CHAPTER XXII

ThefactthatshewouldbelateinkeepingherengagementwithWilliamwasnottheonlyreasonwhichsentKatharinealmostatracingspeedalongtheStrandinthedirectionofhisrooms.Punctualitymighthavebeenachievedbytakingacab,hadshenotwishedtheopenairtofanintoflametheglowkindledbyMary’swords.Foramongalltheimpressionsoftheevening’stalkonewasofthenatureofarevelationandsubduedtheresttoinsignificance.Thusonelookedthusonespokesuchwaslove. “Shesatupstraightandlookedatme,andthenshesaid,‘I’minlove,’”Katharinemused,tryingtosetthewholesceneinmotion.ItwasascenetodwellonwithsomuchwonderthatnotagrainofpityoccurredtoheritwasaflameblazingsuddenlyinthedarkbyitslightKatharineperceivedfartoovividlyforhercomfortthemediocrity,indeedtheentirelyfictitiouscharacterofherownfeelingssofarastheypretendedtocorrespondwithMary’sfeelings.Shemadeuphermindtoactinstantlyupontheknowledgethusgained,andcasthermindinamazementbacktothesceneupontheheath,whenshehadyielded,heavenknowswhy,forreasonswhichseemednowimperceptible.Soinbroaddaylightonemightrevisittheplacewhereonehasgropedandturnedandsuccumbedtoutterbewildermentinafog. “It’sallsosimple,”shesaidtoherself.“Therecan’tbeanydoubt.I’veonlygottospeaknow.I’veonlygottospeak,”shewentonsaying,intimetoherownfootsteps,andcompletelyforgotMaryDatchet. WilliamRodney,havingcomebackearlierfromtheofficethanheexpected,satdowntopickoutthemelodiesin“TheMagicFlute”uponthepiano.Katharinewaslate,butthatwasnothingnew,and,asshehadnoparticularlikingformusic,andhefeltinthemoodforit,perhapsitwasaswell.ThisdefectinKatharinewasthemorestrange,Williamreflected,because,asarule,thewomenofherfamilywereunusuallymusical.Hercousin,CassandraOtway,forexample,hadaveryfinetasteinmusic,andhehadcharmingrecollectionsofherinalightfantasticattitude,playingthefluteinthemorning-roomatStogdonHouse.Herecalledwithpleasuretheamusingwayinwhichhernose,longlikealltheOtwaynoses,seemedtoextenditselfintotheflute,asifsheweresomeinimitablygracefulspeciesofmusicalmole.Thelittlepicturesuggestedveryhappilyhermelodiousandwhimsicaltemperament.TheenthusiasmsofayounggirlofdistinguishedupbringingappealedtoWilliam,andsuggestedathousandwaysinwhich,withhistrainingandaccomplishments,hecouldbeofservicetoher.Sheoughttobegiventhechanceofhearinggoodmusic,asitisplayedbythosewhohaveinheritedthegreattradition.Moreover,fromoneortworemarksletfallinthecourseofconversation,hethoughtitpossiblethatshehadwhatKatharineprofessedtolack,apassionate,ifuntaught,appreciationofliterature.Hehadlentherhisplay.Meanwhile,asKatharinewascertaintobelate,and“TheMagicFlute”isnothingwithoutavoice,hefeltinclinedtospendthetimeofwaitinginwritingalettertoCassandra,exhortinghertoreadPopeinpreferencetoDostoevsky,untilherfeelingforformwasmorehighlydeveloped.Hesethimselfdowntocomposethispieceofadviceinashapewhichwaslightandplayful,andyetdidnoinjurytoacausewhichhehadnearatheart,whenheheardKatharineuponthestairs.Amomentlateritwasplainthathehadbeenmistaken,itwasnotKatharinebuthecouldnotsettlehimselftohisletter.Histemperhadchangedfromoneofurbanecontentment—indeedofdeliciousexpansion—tooneofuneasinessandexpectation.Thedinnerwasbroughtin,andhadtobesetbythefiretokeephot.Itwasnowaquarterofanhourbeyondthespecifiedtime.Hebethoughthimofapieceofnewswhichhaddepressedhimintheearlierpartoftheday.Owingtotheillnessofoneofhisfellow-clerks,itwaslikelythathewouldgetnoholidayuntillaterintheyear,whichwouldmeanthepostponementoftheirmarriage.Butthispossibility,afterall,wasnotsodisagreeableastheprobabilitywhichforceditselfuponhimwitheverytickoftheclockthatKatharinehadcompletelyforgottenherengagement.SuchthingshadhappenedlessfrequentlysinceChristmas,butwhatiftheyweregoingtobegintohappenagain?Whatiftheirmarriageshouldturnout,asshehadsaid,afarce?Heacquittedherofanywishtohurthimwantonly,buttherewassomethinginhercharacterwhichmadeitimpossibleforhertohelphurtingpeople.Wasshecold?Wassheself-absorbed?Hetriedtofitherwitheachofthesedescriptions,buthehadtoownthatshepuzzledhim. “Therearesomanythingsthatshedoesn’tunderstand,”hereflected,glancingatthelettertoCassandrawhichhehadbegunandlaidaside.Whatpreventedhimfromfin