CHAPTER XXIX

atdepressesme." "Iwellknowthatyoumustbepuzzled." "Yes,itispuzzling,isn'tit?Icantalktoyouaboutit,forofcourseyouseeitall.Itseemssoabsurdthattheonlyresultofmytryingtomakepeoplehappyistomakeeveryone,includingmyself,wretched.Thatiswaste,isn'tit.Waste,Imean,ofhappiness.ForI,atleast,washappybefore." "And,mydear,youwillbehappyagain." Annaknitherbrowsinpainfulthought."IfbybeingwretchedIhadmanagedtomaketheothershappyitwouldn'thavebeensobad.Atleastitwouldn'thavebeensocompletelysilly.TheonlythingIcanthinkofisthatImusthavehituponthewrongpeople." "IGottbewahre!"criedtheprincesswithenergy."Theyareallalike.Sendtheseaway,yougetthembackinadifferentshape.Facesandnameswouldbedifferent,neverthewomen.TheywouldallbeTreumannsandElmreichs,andnotasingleoneworthanythinginthewholeheap." "Well,Ishallnotdesertthem—ElseandEmilie,Imean.Theyneedhelp,bothofthem.Andafterall,itissimpleselfishnessforeverwantingtobehappyoneself.Ihavebeguntoseethatthechiefthinginlifeisnottobeashappyasonecan,buttobeverybrave." Theprincesssighed."PoorAxel,"shesaid. Annastarted,andblushedviolently."PraywhathasmybeingbravetodowithHerrvonLohm?"sheinquiredseverely. "Why,youaregoingtobebraveathisexpense,poorman.Youmustnotexpectanythingfromme,mydear,butcommonsense.Yougiveupallhopeofbeinghappybecauseyouthinkityourdutytogoonsacrificinghimandyourselftoasetofthankless,worthlesswomen,andyoucallitbeingbrave.Icallitbeingunnaturalandsilly." "IthasneverbeenaquestionofHerrvonLohm,"saidAnnacoldly,indeedfreezingly."Whatclaimshasheonme?MyplanswereallmadebeforeIknewthatheexisted." "Oh,mydear,yourplansareveryirritatingthings.Theonlyplanasensibleyoungwomanoughttomakeistogetasgoodahusbandaspossibleasquicklyasshecan." "Why,"saidAnna,risinginherindignation,andpreparingtoleaveaprincesssuddenlybecomeobjectionable,"why,youareasbadasSusie!" "Susie?"saidtheprincess,whohadnotheardofherbythatname."WasSusiealsoonewhotoldyouthetruth?" ButAnnawalkedoutoftheroomwithoutanswering,inaverydignifiedmannerwentintotheloneliestpartofthegardensatdownbehindsomebushesandcried. Shelookedbackonthosechildishtearsafterwards,andonallthathadgonebefore,asthelastpartofalongsleepasleepdisturbedbytroublingandfoolishdreams,butstillonlyasleepandonlydreams.Shewokeuptheverynextday,andremainedwideawakeafterthatfortherestofherlife.