I.A SCANDAL IN BOHEMIA

I. ToSherlockHolmessheisalwaysthewoman.Ihaveseldomheardhimmentionherunderanyothername.Inhiseyessheeclipsesandpredominatesthewholeofhersex.ItwasnotthathefeltanyemotionakintoloveforIreneAdler.Allemotions,andthatoneparticularly,wereabhorrenttohiscold,precisebutadmirablybalancedmind.Hewas,Itakeit,themostperfectreasoningandobservingmachinethattheworldhasseen,butasaloverhewouldhaveplacedhimselfinafalseposition.Heneverspokeofthesofterpassions,savewithagibeandasneer.Theywereadmirablethingsfortheobserver—excellentfordrawingtheveilfrommen’smotivesandactions.Butforthetrainedreasonertoadmitsuchintrusionsintohisowndelicateandfinelyadjustedtemperamentwastointroduceadistractingfactorwhichmightthrowadoubtuponallhismentalresults.Gritinasensitiveinstrument,oracrackinoneofhisownhigh-powerlenses,wouldnotbemoredisturbingthanastrongemotioninanaturesuchashis.Andyettherewasbutonewomantohim,andthatwomanwasthelateIreneAdler,ofdubiousandquestionablememory. IhadseenlittleofHolmeslately.Mymarriagehaddriftedusawayfromeachother.Myowncompletehappiness,andthehome-centredinterestswhichriseuparoundthemanwhofirstfindshimselfmasterofhisownestablishment,weresufficienttoabsorballmyattention,whileHolmes,wholoathedeveryformofsocietywithhiswholeBohemiansoul,remainedinourlodgingsinBakerStreet,buriedamonghisoldbooks,andalternatingfromweektoweekbetweencocaineandambition,thedrowsinessofthedrug,andthefierceenergyofhisownkeennature.Hewasstill,asever,deeplyattractedbythestudyofcrime,andoccupiedhisimmensefacultiesandextraordinarypowersofobservationinfollowingoutthoseclues,andclearingupthosemysterieswhichhadbeenabandonedashopelessbytheofficialpolice.FromtimetotimeIheardsomevagueaccountofhisdoings:ofhissummonstoOdessainthecaseoftheTrepoffmurder,ofhisclearingupofthesingulartragedyoftheAtkinsonbrothersatTrincomalee,andfinallyofthemissionwhichhehadaccomplishedsodelicatelyandsuccessfullyforthereigningfamilyofHolland.Beyondthesesignsofhisactivity,however,whichImerelysharedwithallthereadersofthedailypress,Iknewlittleofmyformerfriendandcompanion. Onenight—itwasonthetwentiethofMarch,1888—Iwasreturningfromajourneytoapatient(forIhadnowreturnedtocivilpractice),whenmywayledmethroughBakerStreet.AsIpassedthewell-remembereddoor,whichmustalwaysbeassociatedinmymindwithmywooing,andwiththedarkincidentsoftheStudyinScarlet,IwasseizedwithakeendesiretoseeHolmesagain,andtoknowhowhewasemployinghisextraordinarypowers.Hisroomswerebrilliantlylit,and,evenasIlookedup,Isawhistall,sparefigurepasstwiceinadarksilhouetteagainsttheblind.Hewaspacingtheroomswiftly,eagerly,withhisheadsunkuponhischestandhishandsclaspedbehindhim.Tome,whoknewhiseverymoodandhabit,hisattitudeandmannertoldtheirownstory.Hewasatworkagain.Hehadrisenoutofhisdrug-createddreamsandwashotuponthescentofsomenewproblem.Irangthebellandwasshownuptothechamberwhichhadformerlybeeninpartmyown. Hismannerwasnoteffusive.Itseldomwasbuthewasglad,Ithink,toseeme.Withhardlyawordspoken,butwithakindlyeye,hewavedmetoanarmchair,threwacrosshiscaseofcigars,andindicatedaspiritcaseandagasogeneinthecorner.Thenhestoodbeforethefireandlookedmeoverinhissingularintrospectivefashion. “Wedlocksuitsyou,”heremarked.“Ithink,Watson,thatyouhaveputonsevenandahalfpoundssinceIsawyou.” “Seven!”Ianswered. “Indeed,Ishouldhavethoughtalittlemore.Justatriflemore,Ifancy,Watson.Andinpracticeagain,Iobserve.Youdidnottellmethatyouintendedtogointoharness.” “Then,howdoyouknow?” “Iseeit,Ideduceit.HowdoIknowthatyouhavebeengettingyourselfverywetlately,andthatyouhaveamostclumsyandcarelessservantgirl?” “MydearHolmes,”saidI,“thisistoomuch.Youwouldcertainlyhavebeenburned,hadyoulivedafewcenturiesago.ItistruethatIhadacountrywalkonThursdayandcamehomeinadreadfulmess,butasIhavechangedmyclothesIcan’timaginehowyoudeduceit.AstoMaryJane,sheisincorrigible,andmywifehasgivenhernotice,butthere,again,Ifailtoseehowyouworkitout.” Hechuckledtohimselfandrubbedhislong,nervoushandstogether. “Itissimplicityitself,”saidhe“myeyestellmethatontheinsideofyourleftshoe,justwherethefirelightstrikesit,theleatherisscoredbysixalmostparallelcuts.Obviouslytheyhavebeencausedbysomeonewhohasverycarelesslyscrapedroundtheedgesofthesoleinordertoremovecrustedmudfromit.Hence,yousee,mydoubledeductionthatyouhadbeenoutinvileweather,andthatyouhadaparticularlymalignantboot-slittingspecimenoftheLondonslavey.Astoyourpractice,ifagentlemanwalksintomyroomssmellingofiodoform,withablackmarkofnitrateofsilveruponhisrightforefinger,andabulgeontherightsideofhistop-hattoshowwherehehassecretedhisstethoscope,Imustbedull,indeed,ifIdonotpronouncehimtobeanactivememberofthemedicalprofession.” Icouldnothelplaughingattheeasewithwhichheexplainedhisprocessofdeduction.“WhenIhearyougiveyourreasons,”Iremarked,“thethingalwaysappearstometobesoridiculouslysimplethatIcouldeasilydoitmyself,thoughateachsuccessiveinstanceofyourreasoningIambaffleduntilyouexplainyourprocess.AndyetIbelievethatmyeyesareasgoodasyours.” “Quiteso,”heanswered,lightingacigarette,andthrowinghimselfdownintoanarmchair.“Yousee,butyoudonotobserve.Thedistinctionisclear.Forexample,youhavefrequentlyseenthestepswhichleadupfromthehalltothisroom.” “Frequently.” “Howoften?” “Well,somehundredsoftimes.” “Thenhowmanyarethere?” “Howmany?Idon’tknow.” “Quiteso!Youhavenotobserved.Andyetyouhaveseen.Thatisjustmypoint.Now,Iknowthatthereareseventeensteps,becauseIhavebothseenandobserved.Bytheway,sinceyouareinterestedintheselittleproblems,andsinceyouaregoodenoughtochronicleoneortwoofmytriflingexperiences,youmaybeinterestedinthis.”Hethrewoverasheetofthick,pink-tintednotepaperwhichhadbeenlyingopenuponthetable.“Itcamebythelastpost,”saidhe.“Readitaloud.” Thenotewasundated,andwithouteithersignatureoraddress. “Therewillcalluponyouto-night,ataquartertoeighto’clock,”itsaid,“agentlemanwhodesirestoconsultyouuponamatteroftheverydeepestmoment.YourrecentservicestooneoftheroyalhousesofEuropehaveshownthatyouareonewhomaysafelybetrustedwithmatterswhichareofanimportancewhichcanhardlybeexaggerated.Thisaccountofyouwehavefromallquartersreceived.Beinyourchamberthenatthathour,anddonottakeitamissifyourvisitorwearamask.” “Thisisindeedamystery,”Iremarked.“Whatdoyouimaginethatitmeans?” “Ihavenodatayet.Itisacapitalmistaketotheorisebeforeonehasdata.Insensiblyonebeginstotwistfactstosuittheories,insteadoftheoriestosuitfacts.Butthenoteitself.Whatdoyoudeducefromit?” Icarefullyexaminedthewriting,andthepaperuponwhichitwaswritten. “Themanwhowroteitwaspresumablywelltodo,”Iremarked,endeavouringtoimitatemycompanion’sprocesses.“Suchpapercouldnotbeboughtunderhalfacrownapacket.Itispeculiarlystrongandstiff.” “Peculiar—thatistheveryword,”saidHolmes.“ItisnotanEnglishpaperatall.Holdituptothelight.” Ididso,andsawalarge“E”withasmall“g,”a“P,”andalarge“G”withasmall“t”wovenintothetextureofthepaper. “Whatdoyoumakeofthat?”askedHolmes. “Thenameofthemaker,nodoubtorhismonogram,rather.” “Notatall.The‘G’withthesmall‘t’standsfor‘Gesellschaft,’whichistheGermanfor‘Company.’Itisacustomarycontractionlikeour‘Co.’‘P,’ofcourse,standsfor‘Papier.’Nowforthe‘Eg.’LetusglanceatourContinentalGazetteer.”Hetookdownaheavybrownvolumefromhisshelves.“Eglow,Eglonitz—hereweare,Egria.ItisinaGerman-speakingcountry—inBohemia,notfarfromCarlsbad.‘RemarkableasbeingthesceneofthedeathofWallenstein,andforitsnumerousglass-factoriesandpaper-mills.’Ha,ha,myboy,whatdoyoumakeofthat?”Hiseyessparkled,andhesentupagreatbluetriumphantcloudfromhiscigarette. “ThepaperwasmadeinBohemia,”Isaid. “Precisely.AndthemanwhowrotethenoteisaGerman.Doyounotethepeculiarconstructionofthesentence—‘Thisaccountofyouwehavefromallquartersreceived.’AFrenchmanorRussiancouldnothavewrittenthat.ItistheGermanwhoissouncourteoustohisverbs.Itonlyremains,therefore,todiscoverwhatiswantedbythisGermanwhowritesuponBohemian