CHAPTER XXII

ishingtheletterwhichhehadsomuchenjoyedbeginning?ThereasonwasthatKatharinemight,atanymoment,entertheroom.Thethought,implyinghisbondagetoher,irritatedhimacutely.Itoccurredtohimthathewouldleavetheletterlyingopenforhertosee,andhewouldtaketheopportunityoftellingherthathehadsenthisplaytoCassandraforhertocriticize.Possibly,butnotbyanymeanscertainly,thiswouldannoyher—andashereachedthedoubtfulcomfortofthisconclusion,therewasaknockonthedoorandKatharinecamein.Theykissedeachothercoldlyandshemadenoapologyforbeinglate.Nevertheless,hermerepresencemovedhimstrangelybuthewasdeterminedthatthisshouldnotweakenhisresolutiontomakesomekindofstandagainsthertogetatthetruthabouther.Helethermakeherowndispositionofclothesandbusiedhimselfwiththeplates. “I’vegotapieceofnewsforyou,Katharine,”hesaiddirectlytheysatdowntotable“Ishan’tgetmyholidayinApril.Weshallhavetoputoffourmarriage.” Herappedthewordsoutwithacertaindegreeofbriskness.Katharinestartedalittle,asiftheannouncementdisturbedherthoughts. “Thatwon’tmakeanydifference,willit?Imeantheleaseisn’tsigned,”shereplied.“Butwhy?Whathashappened?” Hetoldher,inanoff-handway,howoneofhisfellow-clerkshadbrokendown,andmighthavetobeawayformonths,sixmonthseven,inwhichcasetheywouldhavetothinkovertheirposition.Hesaiditinawaywhichstruckher,atlast,asoddlycasual.Shelookedathim.Therewasnooutwardsignthathewasannoyedwithher.Wasshewelldressed?Shethoughtsufficientlyso.Perhapsshewaslate?Shelookedforaclock. “It’sagoodthingwedidn’ttakethehousethen,”sherepeatedthoughtfully. “It’llmean,too,I’mafraid,thatIshan’tbeasfreeforaconsiderabletimeasIhavebeen,”hecontinued.Shehadtimetoreflectthatshegainedsomethingbyallthis,thoughitwastoosoontodeterminewhat.Butthelightwhichhadbeenburningwithsuchintensityasshecamealongwassuddenlyoverclouded,asmuchbyhismannerasbyhisnews.Shehadbeenpreparedtomeetopposition,whichissimpletoencountercomparedwith—shedidnotknowwhatitwasthatshehadtoencounter.Themealpassedinquiet,well-controlledtalkaboutindifferentthings.Musicwasnotasubjectaboutwhichsheknewanything,butshelikedhimtotellherthingsandcould,shemused,ashetalked,fancytheeveningsofmarriedlifespentthus,overthefirespentthus,orwithabook,perhaps,forthenshewouldhavetimetoreadherbooks,andtograspfirmlywitheverymuscleofherunusedmindwhatshelongedtoknow.Theatmospherewasveryfree.SuddenlyWilliambrokeoff.Shelookedupapprehensively,brushingasidethesethoughtswithannoyance. “WhereshouldIaddressalettertoCassandra?”heaskedher.ItwasobviousagainthatWilliamhadsomemeaningorotherto-night,orwasinsomemood.“We’vestruckupafriendship,”headded. “She’sathome,Ithink,”Katharinereplied. “Theykeephertoomuchathome,”saidWilliam.“Whydon’tyouaskhertostaywithyou,andletherhearalittlegoodmusic?I’lljustfinishwhatIwassaying,ifyoudon’tmind,becauseI’mparticularlyanxiousthatsheshouldhearto-morrow.” Katharinesankbackinherchair,andRodneytookthepaperonhisknees,andwentonwithhissentence.“Style,youknow,iswhatwetendtoneglect—“buthewasfarmoreconsciousofKatharine’seyeuponhimthanofwhathewassayingaboutstyle.Heknewthatshewaslookingathim,butwhetherwithirritationorindifferencehecouldnotguess. Intruth,shehadfallensufficientlyintohistraptofeeluncomfortablyrousedanddisturbedandunabletoproceedonthelineslaiddownforherself.Thisindifferent,ifnothostile,attitudeonWilliam’spartmadeitimpossibletobreakoffwithoutanimosity,largelyandcompletely.InfinitelypreferablewasMary’sstate,shethought,wheretherewasasimplethingtodoandonedidit.Infact,shecouldnothelpsupposingthatsomelittlenessofnaturehadapartinalltherefinements,reserves,andsubtletiesoffeelingforwhichherfriendsandfamilyweresodistinguished.Forexample,althoughshelikedCassandrawellenough,herfantasticmethodoflifestruckheraspurelyfrivolousnowitwassocialism,nowitwassilkworms,nowitwasmusic—whichlastshesupposedwasthecauseofWilliam’ssuddeninterestinher.NeverbeforehadWilliamwastedtheminutesofherpresenceinwritinghisletters.Withacurioussenseoflightopeningwhereall,hitherto,hadbeenopaque,itdawneduponherthat,afterall,possibly,yes,probably,nay,certainly,thedevotionwhichshehadalmostwearilytakenforgrantedexistedinamu