CHAPTER XXXIV

heoppositewall,asIsupposed,surveyingoneparticularportion,upanddown,withglittering,restlesseyes,andwithsucheagerinterestthathestoppedbreathingduringhalfaminutetogether. “Comenow,”Iexclaimed,pushingsomebreadagainsthishand,“eatanddrinkthat,whileitishot:ithasbeenwaitingnearanhour.” Hedidn’tnoticeme,andyethesmiled.I’dratherhaveseenhimgnashhisteeththansmileso. “Mr.Heathcliff!master!”Icried,“don’t,forGod’ssake,stareasifyousawanunearthlyvision.” “Don’t,forGod’ssake,shoutsoloud,”hereplied.“Turnround,andtellme,arewebyourselves?” “Ofcourse,”wasmyanswer“ofcourseweare.” Still,Iinvoluntarilyobeyedhim,asifIwasnotquitesure.Withasweepofhishandheclearedavacantspaceinfrontamongthebreakfastthings,andleantforwardtogazemoreathisease. Now,IperceivedhewasnotlookingatthewallforwhenIregardedhimalone,itseemedexactlythathegazedatsomethingwithintwoyards’distance.Andwhateveritwas,itcommunicated,apparently,bothpleasureandpaininexquisiteextremes:atleasttheanguished,yetraptured,expressionofhiscountenancesuggestedthatidea.Thefanciedobjectwasnotfixed,either:hiseyespursueditwithunwearieddiligence,and,eveninspeakingtome,wereneverweanedaway.Ivainlyremindedhimofhisprotractedabstinencefromfood:ifhestirredtotouchanythingincompliancewithmyentreaties,ifhestretchedhishandouttogetapieceofbread,hisfingersclenchedbeforetheyreachedit,andremainedonthetable,forgetfuloftheiraim. Isat,amodelofpatience,tryingtoattracthisabsorbedattentionfromitsengrossingspeculationtillhegrewirritable,andgotup,askingwhyIwouldnotallowhimtohavehisowntimeintakinghismeals?andsayingthatonthenextoccasionIneedn’twait:Imightsetthethingsdownandgo.Havingutteredthesewordsheleftthehouse,slowlysauntereddownthegardenpath,anddisappearedthroughthegate. Thehourscreptanxiouslyby:anothereveningcame.Ididnotretiretoresttilllate,andwhenIdid,Icouldnotsleep.Hereturnedaftermidnight,and,insteadofgoingtobed,shuthimselfintotheroombeneath.Ilistened,andtossedabout,and,finally,dressedanddescended.Itwastooirksometoliethere,harassingmybrainwithahundredidlemisgivings. IdistinguishedMr.Heathcliff’sstep,restlesslymeasuringthefloor,andhefrequentlybrokethesilencebyadeepinspiration,resemblingagroan.HemuttereddetachedwordsalsotheonlyoneIcouldcatchwasthenameofCatherine,coupledwithsomewildtermofendearmentorsufferingandspokenasonewouldspeaktoapersonpresentlowandearnest,andwrungfromthedepthofhissoul.IhadnotcouragetowalkstraightintotheapartmentbutIdesiredtodiverthimfromhisreverie,andthereforefellfoulofthekitchenfire,stirredit,andbegantoscrapethecinders.ItdrewhimforthsoonerthanIexpected.Heopenedthedoorimmediately,andsaid—“Nelly,comehere—isitmorning?Comeinwithyourlight.” “Itisstrikingfour,”Ianswered.“Youwantacandletotakeupstairs:youmighthavelitoneatthisfire.” “No,Idon’twishtogoupstairs,”hesaid.“Comein,andkindlemeafire,anddoanythingthereistodoabouttheroom.” “Imustblowthecoalsredfirst,beforeIcancarryany,”Ireplied,gettingachairandthebellows. Heroamedtoandfro,meantime,inastateapproachingdistractionhisheavysighssucceedingeachothersothickastoleavenospaceforcommonbreathingbetween. “WhendaybreaksI’llsendforGreen,”hesaid“IwishtomakesomelegalinquiriesofhimwhileIcanbestowathoughtonthosematters,andwhileIcanactcalmly.IhavenotwrittenmywillyetandhowtoleavemypropertyIcannotdetermine.IwishIcouldannihilateitfromthefaceoftheearth.” “Iwouldnottalkso,Mr.Heathcliff,”Iinterposed.“Letyourwillbeawhile:you’llbesparedtorepentofyourmanyinjusticesyet!Ineverexpectedthatyournerveswouldbedisordered:theyare,atpresent,marvellouslyso,howeverandalmostentirelythroughyourownfault.Thewayyou’vepassedthesethreelastdaysmightknockupaTitan.Dotakesomefood,andsomerepose.Youneedonlylookatyourselfinaglasstoseehowyourequireboth.Yourcheeksarehollow,andyoureyesblood-shot,likeapersonstarvingwithhungerandgoingblindwithlossofsleep.” “ItisnotmyfaultthatIcannoteatorrest,”hereplied.“Iassureyouitisthroughnosettleddesigns.I’lldoboth,assoonasIpossiblycan.Butyoumightaswellbidamanstrugglinginthewaterrestwithinarms’lengthoftheshore!Imustreachitfirst,andth