CHAPTER XXXVII. IN WHICH THE READER MAY PERCEIVE A CONTRAST, NOT UNCOMMON IN MATRIMONIAL CASES

beingmyprerogative.” “Yourprerogative!”sneeredMrs.Bumble,withineffablecontempt. “Isaidtheword,ma’am,”saidMr.Bumble.“Theprerogativeofamanistocommand.” “Andwhat’stheprerogativeofawoman,inthenameofGoodness?”criedtherelictofMr.Corneydeceased. “Toobey,ma’am,”thunderedMr.Bumble.“Yourlateunfortunatehusbandshouldhavetaughtityouandthen,perhaps,hemighthavebeenalivenow.Iwishhewas,poorman!” Mrs.Bumble,seeingataglance,thatthedecisivemomenthadnowarrived,andthatablowstruckforthemastershipononesideorother,mustnecessarilybefinalandconclusive,nosoonerheardthisallusiontothedeadandgone,thanshedroppedintoachair,andwithaloudscreamthatMr.Bumblewasahard-heartedbrute,fellintoaparoxysmoftears. But,tearswerenotthethingstofindtheirwaytoMr.Bumble’ssoulhisheartwaswaterproof.Likewashablebeaverhatsthatimprovewithrain,hisnerveswererenderedstouterandmorevigorous,byshowersoftears,which,beingtokensofweakness,andsofartacitadmissionsofhisownpower,pleasedandexaltedhim.Heeyedhisgoodladywithlooksofgreatsatisfaction,andbegged,inanencouragingmanner,thatsheshouldcryherhardest:theexercisebeinglookedupon,bythefaculty,asstronglyconducivetohealth. “Itopensthelungs,washesthecountenance,exercisestheeyes,andsoftensdownthetemper,”saidMr.Bumble.“Socryaway.” Ashedischargedhimselfofthispleasantry,Mr.Bumbletookhishatfromapeg,andputtingiton,ratherrakishly,ononeside,asamanmight,whofelthehadassertedhissuperiorityinabecomingmanner,thrusthishandsintohispockets,andsaunteredtowardsthedoor,withmucheaseandwaggishnessdepictedinhiswholeappearance. Now,Mrs.Corneythatwas,hadtriedthetears,becausetheywerelesstroublesomethanamanualassaultbut,shewasquitepreparedtomaketrialofthelattermodeofproceeding,asMr.Bumblewasnotlongindiscovering. Thefirstproofheexperiencedofthefact,wasconveyedinahollowsound,immediatelysucceededbythesuddenflyingoffofhishattotheoppositeendoftheroom.Thispreliminaryproceedinglayingbarehishead,theexpertlady,claspinghimtightlyroundthethroatwithonehand,inflictedashowerofblows(dealtwithsingularvigouranddexterity)uponitwiththeother.Thisdone,shecreatedalittlevarietybyscratchinghisface,andtearinghishairand,having,bythistime,inflictedasmuchpunishmentasshedeemednecessaryfortheoffence,shepushedhimoverachair,whichwasluckilywellsituatedforthepurpose:anddefiedhimtotalkabouthisprerogativeagain,ifhedared. “Getup!”saidMrs.Bumble,inavoiceofcommand.“Andtakeyourselfawayfromhere,unlessyouwantmetodosomethingdesperate.” Mr.Bumblerosewithaveryruefulcountenance:wonderingmuchwhatsomethingdesperatemightbe.Pickinguphishat,helookedtowardsthedoor. “Areyougoing?”demandedMrs.Bumble. “Certainly,mydear,certainly,”rejoinedMr.Bumble,makingaquickermotiontowardsthedoor.“Ididn’tintendto—I’mgoing,mydear!Youaresoveryviolent,thatreallyI—” Atthisinstant,Mrs.Bumblesteppedhastilyforwardtoreplacethecarpet,whichhadbeenkickedupinthescuffle.Mr.Bumbleimmediatelydartedoutoftheroom,withoutbestowinganotherthoughtonhisunfinishedsentence:leavingthelateMrs.Corneyinfullpossessionofthefield. Mr.Bumblewasfairlytakenbysurprise,andfairlybeaten.Hehadadecidedpropensityforbullying:derivednoinconsiderablepleasurefromtheexerciseofpettycrueltyand,consequently,was(itisneedlesstosay)acoward.Thisisbynomeansadisparagementtohischaracterformanyofficialpersonages,whoareheldinhighrespectandadmiration,arethevictimsofsimilarinfirmities.Theremarkismade,indeed,ratherinhisfavourthanotherwise,andwithaviewofimpressingthereaderwithajustsenseofhisqualificationsforoffice. B