CHAPTER II. TREATS OF OLIVER TWIST’S GROWTH, EDUCATION, AND BOARD

ctpartyoftwootheryounggentleman,who,afterparticipatingwithhiminasoundthrashing,hadbeenlockedupforatrociouslypresumingtobehungry,whenMrs.Mann,thegoodladyofthehouse,wasunexpectedlystartledbytheapparitionofMr.Bumble,thebeadle,strivingtoundothewicketofthegarden-gate. “Goodnessgracious!Isthatyou,Mr.Bumble,sir?”saidMrs.Mann,thrustingherheadoutofthewindowinwell-affectedecstasiesofjoy.“(Susan,takeOliverandthemtwobratsupstairs,andwash’emdirectly.)—Myheartalive!Mr.Bumble,howgladIamtoseeyou,sure-ly!” Now,Mr.Bumblewasafatman,andacholericso,insteadofrespondingtothisopen-heartedsalutationinakindredspirit,hegavethelittlewicketatremendousshake,andthenbestoweduponitakickwhichcouldhaveemanatedfromnolegbutabeadle’s. “Lor,onlythink,”saidMrs.Mann,runningout,—forthethreeboyshadbeenremovedbythistime,—“onlythinkofthat!ThatIshouldhaveforgottenthatthegatewasboltedontheinside,onaccountofthemdearchildren!Walkinsirwalkin,pray,Mr.Bumble,do,sir.” Althoughthisinvitationwasaccompaniedwithacurtseythatmighthavesoftenedtheheartofachurch-warden,itbynomeansmollifiedthebeadle. “Doyouthinkthisrespectfulorproperconduct,Mrs.Mann,”inquiredMr.Bumble,graspinghiscane,“tokeeptheparishofficersawaitingatyourgarden-gate,whentheycomehereuponporochialbusinesswiththeporochialorphans?Areyouaweer,Mrs.Mann,thatyouare,asImaysay,aporochialdelegate,andastipendiary?” “I’msureMr.Bumble,thatIwasonlyatellingoneortwoofthedearchildrenasissofondofyou,thatitwasyouacoming,”repliedMrs.Mannwithgreathumility. Mr.Bumblehadagreatideaofhisoratoricalpowersandhisimportance.Hehaddisplayedtheone,andvindicatedtheother.Herelaxed. “Well,well,Mrs.Mann,”herepliedinacalmertone“itmaybeasyousayitmaybe.Leadthewayin,Mrs.Mann,forIcomeonbusiness,andhavesomethingtosay.” Mrs.Mannusheredthebeadleintoasmallparlourwithabrickfloorplacedaseatforhimandofficiouslydepositedhiscockedhatandcaneonthetablebeforehim.Mr.Bumblewipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhiswalkhadengendered,glancedcomplacentlyatthecockedhat,andsmiled.Yes,hesmiled.Beadlesarebutmen:andMr.Bumblesmiled. “Nowdon’tyoubeoffendedatwhatI’magoingtosay,”observedMrs.Mann,withcaptivatingsweetness.“You’vehadalongwalk,youknow,orIwouldn’tmentionit.Now,willyoutakealittledropofsomethink,Mr.Bumble?” “Notadrop.Noradrop,”saidMr.Bumble,wavinghisrighthandinadignified,butplacidmanner. “Ithinkyouwill,”saidMrs.Mann,whohadnoticedthetoneoftherefusal,andthegesturethathadaccompaniedit.“Justaleetledrop,withalittlecoldwater,andalumpofsugar.” Mr.Bumblecoughed. “Now,justaleetledrop,”saidMrs.Mannpersuasively. “Whatisit?”inquiredthebeadle. “Why,it’swhatI’mobligedtokeepalittleofinthehouse,toputintotheblessedinfants’Daffy,whentheyain’twell,Mr.Bumble,”repliedMrs.Mannassheopenedacornercupboard,andtookdownabottleandglass.“It’sgin.I’llnotdeceiveyou,Mr.B.It’sgin.” “DoyougivethechildrenDaffy,Mrs.Mann?”inquiredBumble,followingwithhiseyestheinterestingprocessofmixing. “Ah,bless’em,thatIdo,dearasitis,”repliedthenurse.“Icouldn’tsee’emsufferbeforemyveryeyes,youknowsir.” “No”saidMr.Bumbleapprovingly“no,youcouldnot.Youareahumanewoman,Mrs.Mann.”(Hereshesetdowntheglass.)“Ishalltakeaearlyopportunityofmentioningittotheboard,Mrs.Mann.”(Hedrewittowardshim.)“Youfeelasamother,Mrs.Mann.”(Hestirredthegin-and-water.)“I—Idrinkyourhealthwithcheerfulness,Mrs.Mann”andheswallowedhalfofit. “Andnowaboutbusiness,”saidthebeadle,takingoutaleathernpocket-book.“Thechildthatwashalf-baptizedOliverTwist,isnineyearoldto-day.” “Blesshim!”interposedMrs.Mann,inflamingherlefteyewiththecornerofherapron. “Andnotwithstandingaofferedrewardoftenpound,whichwasafterwardsincreasedtotwentypound.Notwithstandingthemostsuperlative,and,Imaysay,supernat’ralexertionsonthepartofthisparish,”saidBum