CHAPTER XI

ancyofallpeople!Helookedfeeblyaroundthetabletoseewhattheothersthoughtofit.Everybodywaslookingratherblank.PoorMrs.Frederickhadshuthereyes.Andherlipsmovedtremblingly—asifshewerepraying.Perhapsshewas.Thesituationwassounprecedentedthatnobodyknewhowtomeetit.Valancywentoncalmlyeatinghersaladasifnothingoutoftheusualhadoccurred. AuntAlberta,tosaveherdinner,plungedintoanaccountofhowadoghadbittenherrecently.UncleJames,tobackherup,askedwherethedoghadbittenher. “JustalittlebelowtheCatholicchurch,”saidAuntAlberta. AtthatpointValancylaughed.Nobodyelselaughed.Whatwastheretolaughat? “Isthatavitalpart?”askedValancy. “Whatdoyoumean?”saidbewilderedAuntAlberta,andMrs.FrederickwasalmostdriventobelievethatshehadservedGodallheryearsfornaught. AuntIsabelconcludedthatitwasuptohertosuppressValancy. “Doss,youarehorriblythin,”shesaid.“Youareallcorners.Doyouevertrytofattenupalittle?” “No.”Valancywasnotaskingquarterorgivingit.“ButIcantellyouwhereyou’llfindabeautyparlorinPortLawrencewheretheycanreducethenumberofyourchins.” “Val-an-cy!”TheprotestwaswrungfromMrs.Frederick.Shemeanthertonetobestatelyandmajestic,asusual,butitsoundedmorelikeanimploringwhine.Andshedidnotsay“Doss.” “She’sfeverish,”saidCousinSticklestoUncleBenjamininanagonisedwhisper.“We’vethoughtshe’sseemedfeverishforseveraldays.” “She’sgonedippy,inmyopinion,”growledUncleBenjamin.“Ifnot,sheoughttobespanked.Yes,spanked.” “Youcan’tspankher.”CousinStickleswasmuchagitated.“She’stwenty-nineyearsold.” “Sothereisthatadvantage,atleast,inbeingtwenty-nine,”saidValancy,whoseearshadcaughtthisaside. “Doss,”saidUncleBenjamin,“whenIamdeadyoumaysaywhatyouplease.AslongasIamaliveIdemandtobetreatedwithrespect.” “Oh,butyouknowwe’realldead,”saidValancy,“thewholeStirlingclan.Someofusareburiedandsomearen’t—yet.Thatistheonlydifference.”“Doss,”saidUncleBenjamin,thinkingitmightcowValancy,“doyourememberthetimeyoustoletheraspberryjam?” Valancyflushedscarlet—withsuppressedlaughter,notshame.ShehadbeensureUncleBenjaminwoulddragthatjaminsomehow. “OfcourseIdo,”shesaid.“Itwasgoodjam.I’vealwaysbeensorryIhadn’ttimetoeatmoreofitbeforeyoufoundme.Oh,lookatAuntIsabel’sprofileonthewall.Didyoueverseeanythingsofunny?” Everybodylooked,includingAuntIsabelherself,whichofcourse,destroyedit.ButUncleHerbertsaidkindly,“I—Iwouldn’teatanymoreifIwereyou,Doss.Itisn’tthatIgrudgeit—butdon’tyouthinkitwouldbebetterforyourself?Your—yourstomachseemsalittleoutoforder.” “Don’tworryaboutmystomach,olddear,”saidValancy.“Itisallright.I’mgoingtokeeprightoneating.It’ssoseldomIgetthechanceofasatisfyingmeal.” Itwasthefirsttimeanyonehadbeencalled“olddear”inDeerwood.TheStirlingsthoughtValancyhadinventedthephraseandtheywereafraidofherfromthatmoment.Therewassomethingsouncannyaboutsuchanexpression.ButinpoorMrs.Frederick’sopinionthereferencetoasatisfyingmealwastheworstthingValancyhadsaidyet.Valancyhadalwaysbeenadisappointmenttoher.Nowshewasadisgrace.Shethoughtshewouldhavetogetupandgoawayfromthetable.YetshedarednotleaveValancythere. AuntAlberta’smaidcameintoremovethesaladplatesandbringinthedessert.Itwasawelcomediversion.EverybodybrightenedupwithadeterminationtoignoreValancyandtalkasifshewasn’tthere.UncleWellingtonmentionedBarneySnaith.EventuallysomebodydidmentionBarneySnaithateveryStirlingfunction,Valancyreflected.Whateverhewas,hewasanindividualthatcouldnotbeignored.Sheresignedherselftolisten.Therewasasubtlefascinationinthesubjectforher,thoughshehadnotyetfacedthisfact.Shecouldfeelherpulsesbeatingtoherfinger-tips. Ofcoursetheyabusedhim.NobodyeverhadagoodwordtosayofBarneySnaith.Alltheold,wildtaleswerecanvassed—thedefaultingcashier-counterfeiter-infidel-murderer-in-hidinglegendswerethrashedout.UncleWellingtonwasveryindignantthatsuchacreatureshouldbeallowedtoexistatallintheneighbourhoodofDeerwood.Hedidn’tknowwhatthepol