CHAPTER XXIX

WhatAnnamostlongedforinthedaysthatfollowedwasamother."IfIhadamother,"shethought,notonce,butagainandagain,andhereyeshadawistful,starvedlookwhenshethoughtit,"ifIonlyhadamother,asweetmotheralltomyself,ofmyveryown,I'dputmyheadonherdearshoulderandcrymyselfhappyagain.FirstI'dtellhereverything,andshewouldn'tmindhoweversillyitwas,andshewouldn'tbetiredhoweverlongitwas,andshe'dsay'Littledarlingchild,youareonlyababyafterall,'andwouldscoldmealittle,andkissmeagreatdeal,andthenI'dlistensocomfortably,allthetimewithmyfaceagainsthernicesoftdress,andIwouldfeelsosafeandsureandwrappedroundwhileshetoldmewhattodonext.Itislonelyandcoldanddifficultwithoutamother." Thehousewasinconfusion.Thebaronesshadcomeoutofherunconsciousnesstodelirium,andthedoctors,knowingthatshewasnotrelatedtoanyonethere,talkedopenlyofdeath.Thereweretwodoctors,now,andtwonursesandAnnainsistedonnursingtoo,wearingherselfoutwithallthemorepassionbecauseshefeltthatitwasofsolittleimportancereallytoanyonewhetherthebaronesslivedordied. Theywereallstrangers,thepeoplewatchingthisfrailfighterforlife,andtheywatchedwiththeindifferencenaturaltostrangers.Herewasamiddle-agedpersonwhowouldprobablydieifshediednoonelostanything,andifsheliveditdidnotmattereither.Thedoctorsandnurses,accustomedtothesethings,couldnotbeexpectedtobeinterestedinsoprofoundlyuninterestingacaseFrauvonTreumannobservedonceatleasteverydaythatitwasschrecklich,andwentonwithherembroideryFr?uleinKuhr?ubercriedalittlewhen,onherwaytoherbedroom,sheheardthebaronessraving,butshecriedeasily,andtheravingfrightenedhertheprincessfeltthatdeathinthiscasewouldbeablessingandLettyandMissLeechavoidedthehouse,andspenttheburningdaysramblinginwoodsthatteemedwithprodigal,joyouslife. AsforAnna,toseeherinthesick-roomwastosupposeherthenearestandtenderestrelativeofthebaronessandyetthepassionthatpossessedherwasnotlove,butonlyanendless,unfathomablepity."Ifshegetswell,sheshallneverbeunhappyagain,"vowedAnnainthosedayswhenshethoughtshecouldhearDeath'sfootstepsonthestairs."Hereorsomewhereelse—anywhereshelikes—sheshallliveandbehappy.Shewillseethatherpoorsisterhasmadenodifference,exceptthattherewillbenoshadowbetweenusnow." Butwhatistheuseofvowing?WhenJunewasinitssecondweekthebaronessslowlyandhesitatinglyturnedthecornerofherillnessandimmediatelythecornerwasturnedandtheexhaustionoftur