CHAPTER XXVI

cietymightbegoingtoattempt.Thensherememberedthatshewashinderingtheirbusiness,androse,stillthinkingofthissociety,andthusthinking,shesaidtoMr.Basnett: “Well,you’llaskmetojoinwhenthetimecomes,Ihope.” Henodded,andtookhispipefromhismouth,but,beingunabletothinkofanythingtosay,heputitbackagain,althoughhewouldhavebeengladifshehadstayed. Againstherwish,Maryinsistedupontakingherdownstairs,andthen,astherewasnocabtobeseen,theystoodinthestreettogether,lookingaboutthem. “Goback,”Katharineurgedher,thinkingofMr.Basnettwithhispapersinhishand. “Youcan’twanderaboutthestreetsaloneinthoseclothes,”saidMary,butthedesiretofindacabwasnothertruereasonforstandingbesideKatharineforaminuteortwo.Unfortunatelyforhercomposure,Mr.Basnettandhispapersseemedtoheranincidentaldiversionoflife’sseriouspurposecomparedwithsometremendousfactwhichmanifesteditselfasshestoodalonewithKatharine.Itmayhavebeentheircommonwomanhood. “HaveyouseenRalph?”sheaskedsuddenly,withoutpreface. “Yes,”saidKatharinedirectly,butshedidnotrememberwhenorwhereshehadseenhim.IttookheramomentortwotorememberwhyMaryshouldaskherifshehadseenRalph. “IbelieveI’mjealous,”saidMary. “Nonsense,Mary,”saidKatharine,ratherdistractedly,takingherarmandbeginningtowalkupthestreetinthedirectionofthemainroad.“LetmeseewewenttoKew,andweagreedtobefriends.Yes,that’swhathappened.”Marywassilent,inthehopethatKatharinewouldtellhermore.ButKatharinesaidnothing. “It’snotaquestionoffriendship,”Maryexclaimed,herangerrising,toherownsurprise.“Youknowit’snot.Howcanitbe?I’venorighttointerfere—”Shestopped.“OnlyI’dratherRalphwasn’thurt,”sheconcluded. “Ithinkheseemsabletotakecareofhimself,”Katharineobserved.Withouteitherofthemwishingit,afeelingofhostilityhadrisenbetweenthem. “Doyoureallythinkit’sworthit?”saidMary,afterapause. “Howcanonetell?”Katharineasked. “Haveyouevercaredforanyone?”Marydemandedrashlyandfoolishly. “Ican’twanderaboutLondondiscussingmyfeelings—Here’sacab—no,there’ssomeoneinit.” “Wedon’twanttoquarrel,”saidMary. “OughtItohavetoldhimthatIwouldn’tbehisfriend?”Katharineasked.“ShallItellhimthat?Ifso,whatreasonshallIgivehim?” “Ofcourseyoucan’ttellhimthat,”saidMary,controllingherself. “IbelieveIshall,though,”saidKatharinesuddenly. “Ilostmytemper,KatharineIshouldn’thavesaidwhatIdid.” “Thewholething’sfoolish,”saidKatharine,peremptorily.“That’swhatIsay.It’snotworthit.”Shespokewithunnecessaryvehemence,butitwasnotdirectedagainstMaryDatchet.Theiranimosityhadcompletelydisappeared,anduponbothofthemacloudofdifficultyanddarknessrested,obscuringthefuture,inwhichtheyhadbothtofindaway. “No,no,it’snotworthit,”Katharinerepeated.“Suppose,asyousay,it’soutofthequestion—thisfriendshiphefallsinlovewithme.Idon’twantthat.Still,”sheadded,“Ibelieveyouexaggeratelove’snoteverythingmarriageitselfisonlyoneofthethings—”Theyhadreachedthemainthoroughfare,andstoodlookingattheomnibusesandpassers-by,whoseemed,forthemoment,toillustratewhatKatharinehadsaidofthediversityofhumaninterests.Forbothofthemithadbecomeoneofthosemomentsofextremedetachment,whenitseemsunnecessaryeveragaintoshouldertheburdenofhappinessandself-assertiveexistence.Theirneighborswerewelcometotheirpossessions. “Idon’tlaydownanyrules,”’saidMary,recoveringherselffirst,astheyturnedafteralongpauseofthisdescription.“AllIsayisthatyoushouldknowwhatyou’reabout—forcertainbut,”sheadded,“Iexpectyoudo.” Atthesametimeshewasprofoundlyperplexed,notonlybywhatsheknewofthearrangementsforKatharine’smarriage,butbytheimpressionwhichshehadofher,thereonherarm,darkandinscrutable. TheywalkedbackagainandreachedthestepswhichleduptoMary’sflat.Heretheystoppedandpausedforamoment,sayingnothing. “Youmustgoin,”saidKatharine,rousingherself.“He’swaitingallthistimetogoonwithhisreading.”Sheglancedupatthelightedwindownearthetopofthehouse,andtheybothlookedatitandwaitedforamoment.Aflightofsemicircularstepsranuptothehall,andMaryslowlymountedthefirsttwoorthree,andpaused,lookingdownuponKatharine. “Ithinkyouunderratethevalueofthatemotion,”shesaidslowly,andalittleawkwardly.Sheclimbedanotherstepandlookeddownoncemoreuponthefigurethatwasonlypartlylitup,standinginthestreetwithacolorlessfaceturnedupwards.AsMaryhesitated,acabcamebyandKatharineturnedandstoppedit,sayingassheopenedthedoor: “Remember,Iwanttobelongtoyoursociety—remember,”sheadded,havingtoraisehervoicealittle,andshuttingthedoorupontherestofherwords. Marymountedthestairsstepbystep,asifshehadtoliftherbodyupanextremelysteepascent.ShehadhadtowrenchherselfforciblyawayfromKatharine,andeverystepvanquishedherdesire.Sheheldongrimly,encouragingherselfasthoughshewereactuallymakingsomegreatphysicaleffortinclimbingaheight.ShewasconsciousthatMr.Basnett,sittingatthetopofthestairswithhisdocuments,offeredhersolidfootingifshewerecapableofreachingit.Theknowledgegaveherafaintsenseofexaltation. Mr.Basnettraisedhiseyesassheopenedthedoor. “I’llgoonwhereIleftoff,”hesaid.“Stopmeifyouwantanythingexplained.” Hehadbeenre-readingthedocument,andmakingpencilnotesinthemarginwhilehewaited,andhewentonagainasiftherehadbeennointerruption.Marysatdownamongtheflatcushions,litanothercigarette,andlistenedwithafrownuponherface. KatharineleantbackinthecornerofthecabthatcarriedhertoChelsea,consciousoffatigue,andconscious,too,ofthesoberandsatisfactorynatureofsuchindustryasshehadjustwitnessed.Thethoughtofitcomposedandcalmedher.Whenshereachedhomesheletherselfinasquietlyasshecould,inthehopethatthehouseholdwasalreadygonetobed.Butherexcursionhadoccupiedlesstimethanshethought,andsheheardsoundsofunmistakablelivelinessupstairs.Adooropened,andshedrewherselfintoaground-floorroomincasethesoundmeantthatMr.Peytonweretakinghisleave.Fromwhereshestoodshecouldseethestairs,thoughshewasherselfinvisible.Someonewascomingdownthestairs,andnowshesawthatitwasWilliamRodney.Helookedalittlestrange,asifhewerewalkinginhissleephislipsmovedasifhewereactingsomeparttohimself.Hecamedownveryslowly,stepbystep,withonehanduponthebanisterstoguidehimself.Shethoughthelookedasifhewereinsomemoodofhighexaltation,whichitmadeheruncomfortabletowitnessanylongerunseen.Shesteppedintothehall.Hegaveagreatstartuponseeingherandstopped. “Katharine!”heexclaimed.“You’vebeenout?”heasked. “Yes....Aretheystillup?” Hedidnotanswer,andwalkedintotheground-floorroomthroughthedoorwhichstoodopen. “It’sbeenmorewonderfulthanIcantellyou,”hesaid,“I’mincrediblyhappy—” Hewasscarcelyaddressingher,andshesaidnothing.Foramomenttheystoodatoppositesidesofatablesayingnothing.Thenheaskedherquickly,“Buttellme,howdiditseemtoyou?Whatdidyouthink,Katharine?Isthereachancethatshelikesme?Tellme,Katharine!” Beforeshecouldansweradooropenedonthelandingaboveanddisturbedthem.ItdisturbedWilliamexcessively.Hestartedback,walkedrapidlyintothehall,andsaidinaloudandostentatiouslyordinarytone: “Goodnight,Katharine.Gotobednow.Ishallseeyousoon.IhopeIshallbeabletocometo-morrow.” Nextmomenthewasgone.ShewentupstairsandfoundCassandraonthelanding.Sheheldtwoorthreebooksinherhand,andshewasstoopingtolookatothersinalittlebookcase.Shesaidthatshecouldnevertellwhichbookshewantedtoreadinbed,poetry,biography,ormetaphysics. “Whatdoyoureadinbed,Katharine?”sheasked,astheywalkedupstairssidebyside. “Sometimesonething—sometimesanother,”saidKatharinevaguely.Cassandralookedather. “D’youknow,you’reextraordinarilyqueer,”shesaid.“Everyoneseemstomealittlequeer.Perhapsit’stheeffectofLondon.” “IsWilliamqueer,too?”Katharineasked. “Well,Ithinkheisalittle,”Cassandrareplied.“Queer,butveryfascinating.IshallreadMiltonto-night.It’sbeenoneofthehappiestnightsofmylife,Katharine,”sheadded,lookingwithshydevotionathercousin’sbeautifulface.