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undoubtedlyinunisonwithoursituation,andwiththoselivelyfeelingswhichIknowyoutopossess.But,atthesametime,itisnotformetosuffersuchasacrificeasitmustbetoleaverelationstowhomyouaresomuchattached,andaresodear.MyremainingherecannotgivethatpleasuretoMr.andMrs.Vernonwhichyoursocietymustandmyvisithasalreadyperhapsbeentoolong.Myremoval,therefore,whichmust,atanyrate,takeplacesoon,may,withperfectconvenience,behastenedandImakeitmyparticularrequestthatImaynotinanywaybeinstrumentalinseparatingafamilysoaffectionatelyattachedtoeachother.WhereIgoisofnoconsequencetoanyoneofverylittletomyselfbutyouareofimportancetoallyourconnections.”HereIconcluded,andIhopeyouwillbesatisfiedwithmyspeech.ItseffectonReginaldjustifiessomeportionofvanity,foritwasnolessfavourablethaninstantaneous.Oh,howdelightfulitwastowatchthevariationsofhiscountenancewhileIspoke!toseethestrugglebetweenreturningtendernessandtheremainsofdispleasure.ThereissomethingagreeableinfeelingssoeasilyworkedonnotthatIenvyhimtheirpossession,norwould,fortheworld,havesuchmyselfbuttheyareveryconvenientwhenonewishestoinfluencethepassionsofanother.AndyetthisReginald,whomaveryfewwordsfrommesoftenedatonceintotheutmostsubmission,andrenderedmoretractable,moreattached,moredevotedthanever,wouldhaveleftmeinthefirstangryswellingofhisproudheartwithoutdeigningtoseekanexplanation.Humbledashenowis,Icannotforgivehimsuchaninstanceofpride,andamdoubtfulwhetherIoughtnottopunishhimbydismissinghimatonceafterthisreconciliation,orbymarryingandteazinghimforever.Butthesemeasuresareeachtooviolenttobeadoptedwithoutsomedeliberationatpresentmythoughtsarefluctuatingbetweenvariousschemes.Ihavemanythingst