Chapter 2. THE MAN FROM SOMEWHERE

dn’t,tothemanfromSomewhere.Beingaboyoffourteen,cheaplyeducatedatBrusselswhenhissister’sexpulsionbefell,itwassomelittletimebeforeheheardofit—probablyfromherself,forthemotherwasdeadbutthatIdon’tknow.Instantly,heabsconded,andcameoverhere.Hemusthavebeenaboyofspiritandresource,togethereonastoppedallowanceoffivesousaweekbuthediditsomehow,andheburstinonhisfather,andpleadedhissister’scause.Venerableparentpromptlyresortstoanathematization,andturnshimout.Shockedandterrifiedboytakesflight,seekshisfortune,getsaboardship,ultimatelyturnsupondrylandamongtheCapewine:smallproprietor,farmer,grower—whateveryouliketocallit.’ Atthisjuncture,shufflingisheardinthehall,andtappingisheardatthedining-roomdoor.AnalyticalChemistgoestothedoor,confersangrilywithunseentapper,appearstobecomemollifiedbydescryingreasoninthetapping,andgoesout. ‘Sohewasdiscovered,onlytheotherday,afterhavingbeenexpatriatedaboutfourteenyears.’ ABuffer,suddenlyastoundingtheotherthree,bydetachinghimself,andassertingindividuality,inquires:‘Howdiscovered,andwhy?’ ‘Ah!Tobesure.Thankyouforremindingme.Venerableparentdies.’ SameBuffer,emboldenedbysuccess,says:‘When?’ ‘Theotherday.Tenortwelvemonthsago.’ SameBufferinquireswithsmartness,‘Whatof?’ButhereinperishesamelancholyexamplebeingregardedbythethreeotherBufferswithastonystare,andattractingnofurtherattentionfromanymortal. ‘Venerableparent,’MortimerrepeatswithapassingremembrancethatthereisaVeneeringattable,andforthefirsttimeaddressinghim—‘dies.’ ThegratifiedVeneeringrepeats,gravely,‘dies’andfoldshisarms,andcomposeshisbrowtohearitoutinajudicialmanner,whenhefindshimselfagaindesertedinthebleakworld. ‘Hiswillisfound,’saidMortimer,catchingMrsPodsnap’srocking-horse’seye.‘Itisdatedverysoonaftertheson’sflight.Itleavesthelowestoftherangeofdust-mountains,withsomesortofadwelling-houseatitsfoot,toanoldservantwhoissoleexecutor,andalltherestoftheproperty—whichisveryconsiderable—totheson.Hedirectshimselftobeburiedwithcertaineccentricceremoniesandprecautionsagainsthiscomingtolife,withwhichIneednotboreyou,andthat’sall—except—’andthisendsthestory. TheAnalyticalChemistreturning,everybodylooksathim.Notbecauseanybodywantstoseehim,butbecauseofthatsubtleinfluenceinnaturewhichimpelshumanitytoembracetheslightestopportunityoflookingatanything,ratherthanthepersonwhoaddressesit. ‘—Exceptthattheson’sinheritingismadeconditionalonhismarryingagirl,whoatthedateofthewill,wasachildoffourorfiveyearsold,andwhoisnowamarriageableyoungwoman.AdvertisementandinquirydiscoveredthesoninthemanfromSomewhere,andatthepresentmoment,heisonhiswayhomefromthere—nodoubt,inastateofgreatastonishment—tosucceedtoaverylargefortune,andtotakeawife.’ MrsPodsnapinquireswhethertheyoungpersonisayoungpersonofpersonalcharms?Mortimerisunabletoreport. MrPodsnapinquireswhatwouldbecomeoftheverylargefortune,intheeventofthemarriageconditionnotbeingfulfilled?Mortimerreplies,thatbyspecialtestamentaryclauseitwouldthengototheoldservantabovementioned,passingoverandexcludingthesonalso,thatifthesonhadnotbeenliving,thesameoldservantwouldhavebeensoleresiduarylegatee. MrsVeneeringhasjustsucceededinwakingLadyTippinsfromasnore,bydexterouslyshuntingatrainofplatesanddishesatherknucklesacrossthetablewheneverybodybutMortimerhimselfbecomesawarethattheAnalyticalChemistis,inaghostlymanner,offeringhimafoldedpaper.CuriositydetainsMrsVeneeringafewmoments. Mortimer,inspiteofalltheartsofthechemist,placidlyrefresheshimselfwithaglassofMadeira,andremainsunconsciousoftheDocumentwhichengrossesthegeneralattention,untilLadyTippins(whohasahabitofwakingtotallyinsensible),havingrememberedwheresheis,andrecoveredaperceptionofsurroundingobjects,says:‘FalsermanthanDonJuanwhydon’tyoutakethenotefromthecommendatore?’Uponwhich,thechemistadvancesitunderthenoseofMortimer,wholooksroundathim,andsays: ‘What’sthis?’ AnalyticalChemistbendsandwhispers. ‘Who?’SaysMortimer. AnalyticalChemistagainbendsandwhispers. Mortimerstaresathim,andunfoldsthepaper.Readsit,readsittwice,turnsitovertolookattheblankoutside,readsitathirdtime. ‘Thisarrivesinanextraordinarilyopportunemanner,’saysMortimerthen,lookingwithanalteredfaceroundthetable:‘thisistheconclusionofthestoryoftheidenticalman.’ ‘Alreadymarried?’oneguesses. ‘Declinestomarry?’anotherguesses. ‘Codicilamongthedust?’anotherguesses. ‘Why,no,’saysMortimer‘remarkablething,youareallwrong.ThestoryiscompleterandrathermoreexcitingthanIsupposed.Man’sdrowned!’