CHAPTER I. THE PARSONAGE

Alltruehistoriescontaininstructionthough,insome,thetreasuremaybehardtofind,andwhenfound,sotrivialinquantity,thatthedry,shrivelledkernelscarcelycompensatesforthetroubleofcrackingthenut.Whetherthisbethecasewithmyhistoryornot,Iamhardlycompetenttojudge.Isometimesthinkitmightproveusefultosome,andentertainingtoothersbuttheworldmayjudgeforitself.Shieldedbymyownobscurity,andbythelapseofyears,andafewfictitiousnames,IdonotfeartoventureandwillcandidlylaybeforethepublicwhatIwouldnotdisclosetothemostintimatefriend. MyfatherwasaclergymanofthenorthofEngland,whowasdeservedlyrespectedbyallwhoknewhimand,inhisyoungerdays,livedprettycomfortablyonthejointincomeofasmallincumbencyandasnuglittlepropertyofhisown.Mymother,whomarriedhimagainstthewishesofherfriends,wasasquire’sdaughter,andawomanofspirit.Invainitwasrepresentedtoher,thatifshebecamethepoorparson’swife,shemustrelinquishhercarriageandherlady’s-maid,andalltheluxuriesandeleganciesofaffluencewhichtoherwerelittlelessthanthenecessariesoflife.Acarriageandalady’s-maidweregreatconveniencesbut,thankheaven,shehadfeettocarryher,andhandstoministertoherownnecessities.AneleganthouseandspaciousgroundswerenottobedespisedbutshewouldratherliveinacottagewithRichardGreythaninapalacewithanyothermanintheworld. Findingargumentsofnoavail,herfather,atlength,toldtheloverstheymightmarryiftheypleasedbut,insodoing,hisdaughterwouldforfeiteveryfractionofherfortune.Heexpectedthiswouldcooltheardourofbothbuthewasmistaken.Myfatherknewtoowellmymother’ssuperiorworthnottobesensiblethatshewasavaluablefortuneinherself:andifshewouldbutconsenttoembellishhishumblehearthheshouldbehappytotakeheronanytermswhileshe,onherpart,wouldratherlabourwithherownhandsthanbedividedfromthemansheloved,whosehappinessitwouldbeherjoytomake,andwhowasalreadyonewithherinheartandsoul.Soherfortunewenttoswellthepurseofawisersister,whohadmarriedarichnabobandshe,tothewonderandcompassionateregretofallwhoknewher,wenttoburyherselfinthehomelyvillageparsonageamongthehillsof——.Andyet,inspiteofallthis,andinspiteofmymother’shighspiritandmyfather’swhims,IbelieveyoumightsearchallEnglandthrough,andfailtofindahappiercouple. Ofsixchildren,mysisterMaryandmyselfweretheonlytwothatsurvivedtheperilsofinfancyandearlychildhood.I,beingtheyoungerbyfiveorsixyears,wasalwaysregardedasthechild,andthepetofthefamily:father,mother,andsister,allcombinedtospoilme—notbyfoolishindulgence,torendermefractiousandungovernable,butbyceaselesskindness,tomakemetoohelplessanddependent—toounfitforbuffetingwiththecaresandturmoilsoflife. MaryandIwerebroughtupinthestrictestseclusion.Mymother,beingatoncehighlyaccomplished,wellinformed,andfondofemployment,tookthewholechargeofoureducationonherself,withtheexceptionofLatin—whichmyfatherundertooktoteachus—sothatweneverevenwenttoschooland,astherewasnosocietyintheneighbourhood,ouronlyintercoursewiththeworldconsistedinastatelytea-party,nowandthen,withtheprincipalfarmersandtradespeopleofthevicinity(justtoavoidbeingstigmatizedastooproudtoconsortwithourneighbours),andanannualvisittoourpaternalgrandfather’swherehimself,ourkindgrandmamma,amaidenaunt,andtwoorthreeelderlyladiesandgentlemen,weretheonlypersonsweeversaw.Sometimesourmotherwouldamuseuswithstoriesandanecdotesofheryoungerdays,which,whiletheyentertainedusamazingly,frequentlyawoke—inme,atleast—asecretwishtoseealittlemoreoftheworld. Ithoughtshemusthavebeenveryhappy:butsheneverseemedtoregretpasttimes.Myfather,however,whosetemperwasneithertranquilnorcheerfulbynature,oftenundulyvexedhimselfwiththinkingofthesacrificeshisdearwifehadmadeforhimandtroubledhisheadwithrevolvingendlessschemesfortheaugmentationofhislittlefortune,forhersakeandours.Invainmymotherassuredhimshewasquitesatisfiedandifhewouldbutlaybyalittleforthechildren,weshouldallhaveplenty,bothfortimepresentandtocome:butsavingwasnotmyfather’sforte.Hewouldnotrunindebt(atleast,mymothertookgoodcareheshouldnot),butwhilehehadmoneyhemustspendit:helikedtoseehishousecomfortable,andhiswifeanddaughterswellclothed,andwellattendedandbesides,hewascharitablydisposed,andlikedtogivetothepoor,a