CHAPTER XIX.

ightofherbefore.Itwasinanook,screenedbyaclumpoftreestherewasthewhitewallbeforeher,andalittlestonesetupagainstthewall,and,atthefootofthestone,wasanallotmentofturffreshlyturnedup,anew-madegrave.Iputonmyspectacles,andpassedsoftlyclosebehindherglancingattheinscriptiononthestone,Iread,“JulienneHenri,diedatBrussels,agedsixty.August10th,18—.”Havingperusedtheinscription,Ilookeddownattheformsittingbentandthoughtfuljustundermyeyes,unconsciousofthevicinityofanylivingthingitwasaslim,youthfulfigureinmourningappareloftheplainestblackstuff,withalittlesimple,blackcrapebonnetIfelt,aswellassaw,whoitwasand,movingneitherhandnorfoot,Istoodsomemomentsenjoyingthesecurityofconviction.Ihadsoughtherforamonth,andhadneverdiscoveredoneofhertraces—nevermetahope,orseizedachanceofencounteringheranywhere.Ihadbeenforcedtoloosenmygrasponexpectationand,butanhourago,hadsunkslacklyunderthediscouragingthoughtthatthecurrentoflife,andtheimpulseofdestiny,hadsweptherforeverfrommyreachand,behold,whilebendingsuddenlyearthwardbeneaththepressureofdespondency—whilefollowingwithmyeyesthetrackofsorrowontheturfofagraveyard—herewasmylostjeweldroppedonthetear-fedherbage,nestlinginthemessyandmouldyrootsofyew-trees. Francessatveryquiet,herelbowonherknee,andherheadonherhand.Iknewshecouldretainathinkingattitudealongtimewithoutchangeatlast,atearfellshehadbeenlookingatthenameonthestonebeforeher,andherhearthadnodoubtenduredoneofthoseconstrictionswithwhichthedesolateliving,regrettingthedead,are,attimes,sosorelyoppressed.Manytearsrolleddown,whichshewipedaway,againandagain,withherhandkerchiefsomedistressedsobsescapedher,andthen,theparoxysmover,shesatquietasbefore.Iputmyhandgentlyonhershouldernoneedfurthertoprepareher,forshewasneitherhystericalnorliabletofainting-fitsasuddenpush,indeed,mighthavestartledher,butthecontactofmyquiettouchmerelywokeattentionasIwishedand,thoughsheturnedquickly,yetsolightning-swiftisthought—insomemindsespecially—Ibelievethewonderofwhat—theconsciousnessofwhoitwasthatthusstoleunawaresonhersolitude,hadpassedthroughherbrain,andflashedintoherheart,evenbeforeshehadeffectedthathastymovementatleast,Amazementhadhardlyopenedhereyesandraisedthemtomine,ereRecognitioninformedtheiriridswithmostspeakingbrightness.Nervoussurprisehadhardlydiscomposedherfeaturesereasentimentofmostvividjoyshoneclearandwarmonherwholecountenance.Ihadhardlytimetoobservethatshewaswastedandpale,erecalledtofeelaresponsiveinwardpleasurebythesenseofmostfullandexquisitepleasureglowingintheanimatedflush,andshiningintheexpansivelight,nowdiffusedovermypupil’sface.Itwasthesummersunflashingoutaftertheheavysummershowerandwhatfertilizesmorerapidlythanthatbeam,burningalmostlikefireinitsardour? Ihateboldness—thatboldnesswhichisofthebrassybrowandinsensatenervesbutIlovethecourageofthestrongheart,thefervourofthegenerousbloodIlovedwithpassionthelightofFrancesEvans’clearhazeleyewhenitdidnotfeartolookstraightintomineIlovedthetoneswithwhichsheutteredthewords— “Monmaitre!monmaitre!” IlovedthemovementwithwhichsheconfidedherhandtomyhandIlovedherasshestoodthere,pennilessandparentlessforasensualistcharmless,formeatreasure—mybestobjectofsympathyonearth,thinkingsuchthoughtsasIthought,feelingsuchfeelingsasIfeltmyidealoftheshrineinwhichtosealmystoresoflovepersonificationofdiscretionandforethought,ofdiligenceandperseverance,ofself-denialandself-control—thoseguardians,thosetrustykeepersofthegiftIlongedtoconferonher—thegiftofallmyaffectionsmodeloftruthandhonour,ofindependenceandconscientiousness—thoserefinersandsustainersofanhonestlifesilentpossessorofawelloftenderness,ofaflame,asgenialasstill,aspureasquenchless,ofnaturalfeeling,naturalpassion—thosesourcesofrefreshmentandcomforttothesanctuaryofhome.IknewhowquietlyandhowdeeplythewellbubbledinherheartIknewhowthemoredangerousflameburnedsafelyundertheeyeofreasonIhadseenwhenthefireshotupamomenthighandvivid,whentheacceleratedheattroubledlife’scurrentinitschannelsIhadseenreasonreducetherebel,andhumbleitsblazetoembers.IhadconfidenceinFrancesEvansIhadrespectforher,andasIdrewherarmthroughmine,andledheroutofthecemetery,IfeltIhadanothersentiment,asstrongasconfidence,asfirmasrespect,morefervidthaneither—thatoflove. “Well,mypupil,”saidI,astheominoussoundinggateswungtobehindus—“Well,Ihavefoundyouagain:amonth’ssearchhasseemedlong,andIlittlethoughttohavediscoveredmylostsheepstrayingamongstgraves.” NeverhadIaddressedherbutas“Mademoiselle”before,andtospeakthuswastotakeupatonenewtobothherandme.Heranswersuprisedmethatthislanguagerufflednoneofherfeelings,wokenodiscordinherheart: “Monmaitre,”shesaid,“haveyoutroubledyourselftoseekme?Ilittleimaginedyouwouldthinkmuchofmyabsence,butIgrievedbitterlytobetakenawayfromyou.Iwassorryforthatcircumstancewhenheaviertroublesoughttohavemademeforgetit.” “Yourauntisdead?” “Yes,afortnightsince,andshediedfullofregret,whichIcouldnotchasefromhermindshekeptrepeating,evenduringthelastnightofherexistence,‘Frances,youwillbesolonelywhenIamgone,sofriendless:’shewishedtoothatshecouldhavebeenburiedinSwitzerland,anditwasIwhopersuadedherinheroldagetoleavethebanksofLakeLeman,andtocome,onlyasitseemstodie,inthisflatregionofFlanders.WillinglywouldIhaveobservedherlastwish,andtakenherremainsbacktoourowncountry,butthatwasimpossibleIwasforcedtolayherhere.” “Shewasillbutashorttime,Ipresume?” “Butthreeweeks.WhenshebegantosinkIaskedMdlle.Reuter’sleavetostaywithherandwaitonherIreadilygotleave.” “Doyoureturntothepensionnat!”Idemandedhastily. “Monsieur,whenIhadbeenathomeaweekMdlle.Reutercalledoneevening,justafterIhadgotmyaunttobedshewentintoherroomtospeaktoher,andwasextremelycivilandaffable,asshealwaysisafterwardsshecameandsatwithmealongtime,andjustassherosetogoaway,shesaid:“Mademoiselle,Ishallnotsoonceasetoregretyourdeparturefrommyestablishment,thoughindeeditistruethatyouhavetaughtyourclassofpupilssowellthattheyareallquiteaccomplishedinthelittleworksyoumanagesoskilfully,andhavenottheslightestneedoffurtherinstructionmysecondteachermustinfuturesupplyyourplace,withregardtotheyoungerpupils,aswellasshecan,thoughsheisindeedaninferiorartistetoyou,anddoubtlessitwillbeyourpartnowtoassumeahigherpositioninyourcallingIamsureyouwilleverywherefindschoolsandfamilieswillingtoprofitbyyourtalents.’Andthenshepaidmemylastquarter’ssalary.Iasked,asmademoisellewouldnodoubtthink,verybluntly,ifshedesignedtodischargemefromtheestablishment.Shesmiledatmyineleganceofspeech,andansweredthat‘ourconnectionasemployerandemployedwascertainlydissolved,butthatshehopedstilltoretainthepleasureofmyacquaintancesheshouldalwaysbehappytoseemeasafriend’andthenshesaidsomethingabouttheexcellentconditionofthestreets,andthelongcontinuanceoffineweather,andwentawayquitecheerful.” Ilaughedinwardlyallthiswassolikethedirectress—solikewhatIhadexpectedandguessedofherconductandthentheexposureandproofofherlie,unconsciouslyaffordedbyFrances:—“ShehadfrequentlyappliedforMdlle.Henri’saddress,”forsooth“Mdlle.Henrihadalwaysevadedgivingit,”&c.,&c.,andhereIfoundheravisitorattheveryhouseofwhoselocalityshehadprofessedabsoluteignorance! AnycommentsImighthaveintendedtomakeonmypupil’scommunicat