CHAPTER XLV

himasthesortofpersontobemadeafusswith,andtomakeafusshimselfinanytriflingdisorder,andwaschieflyconcernedforthosewhohadtonursehimbutnowitisconfidentlyassertedthatheisreallyinadecline,thatthesymptomsaremostalarming,andthatpartofthefamily,atleast,areawareofit.Ifitbeso,Iamsureyoumustbeincludedinthatpart,thatdiscerningpart,andthereforeentreatyoutoletmeknowhowfarIhavebeenrightlyinformed.IneednotsayhowrejoicedIshallbetoheartherehasbeenanymistake,butthereportissoprevalentthatIconfessIcannothelptrembling.Tohavesuchafineyoungmancutoffintheflowerofhisdaysismostmelancholy.PoorSirThomaswillfeelitdreadfully.Ireallyamquiteagitatedonthesubject.Fanny,Fanny,Iseeyousmileandlookcunning,but,uponmyhonour,Ineverbribedaphysicianinmylife.Pooryoungman!Ifheistodie,therewillbetwopooryoungmenlessintheworldandwithafearlessfaceandboldvoicewouldIsaytoanyone,thatwealthandconsequencecouldfallintonohandsmoredeservingofthem.ItwasafoolishprecipitationlastChristmas,buttheevilofafewdaysmaybeblottedoutinpart.Varnishandgildinghidemanystains.ItwillbebutthelossoftheEsquireafterhisname.Withrealaffection,Fanny,likemine,moremightbeoverlooked.Writetomebyreturnofpost,judgeofmyanxiety,anddonottriflewithit.Tellmetherealtruth,asyouhaveitfromthefountainhead.Andnow,donottroubleyourselftobeashamedofeithermyfeelingsoryourown.Believeme,theyarenotonlynatural,theyarephilanthropicandvirtuous.Iputittoyourconscience,whether‘SirEdmund’wouldnotdomoregoodwithalltheBertrampropertythananyotherpossible‘Sir.’HadtheGrantsbeenathomeIwouldnothavetroubledyou,butyouarenowtheonlyoneIcanapplytoforthetruth,hissistersnotbeingwithinmyreach.Mrs.R.hasbeenspendingtheEasterwiththeAylmersatTwickenham(astobesureyouknow),andisnotyetreturnedandJuliaiswiththecousinswholivenearBedfordSquare,butIforgettheirnameandstreet.CouldIimmediatelyapplytoeither,however,Ishouldstillpreferyou,becauseitstrikesmethattheyhaveallalongbeensounwillingtohavetheirownamusementscutup,astoshuttheireyestothetruth.IsupposeMrs.R.’sEasterholidayswillnotlastmuchlongernodoubttheyarethoroughholidaystoher.TheAylmersarepleasantpeopleandherhusbandaway,shecanhavenothingbutenjoyment.IgivehercreditforpromotinghisgoingdutifullydowntoBath,tofetchhismotherbuthowwillsheandthedowageragreeinonehouse?Henryisnotathand,soIhavenothingtosayfromhim.DonotyouthinkEdmundwouldhavebeenintownagainlongago,butforthisillness?—Yoursever,Mary.” “IhadactuallybegunfoldingmyletterwhenHenrywalkedin,buthebringsnointelligencetopreventmysendingit.Mrs.R.knowsadeclineisapprehendedhesawherthismorning:shereturnstoWimpoleStreetto-daytheoldladyiscome.Nowdonotmakeyourselfuneasywithanyqueerfanciesbecausehehasbeensp