscrupulouslyrestrictingourexpendituretothatso,withastandingbillatMr.Jackson’s,anotheratSmith’s,andathirdatHobson’s,wegotalongevenmorecomfortablythanbefore:thoughmymotheraffirmedwehadbetterkeepwithinbounds,forourprospectsofwealthwerebutprecarious,afterallandifmyfatherwouldonlytrusteverythingtohermanagement,heshouldneverfeelhimselfstinted:buthe,foronce,wasincorrigible. WhathappyhoursMaryandIhavepassedwhilesittingatourworkbythefire,orwanderingontheheath-cladhills,oridlingundertheweepingbirch(theonlyconsiderabletreeinthegarden),talkingoffuturehappinesstoourselvesandourparents,ofwhatwewoulddo,andsee,andpossesswithnofirmerfoundationforourgoodlysuperstructurethantherichesthatwereexpectedtoflowinuponusfromthesuccessoftheworthymerchant’sspeculations.Ourfatherwasnearlyasbadasourselvesonlythatheaffectednottobesomuchinearnest:expressinghisbrighthopesandsanguineexpectationsinjestsandplayfulsallies,thatalwaysstruckmeasbeingexceedinglywittyandpleasant.Ourmotherlaughedwithdelighttoseehimsohopefulandhappy:butstillshefearedhewassettinghishearttoomuchuponthematterandonceIheardherwhisperasshelefttheroom,“Godgranthebenotdisappointed!Iknownothowhewouldbearit.” Disappointedhewasandbitterly,too.Itcamelikeathunder-claponusall,thatthevesselwhichcontainedourfortunehadbeenwrecked,andgonetothebottomwithallitsstores,togetherwithseveralofthecrew,andtheunfortunatemerchanthimself.IwasgrievedforhimIwasgrievedfortheoverthrowofallourair-builtcastles:but,withtheelasticityofyouth,Isoonrecoveredtheshock. Thoughricheshadcharms,povertyhadnoterrorsforaninexperiencedgirllikeme.Indeed,tosaythetruth,therewassomethingexhilaratingintheideaofbeingdriventostraits,andthrownuponourownresources.Ionlywishedpapa,mamma,andMarywereallofthesamemindasmyselfandthen,insteadoflamentingpastcalamitieswemightallcheerfullysettoworktoremedythemandthegreaterthedifficulties,theharderourpresentprivations,thegreatershouldbeourcheerfulnesstoendurethelatter,andourvigourtocontendagainsttheformer. Marydidnotlament,butshebroodedcontinuallyoverthemisfortune,andsankintoastateofdejectionfromwhichnoeffortofminecouldrouseher.IcouldnotpossiblybringhertoregardthematteronitsbrightsideasIdid:andindeedIwassofearfulofbeingchargedwithchildishfrivolity,orstupidinsensibility,thatIcarefullykeptmostofmybrightideasandcheeringnotionstomyselfwellknowingtheycouldnotbeappreciated. Mymotherthoughtonlyofconsolingmyfather,andpayingourdebtsandretrenchingourexpenditurebyeveryavailablemeansbutmyfatherwascompletelyoverwhelmedbythecalamity:health,strength,andspiritssankbeneaththeblow,andheneverwhollyrecoveredthem.Invainmymotherstrovetocheerhim,byappealingtohispiety,tohiscourage,tohisaffectionforherselfandus.Thatveryaffectionwashisgreatesttorment:itwasforoursakeshehadsoardentlylongedtoincreasehisfortune—itwasourinterestthathadlentsuchbrightnesstohishopes,andthatimpartedsuchbitternesstohispresentdistress.Henowtormentedhimselfwithremorseathavingneglectedmymother’sadvicewhichwouldatleasthavesavedhimfromtheadditionalburdenofdebt—hevainlyreproachedhimselfforhavingbroughtherfromthedignity,theease,theluxuryofherformerstationtotoilwithhimthroughthecaresandtoilsofpoverty.Itwasgallandwormwoodtohissoultoseethatsplendid,