CHAPTER XXXIV

enI’llrest.Well,nevermindMr.Green:astorepentingofmyinjustices,I’vedonenoinjustice,andIrepentofnothing.I’mtoohappyandyetI’mnothappyenough.Mysoul’sblisskillsmybody,butdoesnotsatisfyitself.” “Happy,master?”Icried.“Strangehappiness!Ifyouwouldhearmewithoutbeingangry,Imightoffersomeadvicethatwouldmakeyouhappier.” “Whatisthat?”heasked.“Giveit.” “Youareaware,Mr.Heathcliff,”Isaid,“thatfromthetimeyouwerethirteenyearsoldyouhavelivedaselfish,unchristianlifeandprobablyhardlyhadaBibleinyourhandsduringallthatperiod.Youmusthaveforgottenthecontentsofthebook,andyoumaynothavespacetosearchitnow.Coulditbehurtfultosendforsomeone—someministerofanydenomination,itdoesnotmatterwhich—toexplainit,andshowyouhowveryfaryouhaveerredfromitspreceptsandhowunfityouwillbeforitsheaven,unlessachangetakesplacebeforeyoudie?” “I’mratherobligedthanangry,Nelly,”hesaid,“foryouremindmeofthemannerinwhichIdesiretobeburied.Itistobecarriedtothechurchyardintheevening.YouandHaretonmay,ifyouplease,accompanyme:andmind,particularly,tonoticethatthesextonobeysmydirectionsconcerningthetwocoffins!Noministerneedcomenorneedanythingbesaidoverme.—ItellyouIhavenearlyattainedmyheavenandthatofothersisaltogetherunvaluedanduncovetedbyme.” “Andsupposingyouperseveredinyourobstinatefast,anddiedbythatmeans,andtheyrefusedtoburyyouintheprecinctsofthekirk?”Isaid,shockedathisgodlessindifference.“Howwouldyoulikeit?” “Theywon’tdothat,”hereplied:“iftheydid,youmusthavemeremovedsecretlyandifyouneglectityoushallprove,practically,thatthedeadarenotannihilated!” Assoonasheheardtheothermembersofthefamilystirringheretiredtohisden,andIbreathedfreer.Butintheafternoon,whileJosephandHaretonwereattheirwork,hecameintothekitchenagain,and,withawildlook,bidmecomeandsitinthehouse:hewantedsomebodywithhim.Ideclinedtellinghimplainlythathisstrangetalkandmannerfrightenedme,andIhadneitherthenervenorthewilltobehiscompanionalone. “Ibelieveyouthinkmeafiend,”hesaid,withhisdismallaugh:“somethingtoohorribletoliveunderadecentroof.”ThenturningtoCatherine,whowasthere,andwhodrewbehindmeathisapproach,headded,halfsneeringly,—“Willyoucome,chuck?I’llnothurtyou.No!toyouI’vemademyselfworsethanthedevil.Well,thereisonewhowon’tshrinkfrommycompany!ByGod!she’srelentless.Oh,damnit!It’sunutterablytoomuchforfleshandbloodtobear—evenmine.” Hesolicitedthesocietyofnoonemore.Atduskhewentintohischamber.Throughthewholenight,andfarintothemorning,weheardhimgroaningandmurmuringtohimself.HaretonwasanxioustoenterbutIbidhimfetchMr.Kenneth,andheshouldgoinandseehim.Whenhecame,andIrequestedadmittanceandtriedtoopenthedoor,IfounditlockedandHeathcliffbidusbedamned.Hewasbetter,andwouldbeleftalonesothedoctorwentaway. Thefollowingeveningwasverywet:indeed,itpoureddowntillday-dawnand,asItookmymorningwalkroundthehouse,Iobservedthemaster’swindowswingingopen,andtheraindrivingstraightin.Hecannotbeinbed,Ithought:thoseshowerswoulddrenchhimthrough.Hemusteitherbeuporout.ButI’llmakenomoreado,I’llgoboldlyandlook. Havingsucceededinobtainingentrancewithanotherkey,Irantounclosethepanels,forthechamberwasvacantquicklypushingthemaside,Ipeepedin.Mr.Heathcliffwasthere—laidonhisback.Hiseyesmetminesokeenandfierce,Istartedandthenheseemedtosmile.Icouldnotthinkhimdead:buthisfaceandthroatwerewashedwithrainthebed-clothesdripped,andhewasperfectlystill.Thelattice,flappingtoandfro,hadgrazedonehandthatrestedonthesillnobloodtrickledfromthebrokenskin,andwhenIputmyfingerstoit,Icoulddoubtnomore:hewasdeadandstark! IhaspedthewindowIcombedhisblacklonghairfromhisforeheadItriedtoclosehiseyes:toextinguish,ifpossible,thatfrightful,life-likegazeofexultationbeforeanyoneelsebeheldit.Theywouldnotshut:theyseemedtosneeratmyattemptsandhispartedlipsandsharpwhiteteethsneeredtoo!Takenwithanotherfitofcowardice,IcriedoutforJoseph.Josephshuffledupandmadeanoise,butresolutelyrefusedtomeddlewithhim. “Th’divil’sharriedoffhissoul,”hecried,“andhemayhev’hiscarcassintot’bargin,foraughtIcare!Ech!whatawicked’unhelooks,girningatdeath!”andtheoldsinnergrinnedinmockery.Ithoughtheintendedto