CHAPTER XXX. RUSHEDGE—A CONFESSIONAL.

cameyouratmosphere,andcontentyourelementsupposingthatwheneverherfacewasunderyourgaze,orherideafilledyourthoughts,yougraduallyceasedtobehardandanxious,andpureaffection,loveofhome,thirstforsweetdiscourse,unselfishlongingtoprotectandcherish,replacedthesordid,cankeringcalculationsofyourtradesupposing,withallthis,thatmanyatime,whenyouhadbeensohappyastopossessyourMary'slittlehand,youhadfeltittrembleasyouheldit,justasawarmlittlebirdtrembleswhenyoutakeitfromitsnestsupposingyouhadnoticedhershrinkintothebackgroundonyourentranceintoaroom,yetifyousoughtherinherretreatshewelcomedyouwiththesweetestsmilethateverlitafairvirginface,andonlyturnedhereyesfromtheencounterofyourownlesttheirclearnessshouldrevealtoomuchsupposing,inshort,yourMaryhadbeennotcold,butmodestnotvacant,butreflectivenotobtuse,butsensitivenotinane,butinnocentnotprudish,butpure,—wouldyouhavelefthertocourtanotherwomanforherwealth?" Mr.Yorkeraisedhishat,wipedhisforeheadwithhishandkerchief. "Themoonisup,"washisfirstnotquiterelevantremark,pointingwithhiswhipacrossthemoor."Theresheis,risingintothehaze,staringatuswi'astrangeredglower.SheisnomoresilverthanoldHelstone'sbrowisivory.WhatdoesshemeanbyleaninghercheekonRushedgei'thatway,andlookingatuswi'ascowlandamenace?" "Yorke,ifMaryhadlovedyousilentlyyetfaithfully,chastelyyetfervently,asyouwouldwishyourwifetolove,wouldyouhavelefther?" "Robert!"—heliftedhisarm,hehelditsuspended,andpaused—"Robert!thisisaqueerworld,andmenaremadeofthequeerestdregsthatChaoschurnedupinherferment.Imightswearsoundingoaths—oathsthatwouldmakethepoachersthinktherewasabitternboominginBilberryMoss—that,inthecaseyouput,deathonlyshouldhavepartedmefromMary.ButIhavelivedintheworldfifty-fiveyearsIhavebeenforcedtostudyhumannatureand,tospeakadarktruth,theoddsare,ifMaryhadlovedandnotscornedme,ifIhadbeensecureofheraffection,certainofherconstancy,beenirritatedbynodoubts,stungbynohumiliations—theoddsare"(helethishandfallheavyonthesaddle)—"theoddsareIshouldhavelefther!" Theyrodesidebysideinsilence.EreeitherspokeagaintheywereontheothersideofRushedge.Briarfieldlightsstarredthepurpleskirtofthemoor.Robert,beingtheyoungest,andhavinglessofthepasttoabsorbhimthanhiscomrade,recommencedfirst. "Ibelieve—Idailyfinditproved—thatwecangetnothinginthisworldworthkeeping,notsomuchasaprincipleoraconviction,exceptoutofpurifyingflameorthroughstrengtheningperil.Weerr,wefall,wearehumbledthenwewalkmorecarefully.Wegreedilyeatanddrinkpoisonoutofthegildedcupofviceorfromthebeggar'swalletofavarice.Wearesickened,degradedeverythinggoodinusrebelsagainstusoursoulsrisebitterlyindignantagainstourbodiesthereisaperiodofcivilwarifthesoulhasstrength,itconquersandrulesthereafter." "Whatartthougoingtodonow,Robert?Whatarethyplans?" "Formyprivateplans,I'llkeepthemtomyself—whichisveryeasy,asatpresentIhavenone.Noprivatelifeispermittedamaninmyposition—amanindebt.Formypublicplans,myviewsarealittlealtered.WhileIwasinBirminghamIlookedalittleintoreality,consideredcloselyandattheirsourcethecausesofthepresenttroublesofthiscountry.IdidthesameinLondon.Unknown,IcouldgowhereIpleased,mixwithwhomIwould.Iwentwheretherewaswantoffood,offuel,ofclothingwheretherewasnooccupationandnohope.Isawsome,withnaturallyelevatedtendenciesandgoodfeelings,keptdownamongstsordidprivationsandharassinggriefs.Isawmanyoriginallylow,andtowhomlackofeducationleftscarcelyanythingbutanimalwants,disappointedinthosewants,ahungered,athirst,anddesperateasfamishedanimals.Isawwhattaughtmybrainanewlesson,andfilledmybreastwithfreshfeelings.IhavenointentiontoprofessmoresoftnessorsentimentthanIhavehithertoprofessedmutinyandambitionIregardasIhavealwaysregardedthem.IshouldresistariotousmobjustasheretoforeIshouldopenonthescentofarunawayringleaderaseagerlyasever,andrunhimdownasrelentlessly,andfollowhimuptocondignpunishmentasrigorouslybutIshoulddoitnowchieflyforthesakeandthesecurityofthosehemisled.Somethingthereistolookto,Yorke,beyondaman'spersonalinterest,beyondtheadvancementofwell-laidschemes,beyondeventhedischargeofdishonouringdebts.Torespecthimself,amanmustbelieveherendersjusticetohisfellow-men.UnlessIammoreconsideratetoignorance,moreforbearingtosuffering,thanIhavehithertobeen,Ishallscornmyselfasgrosslyunjust.—Whatnow?"hesaid,addressinghishorse,which,hearingtherippleofwater,andfeelingthirsty,turnedtoawaysidetrough,wherethemoonbeamwasplayinginacrystaleddy. "Yorke,"pursuedMoore,"rideonImustlethimdrink." Yorkeaccordinglyrodeslowlyforwards,occupyinghimselfasheadvancedindiscriminating,amongstthemanylightsnowspanglingthedistance,thoseofBriarmains.Stilbro'Moorwasleftbehindplantationsroseduskoneitherhandtheyweredescendingthehillbelowthemlaythevalleywithitspopulousparish:theyfeltalreadyathome. Surroundednolongerbyheath,itwasnotstartlingtoMr.Yorketoseeahatrise,andtohearavoicespeakbehindthewall.Thewords,however,werepeculiar. "Whenthewickedperisheththereisshouting,"itsaidandadded,"Asthewhirlwindpasseth,soisthewickednomore"(withadeepergrowl):"terrorstakeholdofhimaswatershellisnakedbeforehim.Heshalldiewithoutknowledge." Afierceflashandsharpcrackviolatedthecalmofnight.Yorke,ereheturned,knewthefourconvictsofBirminghamwereavenged.