CHAPTER XXXVII. IN WHICH THE READER MAY PERCEIVE A CONTRAST, NOT UNCOMMON IN MATRIMONIAL CASES

Mr.Bumblesatintheworkhouseparlour,withhiseyesmoodilyfixedonthecheerlessgrate,whence,asitwassummertime,nobrightergleamproceeded,thanthereflectionofcertainsicklyraysofthesun,whichweresentbackfromitscoldandshiningsurface.Apaperfly-cagedangledfromtheceiling,towhichheoccasionallyraisedhiseyesingloomythoughtand,astheheedlessinsectshoveredroundthegaudynet-work,Mr.Bumblewouldheaveadeepsigh,whileamoregloomyshadowoverspreadhiscountenance.Mr.Bumblewasmeditatingitmightbethattheinsectsbroughttomind,somepainfulpassageinhisownpastlife. NorwasMr.Bumble’sgloomtheonlythingcalculatedtoawakenapleasingmelancholyinthebosomofaspectator.Therewerenotwantingotherappearances,andthosecloselyconnectedwithhisownperson,whichannouncedthatagreatchangehadtakenplaceinthepositionofhisaffairs.Thelacedcoat,andthecockedhatwherewerethey?Hestillworeknee-breeches,anddarkcottonstockingsonhisnetherlimbsbuttheywerenotthebreeches.Thecoatwaswide-skirtedandinthatrespectlikethecoat,but,ohhowdifferent!Themightycockedhatwasreplacedbyamodestroundone.Mr.Bumblewasnolongerabeadle. Therearesomepromotionsinlife,which,independentofthemoresubstantialrewardstheyoffer,requirepeculiarvalueanddignityfromthecoatsandwaistcoatsconnectedwiththem.Afield-marshalhashisuniformabishophissilkapronacounsellorhissilkgownabeadlehiscockedhat.Stripthebishopofhisapron,orthebeadleofhishatandlacewhatarethey?Men.Meremen.Dignity,andevenholinesstoo,sometimes,aremorequestionsofcoatandwaistcoatthansomepeopleimagine. Mr.BumblehadmarriedMrs.Corney,andwasmasteroftheworkhouse.Anotherbeadlehadcomeintopower.Onhimthecockedhat,gold-lacedcoat,andstaff,hadallthreedescended. “Andto-morrowtwomonthsitwasdone!”saidMr.Bumble,withasigh.“Itseemsaage.” Mr.Bumblemighthavemeantthathehadconcentratedawholeexistenceofhappinessintotheshortspaceofeightweeksbutthesigh—therewasavastdealofmeaninginthesigh. “Isoldmyself,”saidMr.Bumble,pursuingthesametrainofrelection,“forsixteaspoons,apairofsugar-tongs,andamilk-potwithasmallquantityofsecond-handfurniture,andtwentypoundinmoney.Iwentveryreasonable.Cheap,dirtcheap!” “Cheap!”criedashrillvoiceinMr.Bumble’sear:“youwouldhavebeendearatanypriceanddearenoughIpaidforyou,Lordaboveknowsthat!” Mr.Bumbleturned,andencounteredthefaceofhisinterestingconsort,who,imperfectlycomprehendingthefewwordsshehadoverheardofhiscomplaint,hadhazardedtheforegoingremarkataventure. “Mrs.Bumble,ma’am!”saidMr.Bumble,withasentimentalsternness. “Well!”criedthelady. “Havethegoodnesstolookatme,”saidMr.Bumble,fixinghiseyesuponher. “Ifshestandssuchaeyeasthat,”saidMr.Bumbletohimself,“shecanstandanything.ItisaeyeIneverknewtofailwithpaupers.Ifitfailswithher,mypowerisgone.” Whetheranexceedinglysmallexpansionofeyebesufficienttoquellpaupers,who,beinglightlyfed,areinnoveryhighconditionorwhetherthelateMrs.Corneywasparticularlyproofagainsteagleglancesaremattersofopinion.Thematteroffact,is,thatthematronwasinnowayoverpoweredbyMr.Bumble’sscowl,but,onthecontrary,treateditwithgreatdisdain,andevenraisedalaughthereat,whichsoundedasthoughitweregenuine. Onhearingthismostunexpectedsound,Mr.Bumblelooked,firstincredulous,andafterwardsamazed.Hethenrelapsedintohisformerstatenordidherousehimselfuntilhisattentionwasagainawakenedbythevoiceofhispartner. “Areyougoingtositsnoringthere,allday?”inquiredMrs.Bumble. “Iamgoingtosithere,aslongasIthinkproper,ma’am,”rejoinedMr.Bumble“andalthoughIwasnotsnoring,Ishallsnore,gape,sneeze,laugh,orcry,asthehumourstrikesmesuch