CHAPTER I. THE PARSONAGE

dbedelightedifyouthinktheycouldbesoldandforanythingworthwhile.” “It’sworthwhiletrying,however,mydear:doyouprocurethedrawings,andI’llendeavourtofindapurchaser.” “IwishIcoulddosomething,”saidI. “You,Agnes!well,whoknows?Youdrawprettywell,too:ifyouchoosesomesimplepieceforyoursubject,Idaresayyouwillbeabletoproducesomethingweshallallbeproudtoexhibit.” “ButIhaveanotherschemeinmyhead,mamma,andhavehadlong,onlyIdidnotliketomentionit.” “Indeed!praytelluswhatitis.” “Ishouldliketobeagoverness.” Mymotherutteredanexclamationofsurprise,andlaughed.Mysisterdroppedherworkinastonishment,exclaiming,“Youagoverness,Agnes!Whatcanyoubedreamingof?” “Well!Idon’tseeanythingsoveryextraordinaryinit.IdonotpretendtobeabletoinstructgreatgirlsbutsurelyIcouldteachlittleones:andIshouldlikeitsomuch:Iamsofondofchildren.Doletme,mamma!” “But,mylove,youhavenotlearnedtotakecareofyourselfyet:andyoungchildrenrequiremorejudgmentandexperiencetomanagethanelderones.” “But,mamma,Iamaboveeighteen,andquiteabletotakecareofmyself,andotherstoo.YoudonotknowhalfthewisdomandprudenceIpossess,becauseIhaveneverbeentried.” “Onlythink,”saidMary,“whatwouldyoudoinahousefullofstrangers,withoutmeormammatospeakandactforyou—withaparcelofchildren,besidesyourself,toattendtoandnoonetolooktoforadvice?Youwouldnotevenknowwhatclothestoputon.” “Youthink,becauseIalwaysdoasyoubidme,Ihavenojudgmentofmyown:butonlytryme—thatisallIask—andyoushallseewhatIcando.” Atthatmomentmyfatherenteredandthesubjectofourdiscussionwasexplainedtohim. “What,mylittleAgnesagoverness!”criedhe,and,inspiteofhisdejection,helaughedattheidea. “Yes,papa,don’tyousayanythingagainstit:IshouldlikeitsomuchandIamsureIcouldmanagedelightfully.” “But,mydarling,wecouldnotspareyou.”Andatearglistenedinhiseyeasheadded—“No,no!afflictedasweare,surelywearenotbroughttothatpassyet.” “Oh,no!”saidmymother.“Thereisnonecessitywhateverforsuchastepitismerelyawhimofherown.Soyoumustholdyourtongue,younaughtygirlfor,thoughyouaresoreadytoleaveus,youknowverywellwecannotpartwithyou.” Iwassilencedforthatday,andformanysucceedingonesbutstillIdidnotwhollyrelinquishmydarlingscheme.Marygotherdrawingmaterials,andsteadilysettowork.IgotminetoobutwhileIdrew,Ithoughtofotherthings.Howdelightfulitwouldbetobeagoverness!Togooutintotheworldtoenteruponanewlifetoactformyselftoexercisemyunusedfacultiestotrymyunknownpowerstoearnmyownmaintenance,andsomethingtocomfortandhelpmyfather,mother,andsister,besidesexoneratingthemfromtheprovisionofmyfoodandclothingtoshowpapawhathislittleAgnescoulddotoconvincemammaandMarythatIwasnotquitethehelpless,thoughtlessbeingtheysupposed.Andthen,howcharmingtobeentrustedwiththecareandeducationofchildren!Whateverotherssaid,IfeltIwasfullycompetenttothetask:theclearremembranceofmyownthoughtsinearlychildhoodwouldbeasurerguidethantheinstructionsofthemostmatureadviser.Ihadbuttoturnfrommylittlepupilstomyselfattheirage,andIshouldknow,atonce,howtowintheirconfidenceandaffections:howtowakenthecontritionoftheerringhowtoemboldenthetimidandconsoletheafflictedhowtomakeVirtuepracticable,Instructiondesirable,andReligionlovelyandcomprehensible. —Delightfultask! Toteachtheyoungideahowtoshoot! Totrainthetenderplants,andwatchtheirbudsunfoldingdaybyday! Influencedbysomanyinducements,Ideterminedstilltoperseverethoughthefearofdispleasingmymother,ordistressingmyfather’sfeelings,preventedmefromresumingthesubjectforseveraldays.Atlength,again,Imentionedittomymotherinprivateand,withsomedifficulty,gothertopromisetoassistmewithherendeavours.Myfather’sreluctantconsentwasnextobtained,andthen,thoughMarystillsighedherdisapproval,mydear,kindmotherbegantolookoutforasituationforme.Shewrotetomyfather’srelations,andconsultedthenewspaperadvertisements—herownrelationsshehadlongdroppedallcommunicationwith:aformalinterchangeofoccasionalletterswasallshehadeverhadsincehermarriage,andshewouldnotatanytimehaveappliedtotheminacaseofthisnature.Butsolongandsoentirehadbeenmyparents’seclusionfromtheworld,thatmanyweekselapsedbeforeasuitab