CHAPTER XLIV

Sevenweeksofthetwomonthswereverynearlygone,whentheoneletter,theletterfromEdmund,solongexpected,wasputintoFanny’shands.Assheopened,andsawitslength,shepreparedherselfforaminutedetailofhappinessandaprofusionofloveandpraisetowardsthefortunatecreaturewhowasnowmistressofhisfate.Thesewerethecontents— “MyDearFanny,—ExcusemethatIhavenotwrittenbefore.Crawfordtoldmethatyouwerewishingtohearfromme,butIfounditimpossibletowritefromLondon,andpersuadedmyselfthatyouwouldunderstandmysilence.CouldIhavesentafewhappylines,theyshouldnothavebeenwanting,butnothingofthatnaturewaseverinmypower.IamreturnedtoMansfieldinalessassuredstatethanwhenIleftit.Myhopesaremuchweaker.Youareprobablyawareofthisalready.SoveryfondofyouasMissCrawfordis,itismostnaturalthatsheshouldtellyouenoughofherownfeelingstofurnishatolerableguessatmine.Iwillnotbeprevented,however,frommakingmyowncommunication.Ourconfidencesinyouneednotclash.Iasknoquestions.Thereissomethingsoothingintheideathatwehavethesamefriend,andthatwhateverunhappydifferencesofopinionmayexistbetweenus,weareunitedinourloveofyou.Itwillbeacomforttometotellyouhowthingsnoware,andwhataremypresentplans,ifplansIcanbesaidtohave.IhavebeenreturnedsinceSaturday.IwasthreeweeksinLondon,andsawher(forLondon)veryoften.IhadeveryattentionfromtheFrasersthatcouldbereasonablyexpected.IdaresayIwasnotreasonableincarryingwithmehopesofanintercourseatalllikethatofMansfield.Itwashermanner,however,ratherthananyunfrequencyofmeeting.HadshebeendifferentwhenIdidseeher,Ishouldhavemadenocomplaint,butfromtheveryfirstshewasaltered:myfirstreceptionwassounlikewhatIhadhoped,thatIhadalmostresolvedonleavingLondonagaindirectly.Ineednotparticularise.Youknowtheweaksideofhercharacter,andmayimaginethesentimentsandexpressionswhichweretorturingme.Shewasinhighspirits,andsurroundedbythosewhoweregivingallthesupportoftheirownbadsensetohertoolivelymind.IdonotlikeMrs.Fraser.Sheisacold-hearted,vainwoman,whohasmarriedentirelyfromconvenience,andthoughevidentlyunhappyinhermarriage,placesherdisappointmentnottofaultsofjudgment,ortemper,ordisproportionofage,buttoherbeing,afterall,lessaffluentthanmanyofheracquaintance,especiallythanhersister,LadyStornaway,andisthedeterminedsupporterofeverythingmercenaryandambitious,provideditbeonlymercenaryandambitiousenough.Ilookuponherintimacywiththosetwosistersasthegreatestmisfortuneofherlifeandmine.Theyhavebeenleadingherastrayforyears.Couldshebedetachedfromthem!—andsometimesIdonotdespairofit,fortheaffectionappearstomeprincipallyontheirside.TheyareveryfondofherbutIamsureshedoesnotlovethemasshelovesyou.WhenIthinkofhergreatattachmenttoyou,indeed,andthewholeofherjudicious,uprightconductasasister,sheappearsaverydifferentcreature,capableofeverythingnoble,andIamreadytoblamemyselfforatooharshconstructionofaplayfulmanner.Icannotgiveherup,Fanny.SheistheonlywomanintheworldwhomIcouldeverthinkofasawife.IfIdidnotbelievethatshehadsomeregardforme,ofcourseIshould