CHAPTER XXVIII

keanysenseofit?Canyouseewhat’shappened?I’mraving,Iknowdon’tlisten,Marygoonwithyourwork.” Heroseandbegan,asusual,topaceupanddowntheroom.Heknewthatwhathehadjustsaidboreverylittleresemblancetowhathefelt,forMary’spresenceacteduponhimlikeaverystrongmagnet,drawingfromhimcertainexpressionswhichwerenotthosehemadeuseofwhenhespoketohimself,nordidtheyrepresenthisdeepestfeelings.Hefeltalittlecontemptforhimselfathavingspokenthusbutsomehowhehadbeenforcedintospeech. “Dositdown,”saidMarysuddenly.“Youmakemeso—”Shespokewithunusualirritability,andRalph,noticingitwithsurprise,satdownatonce. “Youhaven’ttoldmehername—you’drathernot,Isuppose?” “Hername?KatharineHilbery.” “Butshe’sengaged—” “ToRodney.They’retobemarriedinSeptember.” “Isee,”saidMary.Butintruththecalmofhismanner,nowthathewassittingdownoncemore,wraptherinthepresenceofsomethingwhichshefelttobesostrong,somysterious,soincalculable,thatshescarcelydaredtoattempttointerceptitbyanywordorquestionthatshewasabletoframe.ShelookedatRalphblankly,withakindofaweinherface,herlipsslightlyparted,andherbrowsraised.Hewasapparentlyquiteunconsciousofhergaze.Then,asifshecouldlooknolonger,sheleantbackinherchair,andhalfclosedhereyes.Thedistancebetweenthemhurtherterriblyonethingafteranothercameintohermind,temptinghertoassailRalphwithquestions,toforcehimtoconfideinher,andtoenjoyoncemorehisintimacy.Butsherejectedeveryimpulse,forshecouldnotspeakwithoutdoingviolencetosomereservewhichhadgrownbetweenthem,puttingthemalittlefarfromeachother,sothatheseemedtoherdignifiedandremote,likeapersonshenolongerknewwell. “IsthereanythingthatIcoulddoforyou?”sheaskedgently,andevenwithcourtesy,atlength. “Youcouldseeher—no,that’snotwhatIwantyoumustn’tbotheraboutme,Mary.”He,too,spokeverygently. “I’mafraidnothirdpersoncandoanythingtohelp,”sheadded. “No,”heshookhishead.“Katharinewassayingto-dayhowlonelyweare.”ShesawtheeffortwithwhichhespokeKatharine’sname,andbelievedthatheforcedhimselftomakeamendsnowforhisconcealmentinthepast.Atanyrate,shewasconsciousofnoangeragainsthimbutratherofadeeppityforonecondemnedtosufferasshehadsuffered.ButinthecaseofKatharineitwasdifferentshewasindignantwithKatharine. “There’salwayswork,”shesaid,alittleaggressively. Ralphmoveddirectly. “Doyouwanttobeworkingnow?”heasked. “No,no.It’sSunday,”shereplied.“IwasthinkingofKatharine.Shedoesn’tunderstandaboutwork.She’sneverhadto.Shedoesn’tknowwhatworkis.I’veonlyfoundoutmyselfquitelately.Butit’sthethingthatsavesone—I’msureofthat.” “Thereareotherthings,aren’tthere?”hehesitated. “Nothingthatonecancountupon,”shereturned.“Afterall,otherpeople—”shestopped,butforcedherselftogoon.“WhereshouldIbenowifIhadn’tgottogotomyofficeeveryday?Thousandsofpeoplewouldtellyouthesamething—thousandsofwomen.Itellyou,workistheonlythingthatsavedme,Ralph.”Hesethismouth,asifherwordsrainedblowsonhimhelookedasifhehadmadeuphismindtobearanythingshemightsay,insilence.Hehaddeservedit,andtherewouldbereliefinhavingtobearit.Butshebrokeoff,androseasiftofetchsomethingfromthenextroom.Beforeshereachedthedoorsheturnedback,andstoodfacinghim,self-possessed,andyetdefiantandformidableinhercomposure. “It’sallturnedoutsplendidlyforme,”shesaid.“Itwillforyou,too.I’msureofthat.Because,afterall,Katharineisworthit.” “Mary—!”heexclaimed.Butherheadwasturnedaway,andhecouldnotsaywhathewishedtosay.“Mary,you’resplendid,”heconcluded.Shefacedhimashespoke,andgavehimherhand.Shehadsufferedandrelinquished,shehadseenherfutureturnedfromoneofinfinitepromisetooneofbarrenness,andyet,somehow,overwhatshescarcelyknew,andwithwhatresultsshecouldhardlyforetell,shehadconquered.WithRalph’seyesuponher,smilingstraightbackathimserenelyandproudly,sheknew,forthefirsttime,thatshehadconquered.Shelethimkissherhand. ThestreetswereemptyenoughonSundaynight,andiftheSabbath,andthedomesticamusementspropertotheSabbath,hadnotkeptpeopleindoors,ahighstrongwindmightveryprobablyhavedoneso.RalphDenhamwasawareofatumultinthestreetmuchinaccordancewithhisownsensations.Thegusts,sweepingalongtheStrand,seemedatthesametimetoblowaclearspaceacrosstheskyinwhichstarsappeared,andforashorttimethequick-speedingsilvermoonridingthroughclouds,asiftheywerewavesofwatersurgingroundherandoverher.Theyswampedher,butsheemergedtheybrokeoverherandcoveredheragainsheissuedforthindomitable.Inthecountryfieldsallthewreckageofwinterwasbeingdispersedthedeadleaves,thewitheredbracken,thedryanddiscoloredgrass,butnobudwouldbebroken,norwouldthenewstalksthatshowedabovetheearthtakeanyharm,andperhapsto-morrowalineofblueoryellowwouldshowthroughaslitintheirgreen.ButthewhirloftheatmospherealonewasinDenham’smood,andwhatofstarorblossomappearedwasonlyasalightgleamingforaseconduponheapedwavesfastfollowingeachother.HehadnotbeenabletospeaktoMary,thoughforamomenthehadcomenearenoughtobetantalizedbyawonderfulpossibilityofunderstanding.Butthedesiretocommunicatesomethingoftheverygreatestimportancepossessedhimcompletelyhestillwishedtobestowthisgiftuponsomeotherhumanbeinghesoughttheircompany.Morebyinstinctthanbyconsciouschoice,hetookthedirectionwhichledtoRodney’sr