CHAPTER 1. I AM BORN

WhetherIshallturnouttobetheheroofmyownlife,orwhetherthatstationwillbeheldbyanybodyelse,thesepagesmustshow.Tobeginmylifewiththebeginningofmylife,IrecordthatIwasborn(asIhavebeeninformedandbelieve)onaFriday,attwelveo’clockatnight.Itwasremarkedthattheclockbegantostrike,andIbegantocry,simultaneously. Inconsiderationofthedayandhourofmybirth,itwasdeclaredbythenurse,andbysomesagewomenintheneighbourhoodwhohadtakenalivelyinterestinmeseveralmonthsbeforetherewasanypossibilityofourbecomingpersonallyacquainted,first,thatIwasdestinedtobeunluckyinlifeandsecondly,thatIwasprivilegedtoseeghostsandspiritsboththesegiftsinevitablyattaching,astheybelieved,toallunluckyinfantsofeithergender,borntowardsthesmallhoursonaFridaynight. Ineedsaynothinghere,onthefirsthead,becausenothingcanshowbetterthanmyhistorywhetherthatpredictionwasverifiedorfalsifiedbytheresult.Onthesecondbranchofthequestion,Iwillonlyremark,thatunlessIranthroughthatpartofmyinheritancewhileIwasstillababy,Ihavenotcomeintoityet.ButIdonotatallcomplainofhavingbeenkeptoutofthispropertyandifanybodyelseshouldbeinthepresentenjoymentofit,heisheartilywelcometokeepit. Iwasbornwithacaul,whichwasadvertisedforsale,inthenewspapers,atthelowpriceoffifteenguineas.Whethersea-goingpeoplewereshortofmoneyaboutthattime,orwereshortoffaithandpreferredcorkjackets,Idon’tknowallIknowis,thattherewasbutonesolitarybidding,andthatwasfromanattorneyconnectedwiththebill-brokingbusiness,whoofferedtwopoundsincash,andthebalanceinsherry,butdeclinedtobeguaranteedfromdrowningonanyhigherbargain.Consequentlytheadvertisementwaswithdrawnatadeadloss—forastosherry,mypoordearmother’sownsherrywasinthemarketthen—andtenyearsafterwards,thecaulwasputupinaraffledowninourpartofthecountry,tofiftymembersathalf-a-crownahead,thewinnertospendfiveshillings.Iwaspresentmyself,andIremembertohavefeltquiteuncomfortableandconfused,atapartofmyselfbeingdisposedofinthatway.Thecaulwaswon,Irecollect,byanoldladywithahand-basket,who,veryreluctantly,producedfromitthestipulatedfiveshillings,allinhalfpence,andtwopencehalfpennyshort—asittookanimmensetimeandagreatwasteofarithmetic,toendeavourwithoutanyeffecttoprovetoher.Itisafactwhichwillbelongrememberedasremarkabledownthere,thatshewasneverdrowned,butdiedtriumphantlyinbed,atninety-two.Ihaveunderstoodthatitwas,tothelast,herproudestboast,thatsheneverhadbeenonthewaterinherlife,exceptuponabridgeandthatoverhertea(towhichshewasextremelypartial)she,tothelast,expressedherindignationattheimpietyofmarinersandothers,whohadthepresumptiontogo‘meandering’abouttheworld.Itwasinvaintorepresenttoherthatsomeconveniences,teaperhapsincluded,resultedfromthisobjectionablepractice.Shealwaysreturned,withgreateremphasisandwithaninstinctiveknowledgeofthestrengthofherobjection,‘Letushavenomeandering.’ Nottomeandermyself,atpresent,Iwillgobacktomybirth. IwasbornatBlunderstone,inSuffolk,or‘thereby’,astheysayinScotland.Iwasaposthumouschild.Myfather’seyeshadcloseduponthelightofthisworldsixmonths,whenmineopenedonit.Thereissomethingstrangetome,evennow,inthereflectionthatheneversawmeandsomethingstrangeryetintheshadowyremembrancethatIhaveofmyfirstchildishassociationswithhiswhitegrave-stoneinthechurchyard,andoftheindefinablecompassionIusedtofeelforitlyingoutalonethereinthedarknight,whenourlittleparlourwaswarmandbrightwithfireandcandle,andthedoorsofourhousewere—almostcruelly,itseemedtomesometimes—boltedandlockedagainstit. Anauntofmyfather’s,andconsequentlyagreat-auntofmine,ofwhomIshallhavemoretorelatebyandby,wastheprincipalmagnateofourfamily.MissTrotwood,orMissBetsey,asmypoormotheralwayscalledher,whenshesufficientlyovercameherdreadofthisformidablepersonagetomentionheratall(whichwasseldom),hadbeenmarriedtoahusbandyoungerthanherself,whowasveryhandsome,exceptinthesenseofthehomelyadage,‘handsomeis,thathandsomedoes’—forhewasstronglysuspectedofhavingbeatenMissBetsey,andevenofhavingonce,onadisputedquestionofsupplies,madesomehastybutdeterminedarrangementstothrowheroutofatwopairofstairs’window.TheseevidencesofanincompatibilityoftemperinducedMissBetseytopayhimoff,andeffectaseparationbymutualconsent.HewenttoIndiawithhiscapital,andthere,accordingtoawildlegendinourfamily,hewasonceseenridingonanelephant,incompanywithaBaboonbutIthink