CHAPTER XXXIV

amecloseneighbourhood,hewenton,reurgingthesamequestionsasbefore.Shegrewmoreagitatedanddispleased. “Howcanyou,sir?YouquiteastonishmeIwonderhowyoucan—” “DoIastonishyou?”saidhe.“Doyouwonder?Isthereanythinginmypresententreatythatyoudonotunderstand?Iwillexplaintoyouinstantlyallthatmakesmeurgeyouinthismanner,allthatgivesmeaninterestinwhatyoulookanddo,andexcitesmypresentcuriosity.Iwillnotleaveyoutowonderlong.” Inspiteofherself,shecouldnothelphalfasmile,butshesaidnothing. “YoushookyourheadatmyacknowledgingthatIshouldnotliketoengageinthedutiesofaclergymanalwaysforaconstancy.Yes,thatwastheword.Constancy:Iamnotafraidoftheword.Iwouldspellit,readit,writeitwithanybody.Iseenothingalarmingintheword.DidyouthinkIought?” “Perhaps,sir,”saidFanny,weariedatlastintospeaking—“perhaps,sir,Ithoughtitwasapityyoudidnotalwaysknowyourselfaswellasyouseemedtodoatthatmoment.” Crawford,delightedtogethertospeakatanyrate,wasdeterminedtokeepitupandpoorFanny,whohadhopedtosilencehimbysuchanextremityofreproof,foundherselfsadlymistaken,andthatitwasonlyachangefromoneobjectofcuriosityandonesetofwordstoanother.Hehadalwayssomethingtoentreattheexplanationof.Theopportunitywastoofair.Nonesuchhadoccurredsincehisseeingherinheruncle’sroom,nonesuchmightoccuragainbeforehisleavingMansfield.LadyBertram’sbeingjustontheothersideofthetablewasatrifle,forshemightalwaysbeconsideredasonlyhalf-awake,andEdmund’sadvertisementswerestillofthefirstutility. “Well,”saidCrawford,afteracourseofrapidquestionsandreluctantanswers“IamhappierthanIwas,becauseInowunderstandmoreclearlyyouropinionofme.Youthinkmeunsteady:easilyswayedbythewhimofthemoment,easilytempted,easilyputaside.Withsuchanopinion,nowonderthat—Butweshallsee.—ItisnotbyprotestationsthatIshallendeavourtoconvinceyouIamwrongeditisnotbytellingyouthatmyaffectionsaresteady.Myconductshallspeakformeabsence,distance,timeshallspeakforme.Theyshallprovethat,asfarasyoucanbedeservedbyanybody,Idodeserveyou.YouareinfinitelymysuperiorinmeritallthatIknow.YouhavequalitieswhichIhadnotbeforesupposedtoexistinsuchadegreeinanyhumancreature.Youhavesometouchesoftheangelinyoubeyondwhat—notmerelybeyondwhatonesees,becauseoneneverseesanythinglikeit—butbeyondwhatonefanciesmightbe.ButstillIamnotfrightened.Itisnotbyequalityofmeritthatyoucanbewon.Thatisoutofthequestion.Itishewhoseesandworshipsyourmeritthestrongest,wholovesyoumostdevotedly,thathasthebestrighttoareturn.ThereIbuildmyconfidence.BythatrightIdoandwilldeserveyouandwhenonceconvincedthatmyattachmentiswhatIdeclareit,Iknowyoutoowellnottoentertainthewarmesthopes.Yes,dearest,sweetestFanny.Nay”(seeingherdrawbackdispleased),“forgiveme.PerhapsIhaveasyetnorightbutbywhatothernamecanIcallyou?Doyousupposeyouareeverpresenttomyimaginationunderanyother?No,itis‘Fanny’thatIthinkofallday,anddreamofallnight.Youhavegiventhenamesuchrealityofsweetness,thatnothingelsecannowbedescriptiveofyou.” Fannycouldhardlyhavekeptherseatanylonger,orhaverefrainedfromatleasttryingtogetawayinspiteofallthetoopublicoppositionsheforesawtoit,haditnotbeenforthesoundofapproachingrelief,theverysoundwhichshehadbeenlongwatchingfor,andlongthinkingstrangelydelayed. Thesolemnprocession,headedbyBaddeley,oftea-board,urn,andcake-bearers,madeitsappearance,anddeliveredherfromagrievousimprisonmentofbodyandmind.Mr.Crawfordwasobligedtomove.Shewasatliberty,shewasbusy,shewasprotected. Edmundwasnotsorrytobeadmittedagainamongthenumberofthosewhomightspeakandhear.Butthoughtheconferencehadseemedfulllongtohim,andthoughonlookingatFannyhesawratheraflushofvexation,heinclinedtohopethatsomuchcouldnothavebeensaidandlistenedtowithoutsomeprofittothespeaker.