CHAPTER 1. I AM BORN

cottonoutofoneearlikeacork. Mr.Chillipwassoalarmedbyherabruptness—ashetoldmymotherafterwards—thatitwasamercyhedidn’tlosehispresenceofmind.Butherepeatedsweetly: ‘Somelocalirritation,ma’am?’ ‘Nonsense!’repliedmyaunt,andcorkedherselfagain,atoneblow. Mr.Chillipcoulddonothingafterthis,butsitandlookatherfeebly,asshesatandlookedatthefire,untilhewascalledupstairsagain.Aftersomequarterofanhour’sabsence,hereturned. ‘Well?’saidmyaunt,takingthecottonoutoftheearnearesttohim. ‘Well,ma’am,’returnedMr.Chillip,‘weare—weareprogressingslowly,ma’am.’ ‘Ba—a—ah!’saidmyaunt,withaperfectshakeonthecontemptuousinterjection.Andcorkedherselfasbefore. Really—really—asMr.Chilliptoldmymother,hewasalmostshockedspeakinginaprofessionalpointofviewalone,hewasalmostshocked.Buthesatandlookedather,notwithstanding,fornearlytwohours,asshesatlookingatthefire,untilhewasagaincalledout.Afteranotherabsence,heagainreturned. ‘Well?’saidmyaunt,takingoutthecottononthatsideagain. ‘Well,ma’am,’returnedMr.Chillip,‘weare—weareprogressingslowly,ma’am.’ ‘Ya—a—ah!’saidmyaunt.Withsuchasnarlathim,thatMr.Chillipabsolutelycouldnotbearit.Itwasreallycalculatedtobreakhisspirit,hesaidafterwards.Hepreferredtogoandsituponthestairs,inthedarkandastrongdraught,untilhewasagainsentfor. HamPeggotty,whowenttothenationalschool,andwasaverydragonathiscatechism,andwhomaythereforeberegardedasacrediblewitness,reportednextday,thathappeningtopeepinattheparlour-dooranhourafterthis,hewasinstantlydescriedbyMissBetsey,thenwalkingtoandfroinastateofagitation,andpounceduponbeforehecouldmakehisescape.Thattherewerenowoccasionalsoundsoffeetandvoicesoverheadwhichheinferredthecottondidnotexclude,fromthecircumstanceofhisevidentlybeingclutchedbytheladyasavictimonwhomtoexpendhersuperabundantagitationwhenthesoundswereloudest.That,marchinghimconstantlyupanddownbythecollar(asifhehadbeentakingtoomuchlaudanum),she,atthosetimes,shookhim,rumpledhishair,madelightofhislinen,stoppedhisearsasifsheconfoundedthemwithherown,andotherwisetousledandmaltreatedhim.Thiswasinpartconfirmedbyhisaunt,whosawhimathalfpasttwelveo’clock,soonafterhisrelease,andaffirmedthathewasthenasredasIwas. ThemildMr.Chillipcouldnotpossiblybearmaliceatsuchatime,ifatanytime.Hesidledintotheparlourassoonashewasatliberty,andsaidtomyauntinhismeekestmanner: ‘Well,ma’am,Iamhappytocongratulateyou.’ ‘Whatupon?’saidmyaunt,sharply. Mr.Chillipwasflutteredagain,bytheextremeseverityofmyaunt’smannersohemadeheralittlebowandgaveheralittlesmile,tomollifyher. ‘Mercyontheman,what’shedoing!’criedmyaunt,impatiently.‘Can’thespeak?’ ‘Becalm,mydearma’am,’saidMr.Chillip,inhissoftestaccents. ‘Thereisnolongeranyoccasionforuneasiness,ma’am.Becalm.’ Ithassincebeenconsideredalmostamiraclethatmyauntdidn’tshakehim,andshakewhathehadtosay,outofhim.Sheonlyshookherownheadathim,butinawaythatmadehimquail. ‘Well,ma’am,’resumedMr.Chillip,assoonashehadcourage,‘Iamhappytocongratulateyou.Allisnowover,ma’am,andwellover.’ DuringthefiveminutesorsothatMr.Chillipdevotedtothedeliveryofthisoration,myaunteyedhimnarrowly. ‘Howisshe?’saidmyaunt,foldingherarmswithherbonnetstilltiedononeofthem. ‘Well,ma’am,shewillsoonbequitecomfortable,Ihope,’returnedMr.Chillip.‘Quiteascomfortableaswecanexpectayoungmothertobe,underthesemelancholydomesticcircumstances.Therecannotbeanyobjectiontoyourseeingherpresently,ma’am.Itmaydohergood.’ ‘AndSHE.HowisSHE?’saidmyaunt,sharply. Mr.Chilliplaidhisheadalittlemoreononeside,andlookedatmyauntlikeanamiablebird. ‘Thebaby,’saidmyaunt.‘Howisshe?’ ‘Ma’am,’returnedMr.Chillip,‘Iapprehendedyouhadknown.It’saboy.’ Myauntsaidneveraword,buttookherbonnetbythestrings,inthemannerofasling,aimedablowatMr.Chillip’sheadwithit,putitonbent,walkedout,andnevercameback.Shevanishedlikeadiscontentedfairyorlikeoneofthosesupernaturalbeings,whomitwaspopularlysupposedIwasentitledtoseeandnevercamebackanymore. No.Ilayinmybasket,andmymotherlayinherbedbutBetseyTrotwoodCopperfieldwasforeverinthelandofdreamsandshadows,thetremendousregionwhenceIhadsolatelytravelledandthelightuponthewindowofourroomshoneoutupontheearthlybourneofallsuchtravellers,andthemoundabovetheashesandthedustthatoncewashe,withoutwhomIhadneverbeen.