CHAPTER I. LEVITICAL.

Mr.MaloneandMr.SweetingofNunnelycametotea,remainedtosupper,occupiedthesparebed,andfavouredherwiththeircompanytobreakfastonWednesdaymorningnow,onThursday,theyarebothhereatdinner,andsheisalmostcertaintheywillstayallnight."C'enesttrop,"shewouldsay,ifshecouldspeakFrench. Mr.Sweetingismincingthesliceofroastbeefonhisplate,andcomplainingthatitisverytoughMr.Donnesaysthebeerisflat.Ay,thatistheworstofit:iftheywouldonlybecivilMrs.Galewouldn'tminditsomuch,iftheywouldonlyseemsatisfiedwithwhattheygetshewouldn'tcarebut"theseyoungparsonsissohighandsoscornful,theyseteverybodybeneaththeir'fit.'Theytreatherwithlessthancivility,justbecauseshedoesn'tkeepaservant,butdoestheworkofthehouseherself,ashermotherdidaforeherthentheyarealwaysspeakingagainstYorkshirewaysandYorkshirefolk,"andbythatverytokenMrs.Galedoesnotbelieveoneofthemtobearealgentleman,orcomeofgentlekin."Theoldparsonsisworththewholelumpofcollegeladstheyknowwhatbelongstogoodmanners,andiskindtohighandlow." "Morebread!"criesMr.Malone,inatonewhich,thoughprolongedbuttouttertwosyllables,proclaimshimatonceanativeofthelandofshamrocksandpotatoes.Mrs.GalehatesMr.Malonemorethaneitheroftheothertwobutshefearshimalso,forheisatall,strongly-builtpersonage,withrealIrishlegsandarms,andafaceasgenuinelynational—nottheMilesianface,notDanielO'Connell'sstyle,butthehigh-featured,North-American-Indiansortofvisage,whichbelongstoacertainclassoftheIrishgentry,andhasapetrifiedandproudlook,bettersuitedtotheownerofanestateofslavesthantothelandlordofafreepeasantry.Mr.Malone'sfathertermedhimselfagentleman:hewaspoorandindebt,andbesottedlyarrogantandhissonwaslikehim. Mrs.Galeofferedtheloaf. "Cutit,woman,"saidherguestandthe"woman"cutitaccordingly.Hadshefollowedherinclinations,shewouldhavecuttheparsonalsoherYorkshiresoulrevoltedabsolutelyfromhismannerofcommand. Thecurateshadgoodappetites,andthoughthebeefwas"tough,"theyateagreatdealofit.Theyswallowed,too,atolerableallowanceofthe"flatbeer,"whileadishofYorkshirepudding,andtwotureensofvegetables,disappearedlikeleavesbeforelocusts.Thecheese,too,receiveddistinguishedmarksoftheirattentionanda"spice-cake,"whichfollowedbywayofdessert,vanishedlikeavision,andwasnomorefound.ItselegywaschantedinthekitchenbyAbraham,Mrs.Gale'ssonandheir,ayouthofsixsummershehadreckoneduponthereversionthereof,andwhenhismotherbroughtdowntheemptyplatter,helifteduphisvoiceandweptsore. Thecurates,meantime,satandsippedtheirwine,aliquorofunpretendingvintage,moderatelyenjoyed.Mr.Malone,indeed,wouldmuchratherhavehadwhiskybutMr.Donne,beinganEnglishman,didnotkeepthebeverage.Whiletheysippedtheyargued,notonpolitics,noronphilosophy,noronliterature—thesetopicswerenow,asever,totallywithoutinterestforthem—notevenontheology,practicalordoctrinal,butonminutepointsofecclesiasticaldiscipline,frivolitieswhichseemedemptyasbubblestoallsavethemselves.Mr.Malone,whocontrivedtosecuretwoglassesofwine,whenhisbrethrencontentedthemselveswithone,waxedbydegreeshilariousafterhisfashionthatis,hegrewalittleinsolent,saidrudethingsinahectoringtone,andlaughedclamorouslyathisownbrilliancy. Eachofhiscompanionsbecameinturnhisbutt.Malonehadastockofjokesattheirservice,whichhewasaccustomedtoserveoutregularlyonconvivialoccasionslikethepresent,seldomvaryinghiswitforwhich,indeed,therewasnonecessity,asheneverappearedtoconsiderhimselfmonotonous,anddidnotatallcarewhatothersthought.Mr.Donnehefavouredwithhintsabouthisextrememeagreness,allusionstohisturned-upnose,cuttingsarcasmsonacertainthreadbarechocolatesurtoutwhichthatgentlemanwasaccustomedtosportwheneveritrainedorseemedlikelytorain,andcriticismsonachoicesetofcockneyphrasesandmodesofpronunciation,Mr.Donne'sownproperty,andcertainlydeservingofremarkfortheeleganceandfinishtheycommunicatedtohisstyle. Mr.Sweetingwasbanteredabouthisstature—hewasalittleman,amereboyinheightandbreadthcomparedwiththeathleticMaloneralliedonhismusicalaccomplishments—heplayedthefluteandsanghymnslikeaseraph,someyoungladiesofhisparishthoughtsneeredatas"theladies'pet"teasedabouthismammaandsisters,forwhompoorMr.Sweetinghadsomelingeringregard,andofwhomhewasfoolishenoughnowandthentospeakinthepresenceofthepriestlyPaddy,fromwhoseanatomythebowelsofnaturalaffectionhadsomehowbeenomitted. Thevictimsmettheseattackseachinhisownway:Mr.Donnewithastiltedself-complacencyandhalf-sullenphlegm,thesolepropsofhisotherwisesomewhatricketydignityMr.Sweetingwiththeindifferenceofalight,easydisposition,whichneverprofessedtohaveanydignitytomaintain. WhenMalone'sraillerybecamerathertoooffensive,whichitsoondid,theyjoined,inanattempttoturnthetablesonhimbyaskinghimhowmanyboyshadshouted"IrishPeter!"afterhimashecamealongtheroadthatday(Malone?snamewasPeterMalone----the