CHAPTER V

Whatwasthedifficulty?Shehadneverinherbusylifethoughtaboutit.Marriagehadnotconcernedher.Itwouldnotbenice,shehadfelt,unconsciouslyadoptingtheopinionofherenvironment,foragirlwhowasnotgoingtomarrytogetthinkingofit.Anditreallyhadnotinterestedher.Shehadquitenaturallyturnedhereyesaway. Butnowthisquestionoffacingherfather,thisneedofbeingbackedup,thislongingtogetawayfromthings,forcedhertolook.Besides,shewouldhavetogiveHerrDremmelsomesortofanswerinthemorning,andthefacingofHerrDremmelrequiredcourage,too—ofadifferentkind,butcertainlycourage.Shewassoreluctanttohurtordisappoint.Ithadseemedallherlifethemostbeautifulofpleasurestogivepeoplewhattheywanted,togetthemtosmile,toseethemlookcontent.ButsupposeHerrDremmel,beforehecouldbegottosmileandlookcontent,wantedtoclutchheragainashehadclutchedheronthetopoftheRigi?Shehadveryprofoundlydislikedit.Shehadbeenabletoresentitthereandgetloose,butifsheweremarriedandheclutchedcouldshestillresent?Shegreatlyfearednot.Shegreatlysuspected,nowshecametoacalmconsiderationofit,thatthatwaswhatwasthematterwithmarriage:itwasaseriesofclutchings.Herfatherhadnodoubtrealisedthisasshewasrealisingitnow,andveryproperlydidn'tlikeit.Youcouldn'texpecthimto.Thatwaswhyhewouldn'ttalkaboutit.Inthisshewasentirelyatonewithhim.ButperhapsHerrDremmeldidn'tlikeit,either.Wasn'tsheratherjumpingatconclusionsinimaginingthathedid?Hadn'theafterallclutchedratherinangeruptherethaninanythingelse?Andwhatabouthisearnestwish,sooftenexplained,tobeleftalldaylockedupinhislaboratory?Andwhatabouthispraise,thatveryafternoon,ofchillinhumanrelationships? Atthatmomenthereyewasarrestedbysomethingwhiteappearingslowlyandwithdifficultybeneathherdoor.Shesatupverystraightandstaredatit,watchingitseffortstogetoverandpasttheedgeofhermat.Foraninstantshewonderedwhetheritwerenotakindofinsectghostthenshesaw,asmoreofitappeared,thatitwasaletter. Sheheldherbreathwhileitstruggledin.Nobodyhadeverpushedaletterunderherdoorbefore.Shegrewhappyinstantly.Whatfun.Herheartbeatquitefastwithexcitementwhileshewaitedtohearfootstepsgoingawaybeforegettinguptofetchit.HerrDremmel,however,musthavebeeninhisgoloshes,objectsfromwhichhewasseldomseparated,forsheheardnothingandafterafewsecondsofbreathlesslisteningshegotupwithimmensecautionandwentontip-toetotheletterandpickeditup. "Why,"shethought,pausingforamomentwithasortofsolemnitybeforeopeningit,"Isupposethisismyfirstlove-letter." Therewasnothingontheenvelopeandnosignature,andthiswaswhatitsaid: "LITTLEONE, "Iwishtotellyouthatbeforegoingtomyroomto-nightIinstructedthehall-portertoorderabetrothalcake,properlyicedandwithwhatiscustomaryinthematterofsilverleaves,tobeinthesmallsalonadjoiningthesmoking-roomto-morrowmorningatnineo'clock.Sincenomancanbebetrothedalone,itwillbenecessarythatyoushouldbethere."