CHAPTER XLVI

.RushworthandMr.Crawford. Fannyseemedtoherselfnevertohavebeenshockedbefore.Therewasnopossibilityofrest.Theeveningpassedwithoutapauseofmisery,thenightwastotallysleepless.Shepassedonlyfromfeelingsofsicknesstoshudderingsofhorrorandfromhotfitsoffevertocold.Theeventwassoshocking,thatthereweremomentsevenwhenherheartrevoltedfromitasimpossible:whenshethoughtitcouldnotbe.Awomanmarriedonlysixmonthsagoamanprofessinghimselfdevoted,evenengagedtoanotherthatotherhernearrelationthewholefamily,bothfamiliesconnectedastheywerebytieupontieallfriends,allintimatetogether!Itwastoohorribleaconfusionofguilt,toogrossacomplicationofevil,forhumannature,notinastateofutterbarbarism,tobecapableof!yetherjudgmenttoldheritwasso.Hisunsettledaffections,waveringwithhisvanity,Maria’sdecidedattachment,andnosufficientprincipleoneitherside,gaveitpossibility:MissCrawford’sletterstamptitafact. Whatwouldbetheconsequence?Whomwoulditnotinjure?Whoseviewsmightitnotaffect?Whosepeacewoulditnotcutupforever?MissCrawford,herself,Edmundbutitwasdangerous,perhaps,totreadsuchground.Sheconfinedherself,ortriedtoconfineherself,tothesimple,indubitablefamilymiserywhichmustenvelopall,ifitwereindeedamatterofcertifiedguiltandpublicexposure.Themother’ssufferings,thefather’sthereshepaused.Julia’s,Tom’s,Edmund’sthereayetlongerpause.Theywerethetwoonwhomitwouldfallmosthorribly.SirThomas’sparentalsolicitudeandhighsenseofhonouranddecorum,Edmund’suprightprinciples,unsuspicioustemper,andgenuinestrengthoffeeling,madeherthinkitscarcelypossibleforthemtosupportlifeandreasonundersuchdisgraceanditappearedtoherthat,asfarasthisworldalonewasconcerned,thegreatestblessingtoeveryoneofkindredwithMrs.Rushworthwouldbeinstantannihilation. Nothinghappenedthenextday,orthenext,toweakenherterrors.Twopostscamein,andbroughtnorefutation,publicorprivate.TherewasnosecondlettertoexplainawaythefirstfromMissCrawfordtherewasnointelligencefromMansfield,thoughitwasnowfulltimeforhertohearagainfromheraunt.Thiswasanevilomen.Shehad,indeed,scarcelytheshadowofahopetosoothehermind,andwasreducedtosolowandwanandtremblingacondition,asnomother,notunkind,exceptMrs.Pricecouldhaveoverlooked,whenthethirddaydidbringthesickeningknock,andaletterwasagainputintoherhands.ItboretheLondonpostmark,andcamefromEdmund. “DearFanny,—Youknowourpresentwretchedness.MayGodsupportyouunderyourshare!Wehavebeenheretwodays,butthereisnothingtobedone.Theycannotbetraced.Youmaynothaveheardofthelastblow—Julia’selopementsheisgonetoScotlandwithYates.SheleftLondonafewhoursbeforeweenteredit.Atanyothertimethiswouldhavebeenfeltdreadfully.Nowitseemsnothingyetitisanheavyaggravation.Myfatherisnotoverpowered.Morecannotbehoped.HeisstillabletothinkandactandIwrite,byhisdesire,toproposeyourreturninghome.Heisanxioustogetyouthereformymother’ssake.IshallbeatPortsmouththemorningafteryoureceivethis,andhopetofindyoureadytosetoffforMansfield.MyfatherwishesyoutoinviteSusantogowithyouforafewmonths.SettleitasyoulikesaywhatisproperIamsureyouwillfeelsuchaninstanceofhiskindnessatsuchamoment!Dojusticetohismeaning,howeverImayconfuseit.Youmayimaginesomethingofmypresentstate.Thereisnoendoftheevilletlooseuponus.Youwillseemeearlybythemail.—Yours,etc.” NeverhadFannymorewantedacordial.Neverhadshefeltsuchaoneasthislettercontained.To-morrow!toleavePortsmouthto-morrow!Shewas,shefeltshewas,inthegreatestdangerofbeingexquisitelyhappy,whilesomanyweremiserable.Theevilwhichbroughtsuchgoodtoher!She