CHAPTER V

reasonable.Itisapeculiarityofparents,reflectedIngeborg,thattheyarealwaysbeingjustified.Howeversmallandinnocentwhatyouaredoingmaybe,iftheydisapprovesomethingturnsuptocausethemtohavebeenaltogetherright.Sherememberedlittlethings,smalloccasions,ofheryoungerdays....Thiswasabigoccasion,andwhathadturneduponitwasHerrDremmel.Itwasapity—oh,itwasapityshehadn'tconsideredbeforesheleftLondonsoimpulsivelywhetherwhenshegotbacktoRedchestershewasgoingtobeuntruthfulornot.Shehadconsiderednothing,excepttheacutenessofthejoyofrunningaway.Nowshewasfacedbythereallyawfulquestionoflyingornotlying.Itwasuglytolieatall.Itwasdreadfultolietoone'sfather.ButtolietoabishopraisedtheoperationfromjustaprivatesinwhichGodwoulddealwithkindlyonbeingasked,toacrimeyouwerepunishedforifitwasacathedralyoudiditto,arealcrime,thecrimeofsacrilege.Impossibletoprofaneasacredandconsecratedobjectlikeabishop.Doublyandtreblyimpossibleifyouwerethatobject'sowndaughter.Hertightlyfoldedhandswentcoldassherealisedshewasundoubtedlygoingtobetruthful.ShewaseverybitasvaliantasherSwedishgrandmotherhadbeen,thatgrandmotherwhowasawareofthedangersofthethingsshedidwithhermountainsandhergustylakesanddefiedthem,buthergrandmotherknewnofearandIngeborgknewitverywell.Herswastherealcouragefoundonlyintheentirelyterrified,who,terrified,yetseethething,whateveritis,doggedlythrough.Shewasfaint,yetpursuing. Shesawmuchterrorinherimmediatefuture.Shedreadedhavingtobecourageous.Shefeltshewastoosmallreallyforthebravelytruthfulansweringofhermagnificentfather'squestions.Hewouldhavethecatechismandtheconfirmationserviceonhisside,aswellasthelawsofrightbehaviourandfiliallove.Itdidn'tseemfair.Onecouldn'targuewithaparent,onecouldn'tanswerbackwhileasforabishop,onecouldn'tdoanythingatallwithhimexcepthastilyagree.Therewasjustapossibility—buthowremote—thatherfatherwouldbetoobusytoaskquestionsshesighedasshereflectedhowlittleshecouldcountonthat,andhowthemostsuperficialinquiryaboutherauntorthedentistwouldbringoutthewholestory. AndherewasHerrDremmelwhothoughtnothingatallofhim,eveninregardtoanenormousundertakinglikehisdaughter'smarriage.Therewassomethingsublimeinsuchdetachment.Shefeltthelargenessofthefreedomofitblowinginherfacelikeabrisk,invigoratingwind.ThereseemedtobenohedgesroundHerrDremmel.Hewasasuntied-upapersonasshehadevermet.Hecarednothingforotherpeople'sopinion,thatchiefenslavementofherhome,andhewasanorphan.Sadtobeanorphan,thoughtIngeborgsighing.Sad,ofcourse,nottohaveanydearones.Butitdidseemtobeaconditionthatavoidedthedilemmawhosehornswereconcealmentbymeansofuntruthsandthescrewingupofoneselftothatclammilycoldandforlorncondition,havingcourage. Ofcourse,HerrDremmeldidn'tknowherfather.Hehadn'tfacedthatimpressivepersonality.Wouldhebequitesodetachedandeasilyindifferentifhehad?Shethoughtwithashiverofwhatsuchame