CHAPTER VII

es,whohavenomoney,andwhoaredependentandmiserable,comeandlivewithmeandsharemine,andhaveeverythingthatIhave—exactlythesame,withnodifferenceofanysort.Thereisroomfortwelveatleast,andwouldn'titbebeautifultomaketwelvepeople,whohadlostallhopeandallcourage,happyfortherestoftheirdays?" "Oh,thegirl'smad!"criedSusie,springingupfromthesofa,nolongerabletobearherself.Shebegantowalkabouttheroom,notknowingwhattosayordo,absolutelywithoutsympathyforbeneficentimpulses,atalltimespossessedofafinescornforideals,feelingthatnoargumentwouldbeofanyavailwithanEstcourtwhosemindwasmadeup,shockedthatgoodmoney,sohardtoget,andsoverypreciouswhengot,shouldbethrownawayinsuchamanner,bewilderedbythedifficultiesofthesituation,forhowcouldagirlofAnna'sagelivealone,anddirectahousefullofobjectsofcharity?Wouldtheobjectsthemselvesbeasufficientchaperonage?Wouldherfriendsathomethinkso?Wouldtheynotblameher,Susie,forhavingallowedallthis?Asthoughshecouldpreventit!OrwouldtheyexpecthertostaywithAnnainthisplacetillsheshouldmarry?Asthoughanybodywouldevermarrysuchalunatic!"Mad,mad,mad!"criedSusie,wringingherhands. "Iwasafraidthatyouwouldn'tlikeit,"saidtheculpritonthefloor,watchingherwithadistressedface. "Likeit?Oh—mad,mad!"Andshecontinuedtowalkandwringherhands. "Well,you'llstay,then,"shesaid,suddenlystoppinginfrontofAnna,"Iknowyouwellenough,andshallwastenobreatharguing.Thatinfatuatedoldman'smoneyhasturnedyourhead—Ididn'tknowitwassoweak.ButlookintoyourheartwhenIamgone—you'llhavetimeenoughandquietenough—andaskyourselfhonestlywhetherwhatyouaregoingtodoisaproperwayofpayingbackallIhavedoneforyou,andalltheexpenseyouhavebeen.Youknowwhatmywishesareaboutyou,andyoudon'tcareonejot.Gratitude!Thereisn'tasparkofitinyourwholebody.Neverwasthereamoreselfishcreature,andIcan'tbelievethatingratitudeandselfishnessarethestuffthatmakessaints.Don'tdaretotalkanymorerotaboutdutytoyourneighbourtome.AnEnglishwomantocomeandspendhermoneyonGermancharities——" "It'sGermanmoney,"murmuredAnna. "Andtolivehere—tolivehere—oh,mad,mad!"AndSusie'sindignationthreateningtochokeher,sheresumedherwalkandhergesticulations,herhighheelstappingfuriouslyonthebareboards. ShelongedtotakeLettyandMissLeechawaywithherthatverymorning,andpunishAnnabyleavingherentirelyalonebutshedidnotdarebecauseofPeter.PeterwasalwaysonAnna'ssidewhenthereweredifferences,andwouldbesuretodosomethingdreadfulwhenheheardofit—perhapscomeandliveheretoo,andnevergobacktohiswifeanymore.Oh,thesehalfGermans!Whyhadshemarriedintoafamilywithsuchataintinitsblood?"Youwillhavetohavesomeonehere,"shesaid,turningonAnna,whostillsatonthefloorbythesofa,alookonherfaceofapologyandpenitencemixedwithfirmnessthatSusiewellknew."Howcanyoustayherealone?IshallleaveMissLeechwithyoutilltheendoftheholidays,thoughIhatetoseemtoencourageyoubutthenyouseeIdomydutyandalwayshave,thoughIdon'ttalkaboutit.WhenIgethomeIshalllookforsomeelderlywomanwhowon'tmindcominghereandseeingthatyoudon'tmakeyourselftoomuchofaby-word,andthedayshecomesyouaretosendmebackmychild." "ItisgoodofyoutoletmekeepLetty,dearSusie——" "DearSusie!" "ButIdon'tmeantobeaby-word,asyoucallit,"continuedAnna,theghostofasmilelurkinginhereyes,"andIdon'twantanEnglishwoman.Whatusewouldshebehere?Shewouldn'tunderstandifitwasaGermanby-wordthatIturnedinto.IthoughtaboutaskingtheparsonhowIhadbettersetaboutgettingaGermanlady—agraveandsoberfemale,advancedinyears,asUncleJoachimwrote." "Oh,UncleJoachim——"Susiecouldhardlyenduretohearthename.ItwasthatodiousoldmanwhohadfilledAnna'sheadwiththeseideas.Toleavehermoneywasadmirable,buttoinfluenceaweakgirl'smindwithhiswishy-washyGermanphilosophyaboutthebetterlifeandsuchrubbish,asheevidentlyhaddoneduringthoseexcursionswithher,wasconductsoshamefulthatshefoundnowordsstrongenoughtoexpressheropinionofit.Everyonewouldblameherforwhathadhappened,everyonewouldjeerather,andsaythatthemomentanopportunityofescapehadpresenteditselfAnnahadseizedit,preferringanexistenceoflonelinessandhardship—anysortofexistence—toallthepleasuresofcivilisedlifeinSusie'scompany.Peterwouldcertainlybeveryangrywithher,andreproachherwithnothavingmadeAnnahappyenough.Happyenough!Thegirlhadcostheratleastthreehundredayear,whatwithherexpensiveeducationandallherclothessinceshecameoutandifthreehundredgoodpoundsspentonagirlcouldnotmakeherhappy,she'dliketoknowwhatcould.Andnoone—notoneofthoseodiouspeopleinLondonwhomshesecretlyhated—wouldhaveasinglewordofcensureforAnna.Nooneeverhad.Allhervagariesandabsurditiesduringthelastfewyearswhenshehadbeensoprovokinghadbeensmiledat,hadbeen,Susieknew,putdowntohertreatmentofher.Treatmentofher,indeed!ThethoughtofthesethingsmadeSusiewrithe.Shehadbeenlookingforwardtothenextseason,tohavingherprettysister-in-lawwithherinthehappymoodshehadbeeninsincesheheardofhergoodfortune,andhadforeseennothingbutadvantagestoherselffromAnna'spresenceinherhouse—anAnnaspendingandnotbeingspentupon,andnodoubttobepersuadedtosharetheexpensesofhousekeeping.Andnowshemustgohomebyherselftoblame,scoldings,andderision.Theprospectwasalmostmorethanshecouldbear.Shewenttothedoor,openedit,andturningtoAnnafiredapartingshot."Letnoone,"shesaid,hervoiceshakenbydeepestdisgust,"whowantstobehappy,everspendapennyonherhusband'srelations." AndthenshecalledHiltonnordidsheleaveoffcallingtillHiltonappeared,andsopreventedAnnafromsayinganotherword.