CHAPTER VII. THE CURATES AT TEA.

.Hewasusheredintothedining-room,where,doubtless,hespeedilyhelpedhisrectortoemptythedecanters. Itwasafacttobenoted,thatatwhateverhouseinBriarfield,Whinbury,orNunnelyonecuratedroppedintoameal—dinnerortea,as,thecasemightbe—anotherpresentlyfollowed,oftentwomore.Notthattheygaveeachothertherendezvous,buttheywereusuallyallontherunatthesametimeandwhenDonne,forinstance,soughtMaloneathislodgingsandfoundhimnot,heinquiredwhitherhehadposted,andhavinglearnedofthelandladyhisdestination,hastenedwithallspeedafterhim.ThesamecausesoperatedinthesamewaywithSweeting.ThusitchancedonthatafternoonthatCaroline'searswerethreetimestorturedwiththeringingofthebellandtheadventofundesiredguestsforDonnefollowedMalone,andSweetingfollowedDonneandmorewinewasorderedupfromthecellarintothedining-room(forthougholdHelstonechidtheinferiorpriesthoodwhenhefoundthem"carousing,"ashecalledit,intheirowntents,yetathishierarchicaltableheeverlikedtotreatthemtoaglassofhisbest),andthroughthecloseddoorsCarolineheardtheirboyishlaughter,andthevacantcackleoftheirvoices.Herfearwaslesttheyshouldstaytotea,forshehadnopleasureinmakingteaforthatparticulartrio.Whatdistinctionspeopledraw!Thesethreeweremen—youngmen—educatedmen,likeMooreyet,forher,howgreatthedifference!Theirsocietywasabore—hisadelight. Notonlywasshedestinedtobefavouredwiththeirclericalcompany,butFortunewasatthismomentbringingherfourotherguests—ladyguests,allpackedinapony-phaetonnowrollingsomewhatheavilyalongtheroadfromWhinbury:anelderlyladyandthreeofherbuxomdaughterswerecomingtoseeher"inafriendlyway,"asthecustomofthatneighbourhoodwas.Yes,afourthtimethebellclanged.Fannybroughtthepresentannouncementtothedrawing-room,— "Mrs.SykesandthethreeMissesSykes." WhenCarolinewasgoingtoreceivecompany,herhabitwastowringherhandsverynervously,toflushalittle,andcomeforwardhurriedlyyethesitatingly,wishingherselfmeantimeatJericho.Shewas,atsuchcrises,sadlydeficientinfinishedmanner,thoughshehadoncebeenatschoolayear.Accordingly,onthisoccasion,hersmallwhitehandssadlymaltreatedeachother,whileshestoodup,waitingtheentranceofMrs.Sykes. Instalkedthatlady,atall,biliousgentlewoman,whomadeanampleandnotaltogetherinsincereprofessionofpiety,andwasgreatlygiventohospitalitytowardstheclergy.Insailedherthreedaughters,ashowytrio,beingallthreewell-grown,andmoreorlesshandsome. InEnglishcountryladiesthereisthispointtoberemarked.Whetheryoungorold,prettyorplain,dullorsprightly,theyall(oralmostall)haveacertainexpressionstampedontheirfeatures,whichseemstosay,"Iknow—Idonotboastofit,butIknowthatIamthestandardofwhatisproperleteveryonethereforewhomIapproach,orwhoapproachesme,keepasharplookout,forwhereintheydifferfromme—bethesameindress,manner,opinion,principle,orpractice—thereintheyarewrong." Mrs.andMissesSykes,farfrombeingexceptionstothisobservation,werepointedillustrationsofitstruth.MissMary—awell-looked,well-meant,and,onthewhole,well-dispositionedgirl—worehercomplacencywithsomestate,thoughwithoutharshness.MissHarriet—abeauty—carrieditmoreoverbearinglyshelookedhighandcold.MissHannah,whowasconceited,dashing,pushing,flourishedhersconsciouslyandopenly.Themotherevinceditwiththegravitypropertoherageandreligiousfame. Thereceptionwasgotthroughsomehow.Caroline"wasgladtoseethem"(anunmitigatedfib),hopedtheywerewell,hopedMrs.Sykes'scoughwasbetter(Mrs.Sykeshadhadacoughforthelasttwentyyears),hopedtheMissesSykeshadlefttheirsistersathomewelltowhichinquirytheMissesSykes,sittingonthreechairsoppositethemusic-stool,whereonCarolinehadundesignedlycometoanchor,afterwaveringforsomesecondsbetweenitandalargearm-chair,intowhichsheatlengthrecollectedsheoughttoinductMrs.Sykes—andindeedthatladysavedherthetroublebydepositingherselftherein—theMissesSykesrepliedtoCarolinebyonesimultaneousbow,verymajesticandmightyawful.Apausefollowed.Thisbowwasofacharactertoensuresilenceforthenextfiveminutes,anditdid.Mrs.SykestheninquiredafterMr.Helstone,andwhetherhehadhadanyreturnofrheumatism,andwhetherpreachingtwiceonaSundayfatiguedhim,andifhewascapableoftakingafullservicenowandonbeingassuredhewas,sheandallherdaughters,combininginchorus,expressedtheiropinionthathewas"awonderfulmanofhisyears." Pausesecond. MissMary,gettingupthesteaminherturn,askedwhetherCarolinehadattendedtheBibleSocietymeetingwhichhadbeenheldatNunnelylastThursdaynight.ThenegativeanswerwhichtruthcompelledCarolinetoutter—forlastThursdayeveningshehadbeensittingathome,readinganovelwhichRoberthadlenther—elicitedasimultaneousexpressionofsurprisefromthelipsofthefourladies. "Wewereallthere,"saidMissMary—"mammaandallofus.Weevenpersuadedpapatogo.Hannahwouldinsistuponit.ButhefellasleepwhileMr.Langweilig,theGermanMoravianminister,wasspeaking.Ifeltquiteashamed,henoddedso." "AndtherewasDr.Broadbent,"criedHannah—"suchabeautifulspeaker!Youcouldn'texpectitofhim,forheisalmostavulgar-lookingman." "Butsuchadearman,"interruptedMary. "Andsuchagoodman,suchausefulman,"addedhermother. "Onlylikeabutcherinappearance,"interposedthefair,proudHarriet."Icouldn'tbeartolookathim.Ilistenedwithmyeyesshut." MissHelstonefeltherignoranceandincompetency.NothavingseenDr.Broadbent,shecouldnotgiveheropinion.Pausethirdcameon.Duringitscontinuance,Carolinewasfeelingatherheart'scorewhatadreamingfoolshewas,whatanunpracticallifesheled,howlittlefitnesstherewasinherforordinaryintercoursewiththeordinaryworld.ShewasfeelinghowexclusivelyshehadattachedherselftothewhitecottageintheHollow,howintheexistenceofoneinmateofthatcottageshehadpentallheruniverse.Shewassensiblethatthiswouldnotdo,andthatsomedayshewouldbeforcedtomakeanalteration.Itcouldnotbesaidthatsheexactlywishedtoresembletheladiesbeforeher,butshewishedtobecomesuperiortoherpresentself,soastofeellessscaredbytheirdignity. Thesolemeansshefoundofrevivingtheflaggingdiscoursewasbyaskingthemiftheywouldallstaytoteaandacruelstruggleitcosthertoperformthispieceofcivility.Mrs.Sykeshadbegun,"Wearemuchobligedtoyou,but——"whenincameFannyoncemore. "Thegentlemenwillstaytheevening,ma'am,"wasthemessageshebroughtfromMr.Helstone. "Whatgentlemenhaveyou?"nowinquiredMrs.Sykes.Theirnameswerespecifiedsheandherdaughtersinterchangedglances.ThecurateswerenottothemwhattheyweretoCaroline.Mr.SweetingwasquiteafavouritewiththemevenMr.Maloneratherso,becausehewasaclergyman."Really,sinceyouhavecompanyalready,Ithinkwewillstay,"remarkedMrs.Sykes."Weshallbequiteapleasantlittleparty.Ialwaysliketomeettheclergy." AndnowCarolinehadtousherthemupstairs,tohelpthemtounshawl,smooththeirhair,andmakethemselvessmarttoreconductthemtothedrawing-room,todistributeamongstthembooksofengravings,oroddthingspurchasedfromtheJew-basket.Shewasobligedtobeapurchaser,thoughshewasbutaslackcontributorandifshehadpossessedplentyofmoney,shewouldrather,whenitwasbroughttotherectory—anawfulincubus!—havepurchasedthewholestockthancontributedasinglepin-cushion. Itoughtperhapstobeexplainedinpassing,forthebenefitofthosewhoarenotaufaittothemysteriesofthe"Jew-basket"and"missionary-basket,"thatthesemeublesarewillowrepositories,ofthecapacityofagood-sizedfamilyclothes-basket,dedicatedtothepurposeofconveyingfromhousetohouseamonstercollectionofpin-cushions,needle-books,card-racks,workbags,articlesofinfantwear,etc.,etc.,etc.,madebythewillingorreluctanthandsoftheChristianladiesofaparish,andsoldperforcetotheheathenishgentlementhereof,atpricesunblushinglyexorbitant.TheproceedsofsuchcompulsorysalesareappliedtotheconversionoftheJews,theseekingupofthetenmissingtribes,ortotheregenerationoftheinterestingcolouredpopulationoftheglobe.Eachladycontributortakesitinherturntokeepthebasketamonth,tosewforit,andtofoistoffitscontentsonashrinkingmalepublic.Anexcitingtimeitiswhenthatturncomesround.Someactive-mindedwoman,withagoodtradingspirit,likeit,andenjoyexceedinglythefunofmakinghard-handedworsted-spinnerscashup,tothetuneoffourorfivehundredpercent.abovecostprice,forarticlesquiteuselesstothemotherfeeblersoulsobjecttoit,andwouldratherseetheprinceofdarknesshimselfattheirdooranymorningthanthatphantombasket,broughtwith"Mrs.Rouse'scomplimentsandplease,ma'am,shesaysit'syourturnnow." MissHelstone'sdutiesofhostessperformed,moreanxiouslythancheerily,shebetookherselftothekitchen,toholdabriefprivy-councilwithFannyandElizaaboutthetea. "Whataloton'em!"criedEliza,whowascook."AndIputoffthebakingto-daybecauseIthoughttherewouldbebreadplentytofitwhilemorning.Weshallneverhaveenow." "Arethereanytea-cakes?"askedtheyoungmistress. "Onlythreeandaloaf.Iwishthesefinefolkwouldstayathometillthey'reaskedandIwanttofinishtrimmingmyhat"(bonnetshemeant). "Then,"suggestedCaroline,towhomtheimportanceoftheemergencygaveacertainenergy,"FannymustrundowntoBriarfieldandbuysomemuffinsandcrumpetsandsomebiscuits.Anddon'tbecross,Elizawecan'thelpitnow." "Andwhichtea-thingsarewetohave?" "Oh,thebest,Isuppose.I'llgetoutthesilverservice."Andsheranupstairstotheplate-closet,andpresentlybroughtdownteapot,cream-ewer,andsugar-basin. "Andmunwehaveth'urn?" "Yesandnowgetitreadyasquicklyasyoucan,forthesoonerwehaveteaoverthesoonertheywillgo—atleast,Ihopeso.Heigh-ho!Iwishtheyweregone,"shesighed,asshereturnedtothedrawing-room."Still,"shethought,asshepausedatthedoorereopeningit,"ifRobertwouldbutcomeevennowhowbrightallwouldbe!Howcomparativelyeasythetaskofamusingthesepeopleifhewerepresent!Therewouldbeaninterestinhearinghimtalk(thoughheneversaysmuchincompany)andintalkinginhispresence.Therecanbenointerestinhearinganyofthem,orinspeakingtothem.Howtheywillgabblewhenthecuratescomein,andhowwearyIshallgrowwithlisteningtothem!ButIsupposeIamaselfishfool.Theseareveryrespectablegentlefolks.Iought,nodoubt,tobepro