II.THE RED-HEADED LEAGUE

ts’endwhattodowiththemoney.Ifmyhairwouldonlychangecolour,here’sanicelittlecriballreadyformetostepinto.’ “‘Why,whatisit,then?’Iasked.Yousee,Mr.Holmes,Iamaverystay-at-homeman,andasmybusinesscametomeinsteadofmyhavingtogotoit,Iwasoftenweeksonendwithoutputtingmyfootoverthedoor-mat.InthatwayIdidn’tknowmuchofwhatwasgoingonoutside,andIwasalwaysgladofabitofnews. “‘HaveyouneverheardoftheLeagueoftheRed-headedMen?’heaskedwithhiseyesopen. “‘Never.’ “‘Why,Iwonderatthat,foryouareeligibleyourselfforoneofthevacancies.’ “‘Andwhataretheyworth?’Iasked. “‘Oh,merelyacoupleofhundredayear,buttheworkisslight,anditneednotinterfereverymuchwithone’sotheroccupations.’ “Well,youcaneasilythinkthatthatmademeprickupmyears,forthebusinesshasnotbeenovergoodforsomeyears,andanextracoupleofhundredwouldhavebeenveryhandy. “‘Tellmeallaboutit,’saidI. “‘Well,’saidhe,showingmetheadvertisement,‘youcanseeforyourselfthattheLeaguehasavacancy,andthereistheaddresswhereyoushouldapplyforparticulars.AsfarasIcanmakeout,theLeaguewasfoundedbyanAmericanmillionaire,EzekiahHopkins,whowasverypeculiarinhisways.Hewashimselfred-headed,andhehadagreatsympathyforallred-headedmenso,whenhedied,itwasfoundthathehadlefthisenormousfortuneinthehandsoftrustees,withinstructionstoapplytheinteresttotheprovidingofeasyberthstomenwhosehairisofthatcolour.FromallIhearitissplendidpayandverylittletodo.’ “‘But,’saidI,‘therewouldbemillionsofred-headedmenwhowouldapply.’ “‘Notsomanyasyoumightthink,’heanswered.‘YouseeitisreallyconfinedtoLondoners,andtogrownmen.ThisAmericanhadstartedfromLondonwhenhewasyoung,andhewantedtodotheoldtownagoodturn.Then,again,Ihavehearditisnouseyourapplyingifyourhairislightred,ordarkred,oranythingbutrealbright,blazing,fieryred.Now,ifyoucaredtoapply,Mr.Wilson,youwouldjustwalkinbutperhapsitwouldhardlybeworthyourwhiletoputyourselfoutofthewayforthesakeofafewhundredpounds.’ “Now,itisafact,gentlemen,asyoumayseeforyourselves,thatmyhairisofaveryfullandrichtint,sothatitseemedtomethatiftherewastobeanycompetitioninthematterIstoodasgoodachanceasanymanthatIhadevermet.VincentSpauldingseemedtoknowsomuchaboutitthatIthoughthemightproveuseful,soIjustorderedhimtoputuptheshuttersforthedayandtocomerightawaywithme.Hewasverywillingtohaveaholiday,soweshutthebusinessupandstartedofffortheaddressthatwasgivenusintheadvertisement. “Ineverhopetoseesuchasightasthatagain,Mr.Holmes.Fromnorth,south,east,andwesteverymanwhohadashadeofredinhishairhadtrampedintothecitytoanswertheadvertisement.FleetStreetwaschokedwithred-headedfolk,andPope’sCourtlookedlikeacoster’sorangebarrow.Ishouldnothavethoughtthereweresomanyinthewholecountryaswerebroughttogetherbythatsingleadvertisement.Everyshadeofcolourtheywere—straw,lemon,orange,brick,Irish-setter,liver,claybut,asSpauldingsaid,therewerenotmanywhohadtherealvividflame-colouredtint.WhenIsawhowmanywerewaiting,IwouldhavegivenitupindespairbutSpauldingwouldnothearofit.HowhediditIcouldnotimagine,buthepushedandpulledandbutteduntilhegotmethroughthecrowd,andrightuptothestepswhichledtotheoffice.Therewasadoublestreamuponthestair,somegoingupinhope,andsomecomingbackdejectedbutwewedgedinaswellaswecouldandsoonfoundourselvesintheoffice.” “Yourexperiencehasbeenamostentertainingone,”remarkedHolmesashisclientpausedandrefreshedhismemorywithahugepinchofsnuff.“Praycontinueyourveryinterestingstatement.” “Therewasnothingintheofficebutacoupleofwoodenchairsandadealtable,behindwhichsatasmallmanwithaheadthatwasevenredderthanmine.Hesaidafewwordstoeachcandidateashecameup,andthenhealwaysmanagedtofindsomefaultinthemwhichwoulddisqualifythem.Gettingavacancydidnotseemtobesuchaveryeasymatter,afterall.However,whenourturncamethelittlemanwasmuchmorefavourabletomethantoanyoftheothers,andheclosedthedoorasweentered,sothathemighthaveaprivatewordwithus. “‘ThisisMr.JabezWilson,’saidmyassistant,‘andheiswillingtofillavacancyintheLeague.’ “‘Andheisadmirablysuitedforit,’theotheranswered.‘Hehaseveryrequirement.IcannotrecallwhenIhaveseenanythingsofine.’Hetookastepbackward,cockedhisheadononeside,andgazedatmyhairuntilIfeltquitebashful.Thensuddenlyheplungedforward,wrungmyhand,andcongratulatedmewarmlyonmysuccess. “‘Itwouldbeinjusticetohesitate,’saidhe.‘Youwill,however,Iamsure,excusemefortakinganobviousprecaution.’Withthatheseizedmyhairinbothhishands,andtuggeduntilIyelledwiththepain.‘Thereiswaterinyoureyes,’saidheashereleasedme.‘Iperceivethatallisasitshouldbe.Butwehavetobecareful,forwehavetwicebeendeceivedbywigsandoncebypaint.Icouldtellyoutalesofcobbler’swaxwhichwoulddisgustyouwithhumannature.’Hesteppedovertothewindowandshoutedthroughitatthetopofhisvoicethatthevacancywasfilled.Agroanofdisappointmentcameupfrombelow,andthefolkalltroopedawayindifferentdirectionsuntiltherewasnotared-headtobeseenexceptmyownandthatofthemanager. “‘Myname,’saidhe,‘isMr.DuncanRoss,andIammyselfoneofthepensionersuponthefundleftbyournoblebenefactor.Areyouamarriedman,Mr.Wilson?Haveyouafamily?’ “IansweredthatIhadnot. “Hisfacefellimmediately. “‘Dearme!’hesaidgravely,‘thatisveryseriousindeed!Iamsorrytohearyousaythat.Thefundwas,ofcourse,forthepropagationandspreadofthered-headsaswellasfortheirmaintenance.Itisexceedinglyunfortunatethatyoushouldbeabachelor.’ “Myfacelengthenedatthis,Mr.Holmes,forIthoughtthatIwasnottohavethevacancyafterallbutafterthinkingitoverforafewminuteshesaidthatitwouldbeallright. “‘Inthecaseofanother,’saidhe,‘theobjectionmightbefatal,butwemuststretchapointinfavourofamanwithsuchaheadofhairasyours.Whenshallyoubeabletoenteruponyournewduties?’ “‘Well,itisalittleawkward,forIhaveabusinessalready,’saidI. “‘Oh,nevermindaboutthat,Mr.Wilson!’saidVincentSpaulding.‘Ishouldbeabletolookafterthatforyou.’ “‘Whatwouldbethehours?’Iasked. “‘Tentotwo.’ “Nowapawnbroker’sbusinessismostlydoneofanevening,Mr.Holmes,especiallyThursdayandFridayevening,whichisjustbeforepay-daysoitwouldsuitmeverywelltoearnalittleinthemornings.Besides,Iknewthatmyassistantwasagoodman,andthathewouldseetoanythingthatturnedup. “‘Thatwouldsuitmeverywell,’saidI.‘Andthepay?’ “‘Is￡4aweek.’ “‘Andthework?’ “‘Ispurelynominal.’ “‘Whatdoyoucallpurelynominal?’ “‘Well,youhavetobeintheoffice,oratleastinthebuilding,thewholetime.Ifyouleave,youforfeityourwholepositionforever.Thewillisveryclearuponthatpoint.Youdon’tcomplywiththeconditionsifyoubudgefromtheofficeduringthattime.’ “‘It’sonlyfourhoursaday,andIshouldnotthinkofleaving,’saidI. “‘Noexcusewillavail,’saidMr.DuncanRoss‘neithersicknessnorbusinessnoranythingelse.Thereyoumuststay,oryouloseyourbillet.’ “‘Andthework?’ “‘IstocopyouttheEncyclop?diaBritannica.Thereisthefirstvolumeofitinthatpress.Youmustfindyourownink,pens,andblotting-paper,butweprovidethistableandchair.Willyoubereadyto-morrow?’ “‘Certainly,’Ianswered. “‘Then,good-bye,Mr.JabezWilson,andletmecongratulateyouoncemoreontheimportantpositionwhichyouhavebeenfortunateenoughtogain.’HebowedmeoutoftheroomandIwenthomewithmyassistant,hardlyknowingwhattosayordo,Iwassopleasedatmyowngoodfortune. “Well,Ithoughtoverthematterallday,andbyeveningIwasinlowspiritsagainforIhadquitepersuadedmyselfthatthewholeaffairmustbesomegreathoaxorfraud,thoughwhatitsobjectmightbeIcouldnotimagine.Itseemedaltogetherpastbeliefthatanyonecouldmakesuchawill,orthattheywouldpaysuchasumfordoinganythingsosimpleascopyingouttheEncyclop?diaBritannica.VincentSpauldingdidwhathecouldtocheermeup,butbybedtimeIhadreasonedmyselfoutofthewholething.However,inthemorningIdeterminedtohavealookatitanyhow,soIboughtapennybottleofink,andwithaquill-pen,andsevensheetsoffoolscappaper,IstartedoffforPope’sCourt. “Well,tomysurpriseanddelight,everythingwasasrightaspossible.Thetablewassetoutreadyforme,andMr.DuncanRosswastheretoseethatIgotfairlytowork.HestartedmeoffupontheletterA,andthenheleftmebuthewoulddropinfromtimetotimetoseethatallwasrightwithme.Attwoo’clockhebademegood-day,complimentedmeupontheamountthatIhadwritten,andlockedthedooroftheofficeafterme. “Thiswentondayafterday,Mr.Holmes,andonSaturdaythemanagercameinandplankeddownfourgoldensovereignsformyweek’swork.Itwasthesamenextweek,andthesametheweekafter.EverymorningIwasthereatten,andeveryafternoonIleftattwo.BydegreesMr.DuncanRosstooktocominginonlyonceofamorning,an