CHAPTER III.

Athalf-pasttwelvenextdayLordHenryWottonstrolledfromCurzonStreetovertotheAlbanytocallonhisuncle,LordFermor,agenialifsomewhatrough-manneredoldbachelor,whomtheoutsideworldcalledselfishbecauseitderivednoparticularbenefitfromhim,butwhowasconsideredgenerousbySocietyashefedthepeoplewhoamusedhim.HisfatherhadbeenourambassadoratMadridwhenIsabellawasyoungandPrimunthoughtof,buthadretiredfromthediplomaticserviceinacapriciousmomentofannoyanceonnotbeingofferedtheEmbassyatParis,aposttowhichheconsideredthathewasfullyentitledbyreasonofhisbirth,hisindolence,thegoodEnglishofhisdispatches,andhisinordinatepassionforpleasure.Theson,whohadbeenhisfather’ssecretary,hadresignedalongwithhischief,somewhatfoolishlyaswasthoughtatthetime,andonsucceedingsomemonthslatertothetitle,hadsethimselftotheseriousstudyofthegreataristocraticartofdoingabsolutelynothing.Hehadtwolargetownhouses,butpreferredtoliveinchambersasitwaslesstrouble,andtookmostofhismealsathisclub.HepaidsomeattentiontothemanagementofhiscollieriesintheMidlandcounties,excusinghimselfforthistaintofindustryonthegroundthattheoneadvantageofhavingcoalwasthatitenabledagentlemantoaffordthedecencyofburningwoodonhisownhearth.InpoliticshewasaTory,exceptwhentheTorieswereinoffice,duringwhichperiodheroundlyabusedthemforbeingapackofRadicals.Hewasaherotohisvalet,whobulliedhim,andaterrortomostofhisrelations,whomhebulliedinturn.OnlyEnglandcouldhaveproducedhim,andhealwayssaidthatthecountrywasgoingtothedogs.Hisprincipleswereoutofdate,buttherewasagooddealtobesaidforhisprejudices. WhenLordHenryenteredtheroom,hefoundhisunclesittinginaroughshooting-coat,smokingacherootandgrumblingoverTheTimes.“Well,Harry,”saidtheoldgentleman,“whatbringsyououtsoearly?Ithoughtyoudandiesnevergotuptilltwo,andwerenotvisibletillfive.” “Purefamilyaffection,Iassureyou,UncleGeorge.Iwanttogetsomethingoutofyou.” “Money,Isuppose,”saidLordFermor,makingawryface.“Well,sitdownandtellmeallaboutit.Youngpeople,nowadays,imaginethatmoneyiseverything.” “Yes,”murmuredLordHenry,settlinghisbutton-holeinhiscoat“andwhentheygrowoldertheyknowit.ButIdon’twantmoney.Itisonlypeoplewhopaytheirbillswhowantthat,UncleGeorge,andIneverpaymine.Creditisthecapitalofayoungerson,andonelivescharminglyuponit.Besides,IalwaysdealwithDartmoor’stradesmen,andconsequentlytheyneverbotherme.WhatIwantisinformation:notusefulinformation,ofcourseuselessinformation.” “Well,IcantellyouanythingthatisinanEnglishBlueBook,Harry,althoughthosefellowsnowadayswritealotofnonsense.WhenIwasintheDiplomatic,thingsweremuchbetter.ButIheartheylettheminnowbyexamination.Whatcanyouexpect?Examinations,sir,arepurehumbugfrombeginningtoend.Ifamanisagentleman,heknowsquiteenough,andifheisnotagentleman,whateverheknowsisbadforhim.” “Mr.DorianGraydoesnotbelongtoBlueBooks,UncleGeorge,”saidLordHenrylanguidly. “Mr.DorianGray?Whoishe?”askedLordFermor,knittinghisbushywhiteeyebrows. “ThatiswhatIhavecometolearn,UncleGeorge.Orrather,Iknowwhoheis.HeisthelastLordKelso’sgrandson.HismotherwasaDevereux,LadyMargaretDevereux.Iwantyoutotellmeabouthismother.Whatwasshelike?Whomdidshemarry?Youhaveknownnearlyeverybodyinyourtime,soyoumighthaveknownher.IamverymuchinterestedinMr.Grayatpresent.Ihaveonlyjustmethim.” “Kelso’sgrandson!”echoedtheoldgentleman.“Kelso’sgrandson!...Ofcourse....Iknewhismotherintimately.IbelieveIwasatherchristening.Shewasanextraordinarilybeautifulgirl,MargaretDevereux,andmadeallthemenfranticbyrunningawaywithapennilessyoungfellow—amerenobody,sir,asubalterninafootregiment,orsomethingofthatkind.Certainly.Irememberthewholethingasifithappenedyesterday.ThepoorchapwaskilledinaduelatSpaafewmonthsafterthemarriage.Therewasanuglystoryaboutit.TheysaidKelsogotsomerascallyadventurer,someBelgianbrute,toinsulthisson-in-lawinpublic—paidhim,sir,todoit,paidhim—andthatthefellowspittedhismanasifhehadbeenapigeon.Thethingwashushedup,but,egad,Kelsoatehischopaloneattheclubforsometimeafterwards.Hebroughthisdaughterbackwithhim,Iwastold,andsheneverspoketohimagain.Oh,yesitwasabadbusiness.Thegirldied,too,diedwithinayear.Sosheleftason,didshe?Ihadforgottenthat.Whatsortofboyishe?Ifheislikehismother,hemustbeagood-lookingchap.” “Heisvery