CHAPTER XXIX

lt,and,explainingthathehadaholiday,bothheandKatharineseemedtotakeitforgrantedthathisholidayshouldbecelebratedwithflowersandspentinCheyneWalk.Apausefollowedthat,too,wasnaturalandMrs.Milvainbegantofeelthatshelaidherselfopentoachargeofselfishnessifshestayed.Themerepresenceofayoungmanhadalteredherdispositioncuriously,andfilledherwithadesireforascenewhichshouldendinanemotionalforgiveness.Shewouldhavegivenmuchtoclaspbothnephewandnieceinherarms.Butshecouldnotflatterherselfthatanyhopeofthecustomaryexaltationremained. “Imustgo,”shesaid,andshewasconsciousofanextremeflatnessofspirit. Neitherofthemsaidanythingtostopher.Williampolitelyescortedherdownstairs,andsomehow,amongstherprotestsandembarrassments,Mrs.Milvainforgottosaygood-byetoKatharine.Shedeparted,murmuringwordsaboutmassesofflowersandadrawing-roomalwaysbeautifuleveninthedepthsofwinter. WilliamcamebacktoKatharinehefoundherstandingwherehehadlefther. “I’vecometobeforgiven,”hesaid.“Ourquarrelwasperfectlyhatefultome.I’venotsleptallnight.You’renotangrywithme,areyou,Katharine?” Shecouldnotbringherselftoanswerhimuntilshehadridhermindoftheimpressionthatheraunthadmadeonher.Itseemedtoherthattheveryflowerswerecontaminated,andCassandra’spocket-handkerchief,forMrs.Milvainhadusedthemforevidenceinherinvestigations. “She’sbeenspyinguponus,”shesaid,“followingusaboutLondon,overhearingwhatpeoplearesaying—” “Mrs.Milvain?”Rodneyexclaimed.“Whathasshetoldyou?” Hisairofopenconfidenceentirelyvanished. “Oh,peoplearesayingthatyou’reinlovewithCassandra,andthatyoudon’tcareforme.” “Theyhaveseenus?”heasked. “Everythingwe’vedoneforafortnighthasbeenseen.” “Itoldyouthatwouldhappen!”heexclaimed. Hewalkedtothewindowinevidentperturbation.Katharinewastooindignanttoattendtohim.Shewassweptawaybytheforceofherownanger.ClaspingRodney’sflowers,shestooduprightandmotionless. Rodneyturnedawayfromthewindow. “It’sallbeenamistake,”hesaid.“Iblamemyselfforit.Ishouldhaveknownbetter.Iletyoupersuademeinamomentofmadness.Ibegyoutoforgetmyinsanity,Katharine.” “ShewishedeventopersecuteCassandra!”Katharineburstout,notlisteningtohim.“Shethreatenedtospeaktoher.She’scapableofit—she’scapableofanything!” “Mrs.Milvainisnottactful,Iknow,butyouexaggerate,Katharine.Peoplearetalkingaboutus.Shewasrighttotellus.Itonlyconfirmsmyownfeeling—thepositionismonstrous.” AtlengthKatharinerealizedsomepartofwhathemeant. “Youdon’tmeanthatthisinfluencesyou,William?”sheaskedinamazement. “Itdoes,”hesaid,flushing.“It’sintenselydisagreeabletome.Ican’tendurethatpeopleshouldgossipaboutus.Andthenthere’syourcousin—Cassandra—”Hepausedinembarrassment. “Icameherethismorning,Katharine,”heresumed,withachangeofvoice,“toaskyoutoforgetmyfolly,mybadtemper,myinconceivablebehavior.Icame,Katharine,toaskwhetherwecan’treturntothepositionwewereinbeforethis—thisseasonoflunacy.Willyoutakemeback,Katharine,oncemoreandforever?” Nodoubtherbeauty,intensifiedbyemotionandenhancedbytheflowersofbrightcolorandstrangeshapewhichshecarriedwroughtuponRodney,andhaditsshareinbestowinguponhertheoldromance.Butalessnoblepassionworkedinhim,toohewasinflamedbyjealousy.Histentativeofferofaffectionhadbeenrudelyand,ashethought,completelyrepulsedbyCassandraontheprecedingday.Denham’sconfessionwasinhismind.Andultimately,Katharine’sdominionoverhimwasofthesortthatthefeversofthenightcannotexorcise. “Iwasasmuchtoblameasyouwereyesterday,”shesaidgently,disregardinghisquestion.“Iconfess,William,thesightofyouandCassandratogethermademejealous,andIcouldn’tcontrolmyself.Ilaughedatyou,Iknow.” “Youjealous!”Williamexclaimed.“Iassureyou,Katharine,you’venottheslightestreasontobejealous.Cassandradislikesme,sofarasshefeelsaboutmeatall.Iwasfoolishenoughtotrytoexplainthenatureofourrelationship.Icouldn’tresisttellingherwhatIsupposedmyselftofeelforher.Sherefusedtolisten,veryrightly.Butsheleftmeinnodoubtofherscorn.” Katharinehesitated.Shewasconfused,agitated,physicallytired,andhadalreadytoreckonwiththeviolentfeelingofdislikearousedbyherauntwhichstillvibratedthroughalltherestofherfeelings.Shesankintoachairanddroppedherflowersuponherlap. “Shecharmedme,”Rodneycontinued.“IthoughtIlovedher.Butthat’sathingofthepast.It’sallover,Katharine.Itwasadream—anhallucination.Wewerebothequallytoblame,butnoharm’sdoneifyoubelievehowtrulyIcareforyou.Sayyoubelieveme!” Hestoodoverher,asifinreadinesstoseizethefirstsignofherassent.Preciselyatthatmoment,owing,perhaps,tohervicissitudesoffeeling,allsenseoflovelefther,asinamomentamistliftsfromtheearth.Andwhenthemistdepartedaskeletonworldandblanknessaloneremained—aterribleprospectfortheeyesofthelivingtobehold.Hesawthelookofterrorinherface,andwithoutunderstandingitsorigin,tookherhandinhis.Withthesenseofcompanionshipreturnedadesire,likethatofachildforshelter,toacceptwhathehadtoofferher—andatthatmomentitseemedthatheofferedhertheonlythingthatcouldmakeittolerabletolive.Shelethimpresshislipstohercheek,andleantherheaduponhisarm.Itwasthemomentofhistriu