CHAPTER XXIX

rlifeascompletelyasthoughhehadleftLohm.Sincethatunhappyday,shehadneitherseenhimnorheardofhim.Manytimesdidshesaytoherself,"IwillaskAxel,"andalwaystheremembrancethatshecouldnotcamewithashockoflonelinessandthenshewoulddropintothetrainofthoughtthatendedwith"ifIhadamother,"andhereyesgrowingwistful. "Perhapsitisthehotweather,"shesaidsuddenly,aneveningortwolater,afteralongsilence,totheprincess.Theyhadbeenspeakingofservantsbeforethat. "YouthinkitisthehotweatherthatmakesJohannabreakthecups?" "Thatmakesmethinksomuchofmothers." Theprincessturnedherheadquickly,andexaminedAnna'sface.ItwasSundayevening,andtheotherswereatchurch.Thebaroness,whoserecoverywasslow,wasupinherroom. "Whatmothers?"naturallyinquiredtheprincess. "Ithinkthiseverlastingheatisdreadful,"saidAnnaplaintively."Ihavenobackboneleft.Iamalllimp,andsoft,andsilly.IncoldweatherIbelieveIwouldn'twantamotherhalfsobadly." "Soyouwantamother?"saidtheprincess,takingAnna'shandinhersandpattingitkindly.Shethoughtsheknewwhy.EveryoneinthehousesawthatsomethingmusthavebeensaidtoAxelLohmtomakehimkeepawaysolong.PerhapsAnnawasrepenting,andwantedamother'shelptosetthingsrightagain. "Ialwaysthoughtitwouldbesoglorioustobeindependent,"saidAnna,"andnowsomehowitisn't.Itistiring.IwantsomeonetotellmewhatIoughttodo,andtoseethatIdoit.Besidespettingme.Ilongandlongsometimestobepetted." Theprincesslookedwise."Mydear,"shesaid,shakingherhead,"itisnotamotherthatyouwant.Doyouknowthecouplet:— ManbedarfderLeitung Undderm?nnlichenBegleitung? Atrulyexcellentcouplet." Annasmiled."ThatistheGermanideaoffemalebliss—alwaystobeledroundbythenosebysomehusband." "Notsomehusband,mydear—one'sownhusband.Youmaycallitleadingbythenoseifyoulike.IcanonlysaythatIenjoyedbeingledbymine,andhavemisseditgrievouslyeversince." "Butyouhadfoundtherightman." "Itisnotverydifficulttofindtherightman." "Yesitis—verydifficultindeed." "Ithinknot,"saidtheprincess."Heisneverfaroff.Sometimes,even,heisnextdoor."AndshegazedoverAnna'sheadattheceilingwithelaborateunconsciousness. "Andbesides,"saidAnna,"whydoesawomaneverlastinglywanttobeledandpropped?Whycan'tshegoaboutthebusinessoflifeonherownfeet?Whymustshealwaysleanonsomeone?" "Yousaidjustnowitisbecauseitishot." "Thefactis,"saidAnna,"thatIamnotcleverenoughtoseemywaythroughpuzzles.Andth