Chapter 5

關燈
age,asIdaresayyouknow.IsupposethatthechildwillbeeducatedinItaly.Possiblyhisgrandmothermaybedoingsomething,butIhavenotheardofit.Idonotexpectthatshewillhavehimover.Shedisapprovesofthefather.Itisaltogetherapainfulbusinessforher.” ShewascarefulonlytoscoldIrmafordisobedience—thateighthdeadlysin,soconvenienttoparentsandguardians.Harrietwouldhaveplungedintoneedlessexplanationsandabuse.Thechildwasashamed,andtalkedaboutthebabyless.Theendoftheschoolyearwasathand,andshehopedtogetanotherprize.Butshealsohadputherhandtothewheel. ItwasseveraldaysbeforetheysawMissAbbott.Mrs.Herritonhadnotcomeacrosshermuchsincethekissofreconciliation,norPhilipsincethejourneytoLondon.Shehad,indeed,beenratheradisappointmenttohim.Hercreditabledisplayoforiginalityhadneverbeenrepeated:hefearedshewasslippingback.NowshecameabouttheCottageHospital—herlifewasdevotedtodullactsofcharity—andthoughshegotmoneyoutofhimandoutofhismother,shestillsattightinherchair,lookinggraverandmorewoodenthanever. “Idaresayyouhaveheard,”saidMrs.Herriton,wellknowingwhatthematterwas. “Yes,Ihave.Icametoaskyouhaveanystepsbeentaken?” Philipwasastonished.Thequestionwasimpertinentintheextreme.HehadaregardforMissAbbott,andregrettedthatshehadbeenguiltyofit. “Aboutthebaby?”askedMrs.Herritonpleasantly. “Yes.” “AsfarasIknow,nosteps.Mrs.Theobaldmayhavedecidedonsomething,butIhavenotheardofit.” “Iwasmeaning,hadyoudecidedonanything?” “Thechildisnorelationofours,”saidPhilip.“Itisthereforescarcelyforustointerfere.” Hismotherglancedathimnervously.“PoorLiliawasalmostadaughtertomeonce.IknowwhatMissAbbottmeans.Butnowthingshavealtered.AnyinitiativewouldnaturallycomefromMrs.Theobald.” “ButdoesnotMrs.Theobaldalwaystakeanyinitiativefromyou?”askedMissAbbott. Mrs.Herritoncouldnothelpcolouring.“Isometimeshavegivenheradviceinthepast.Ishouldnotpresumetodosonow.” “Thenisnothingtobedoneforthechildatall?” “Itisextraordinarilygoodofyoutotakethisunexpectedinterest,”saidPhilip. “Thechildcameintotheworldthroughmynegligence,”repliedMissAbbott.“ItisnaturalIshouldtakeaninterestinit.” “MydearCaroline,”saidMrs.Herriton,“youmustnotbroodoverthething.Letbygonesbebygones.Thechildshouldworryyouevenlessthanitworriesus.Weneverevenmentionit.Itbelongstoanotherworld.” MissAbbottgotupwithoutreplyingandturnedtogo.HerextremegravitymadeMrs.Herritonuneasy.“Ofcourse,”sheadded,“ifMrs.Theobalddecidesonanyplanthatseemsatallpracticable—ImustsayIdon’tseeanysuch—IshallaskifImayjoinherinit,forIrma’ssake,andshareinanypossibleexpenses.” “Pleasewouldyouletmeknowifshedecidesonanything.Ishouldliketojoinaswell.” “Mydear,howyouthrowaboutyourmoney!Wewouldneverallowit.” “Andifshedecidesonnothing,pleasealsoletmeknow.Letmeknowinanycase.” Mrs.Herritonmadeapointofkissingher. “Istheyoungpersonmad?”burstoutPhilipassoonasshehaddeparted.“NeverinmylifehaveIseensuchcolossalimpertinence.Sheoughttobewellsmacked,andsentbacktoSunday-school.” Hismothersaidnothing. “Butdon’tyousee—sheispracticallythreateningus?Youcan’tputheroffwithMrs.Theobaldsheknowsaswellaswedothatsheisanonentity.Ifwedon’tdoanythingshe’sgoingtoraiseascandal—thatweneglectourrelatives,&c.,whichis,ofcourse,alie.Stillshe’llsayit.Oh,dear,sweet,soberCarolineAbbotthasascrewloose!WeknewitatMonteriano.Ihadmysuspicionslastyearonedayinthetrainandhereitisagain.Theyoungpersonismad.” Shestillsaidnothing. “ShallIgoroundatonceandgiveitherwell?I’dreallyenjoyit.” Inalow,seriousvoice—suchavoiceasshehadnotusedtohimformonths—Mrs.Herritonsaid,“Carolinehasbeenextremelyimpertinent.Yettheremaybesomethinginwhatshesaysafterall.Oughtthechildtogrowupinthatplace—andwiththatfather?” Philipstartedandshuddered.Hesawthathismotherwasnotsincere.Herinsinceritytoothershadamusedhim,butitwasdishearteningwhenusedagainsthimself. “Letusadmitfrankly,”shecontinued,“thatafterallwemayhaveresponsibilities.” “Idon’tunderstandyou,Mother.Youareturningabsolutelyround.Whatareyouupto?” Inonemomentanimpenetrablebarrierhadbeenerectedbetweenthem.Theywerenolongerinsmilingconfidence.Mrs.Herritonwasoffontacticsofherown—tacticswhichmightbebeyondorbeneathhim. Hisremarkoffendedher.“Upto?IamwonderingwhetherIoughtnottoadoptthechild.Isthatsufficientlyplain?” “Andthisistheresultofhalf-a-dozenidiociesofMissAbbott?” “Itis.Irepeat,shehasbeenextremelyimpertinent.Nonethelesssheisshowingmemyduty.IfIcanrescuepoorLilia’sbabyfromthathorribleman,whowillbringitupeitherasPapistorinfidel—whowillcertainlybringituptobevicious—Ishalldoit.” “YoutalklikeHarriet.” “Andwhynot?”saidshe,flushingatwhatsheknewtobeaninsult.“Say,ifyouchoose,thatItalklikeIrma.Thatchildhasseenthethingmoreclearlythananyofus.Shelongsforherlittlebrother.Sheshallhavehim.Idon’tcareifIamimpulsive.” Hewassurethatshewasnotimpulsive,butdidnotdaretosayso.Herabilityfrightenedhim.Allhislifehehadbeenherpuppet.ShelethimworshipItaly,andreformSawston—justasshehadletHarrietbeLowChurch.Shehadlethimtalkasmuchasheliked.Butwhenshewantedathingshealwaysgotit. Andthoughshewasfrighteninghim,shedidnotinspirehimwithreverence.Herlife,hesaw,waswithoutmeaning.Towhatpurposewasherdiplomacy,herinsincerity,hercontinuedrepressionofvigour?Didtheymakeanyonebetterorhappier?Didtheyevenbringhappinesstoherself?Harrietwithhergloomypeevishcreed,Liliawithherclutchesafterpleasure,wereafterallmoredivinethanthiswell-ordered,active,uselessmachine. Nowthathismotherhadwoundedhisvanityhecouldcriticizeherthus.Buthecouldnotrebel.Totheendofhisdayshecouldprobablygoondoingwhatshewanted.HewatchedwithacoldinteresttheduelbetweenherandMissAbbott.Mrs.Herriton’spolicyonlyappearedgradually.ItwastopreventMissAbbottinterferingwiththechildatallcosts,andifpossibletopreventheratasmallcost.Pridewastheonlysolidelementinherdisposition.Shecouldnotbeartoseemlesscharitablethanothers. “Iamplanningwhatcanbedone,”shewouldtellpeople,“andthatkindCarolineAbbottishelpingme.Itisnobusinessofeitherofus,butwearegettingtofeelthatthebabymustnotbeleftentirelytothathorribleman.ItwouldbeunfairtolittleIrmaafterall,heisherhalf-brother.No,wehavecometonothingdefinite.” MissAbbottwasequallycivil,butnottobeappeasedbygoodintentions.Thechild’swelfarewasasacreddutytoher,notamatterofprideorevenofsentiment.Byitalone,shefelt,couldsheundoalittleoftheevilthatshehadpermittedtoco
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