Chapter XXXVI

dfeltthattheywerestrangers.Hardlyunderstandingtheimpossibilityofwhatshedesired,sheplacedallherlove,allherfacultyofexpansion,ononeperson,onEdward,makingafinaleffort,asitwere,tobreakthebarrierofconsciousnessandunitehersoulwithhis.Shedrewhimtowardsherwithallhermight,Edwardtheman,seekingtoknowhiminthedepthsofhisheart,yearningtoloseherselfinhim.Butatlastshesawthatwhatshehadstrivenforwasunattainable.Imyselfstandononesideandtherestoftheworldontheother.Thereisanabyssbetween,thatnopowercancross,astrangebarriermoreinsuperablethanamountainoffire.Noteventhemostdevotedloversknowtheessentialsofoneanother’sselves.Howeverardenttheirpassion,howeverintimatetheirunion,theyarealwaysstrangersscarcelymoretooneanotherthanchanceacquaintance. Andwhenshediscoveredthis,withmanytearsandafterbitterheartache,Bertharetiredintoherself.Butsoonshefoundsolace.Inhersilenceshebuiltaworldofherown,andkeptitfromtheeyesofeverylivingsoul,knowingthatnonecouldunderstandit.Andthenalltieswereirksome,allearthlyattachmentsunnecessary. Confusedlythinkingthesethings,Bertha’sthoughtsrevertedtoEdward. “IfIhadbeenkeepingadiaryofmyemotions,Ishouldcloseitto-day,withthewords,‘Myhusbandhasbrokenhisneck.’” Butshewaspainedatherowncallousness. “Poorfellow,”shemurmured.“Hewashonestandkindandforbearing.Hedidallhecould,andtriedalwaystoactlikeagentleman.Hewasveryusefulintheworld,and,inhisownway,hewasfondofme.HisonlyfaultwasthatIlovedhim—andceasedtolovehim.” ByhersidelaythebookshehadreadwhilewaitingforEdwardwhenhewashunting.Berthahadputitonthetableopen,face-downwards,whensherosefromthesofatoreceivetheexpectedvisitorandithadremainedassheleftit.Shewastiredofthinkingandtakingitnow,begantoreadquietly. THEEND