CHAPTER XLVI

oher. Thecarriagecameandheenteredthehouseagainatthesamemoment,justintimetospendafewminuteswiththefamily,andbeawitness—butthathesawnothing—ofthetranquilmannerinwhichthedaughterswerepartedwith,andjustintimetopreventtheirsittingdowntothebreakfast-table,which,bydintofmuchunusualactivity,wasquiteandcompletelyreadyasthecarriagedrovefromthedoor.Fanny’slastmealinherfather’shousewasincharacterwithherfirst:shewasdismissedfromitashospitablyasshehadbeenwelcomed. HowherheartswelledwithjoyandgratitudeasshepassedthebarriersofPortsmouth,andhowSusan’sfaceworeitsbroadestsmiles,maybeeasilyconceived.Sittingforwards,however,andscreenedbyherbonnet,thosesmileswereunseen. Thejourneywaslikelytobeasilentone.Edmund’sdeepsighsoftenreachedFanny.Hadhebeenalonewithher,hisheartmusthaveopenedinspiteofeveryresolutionbutSusan’spresencedrovehimquiteintohimself,andhisattemptstotalkonindifferentsubjectscouldneverbelongsupported. Fannywatchedhimwithnever-failingsolicitude,andsometimescatchinghiseye,revivedanaffectionatesmile,whichcomfortedherbutthefirstday’sjourneypassedwithoutherhearingawordfromhimonthesubjectsthatwereweighinghimdown.Thenextmorningproducedalittlemore.JustbeforetheirsettingoutfromOxford,whileSusanwasstationedatawindow,ineagerobservationofthedepartureofalargefamilyfromtheinn,theothertwowerestandingbythefireandEdmund,particularlystruckbythealterationinFanny’slooks,andfromhisignoranceofthedailyevilsofherfather’shouse,attributinganundueshareofthechange,attributingalltotherecentevent,tookherhand,andsaidinalow,butveryexpressivetone,“Nowonder—youmustfeelit—youmustsuffer.Howamanwhohadonceloved,coulddesertyou!Butyours—yourregardwasnewcomparedwith——Fanny,thinkofme!” Thefirstdivisionoftheirjourneyoccupiedalongday,andbroughtthem,almostknockedup,toOxfordbutthesecondwasoveratamuchearlierhour.TheywereintheenvironsofMansfieldlongbeforetheusualdinner-time,andastheyapproachedthebelovedplace,theheartsofbothsisterssankalittle.FannybegantodreadthemeetingwithherauntsandTom,undersodreadfulahumiliationandSusantofeelwithsomeanxiety,thatallherbestmanners,allherlatelyacquiredknowledgeofwhatwaspractisedhere,wasonthepointofbeingcalledintoaction.Visionsofgoodandillbreeding,ofoldvulgarismsandnewgentilities,werebeforeherandshewasmeditatingmuchuponsilverforks,napkins,andfinger-glasses.FannyhadbeeneverywhereawaketothedifferenceofthecountrysinceFebruarybutwhentheyenteredtheParkherperceptionsandherpleasureswereofthekeenestsort.Itwasthreemonths,fullthreemonths,sinceherquittingit,andthechangewasfromwintertosummer.Hereyefelleverywhereonlawnsandplantationsofthefreshestgreenandthetrees,thoughnotfullyclothed,wereinthatdelightfulstatewhenfartherbeautyisknowntobeathand,andwhen,whilemuchisactuallygiventothesight,moreyetremainsfortheimagination.Herenjoyment,however,wasforherselfalone.Edmundcouldnotshareit.Shelookedathim,buthewasleaningback,sunkinadeepergloomthanever,andwitheyesclosed,asiftheviewofcheerfulnessoppressedhim,andthelovelyscenesofhomemustbeshutout. Itmadehermelancholyagainandtheknowledgeofwhatmustbeenduringthere,investedeventhehouse,modern,airy,andwellsituatedasitwas,withamelancholyaspect. Byoneofthesufferingpartywithintheywereexpectedwithsuchimpatienceasshehadneverknownbefore.Fannyhadscarcelypassedthesolemn-lookingservants,whenLadyBertramcamefromthedrawing-roomtomeethercamewithnoindolentstepandfallingonherneck,said,“DearFanny!nowIshallbecomfortable.”