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ly,canyouthinkthatIshouldhateyou?'
Andwhentheylefthehadaccompaniedthemtothegatesandbeenquiteaffectionateinhisfarewell.
AtlastthenightcameandIcouldshutmyselfupinmyroom.IthoughtwithabittersmilethatitwasthehouratwhichIwasusedtogotoGiulia.AndnowIshouldnevergotoGiuliaagain.MyunhappinesswastoogreatforwrathIfelttooutterlymiserabletothinkofmygrievances,orofmycontempt.Ionlyfeltbroken-hearted.Icouldnotkeepthetearsback,andburyingmyfaceinthepillows,Icriedmyheartout.ItwasyearsandyearssinceIhadwept,notsinceIwasquiteaboy,butthisblowhadtakenfrommeallmanliness,andIgavemyselfovertomygrief,passionately,shamelessly.IdidnotcarethatIwasweakIhadnorespectformyself,orcareformyself.Thesobscame,oneontheheelsofanotherlikewaves,andthepain,astheytoremychest,relievedtheanguishofmymind.Exhaustioncameatlast,andwithitsleep.
ButIknewIcouldnothidethechangeinme,andMatteosoonnoticedit.
'Whatisthematterwithyou,Filippo?'heasked.Iblushedandhesitated.
'Nothing,'Iansweredatlast.
'Ithoughtyouwereunhappy.'
Oureyesmet,butIcouldnotstandhisinquiringglanceandlookeddown.Hecametome,andsittingonthearmofmychair,puthishandonmyshoulderandsaidaffectionately,—
'We'refriends,aren'twe,Filippo?'
'Yes,'Ianswered,smilingandtakinghishand.
'Won'tyoutrustme?'
AfterapauseIanswered,—
'Ishouldsomuchliketo.'Ifeltasifindeeditwouldrelievemetobeabletoconfideinsomebody,Iwantedsympathysobadly.
Hepassedhishandgentlyovermyhair.
Ihesitatedalittle,butIcouldnothelpmyself,andItoldhimthewholestoryfrombeginningtoend.
'Poverino!'hesaid,whenIhadfinishedthen,clenchinghisteeth,'Sheisabeast,thatwoman!'
'Ioughttohavetakenyourwarning,Matteo,butIwasafool.'
'Whoeverdoestakewarning!'heanswered,s
